When I was younger; early teen, I had a special affinity for the Asian Cultures. This began during the Love Generation years. There was acceptance back then for exploring other religions and other cultures. From this exploration, I felt most at home in the Far East, where I had never visited. These cultures are more introverted, which was more similar to my own personality. I was not exactly optimized in the more extroverted West, where I was born. As a Catholic, I would have been more of Monk than a Priest, had I not chosen to also include secular.
One night, I had a dream about an Asian girl. There were very few Asian people where I lived, besides in Chinese Restaurants. I do not remember the details, but the ambiance of that dream stuck with me, and seemed to connect me, even more to Far East. Back then, I thought in terms of a past lives, with this from a time long ago. The dream forbade a happy love, lost.
Many years later, in mid mid-twenties, I met that girl of my dreams. She came to me in a night club, and ask for me to be with her. This was at the time, I was just started doing my Unconscious mind research on myself, recording dreams and reading Jung. We stayed up all night talking, and getting go know each other. This led to dating, which brought back that old dream. The dream now appeared to have been a premonition of this future connection. She had immigrated from South Korea; green card, and spoke good English. She had come from humble means, but was hard working and self sufficient with a new car and a nice apartment.
When we first became intimate, I was more of a player, and she was more attached to me. I wanted to keep my options open, and have my cake and eat it at the same time. She seemed OK since men in her culture acted that way. One night I had a dream about her, where she was a sorceress, who had men all around her, tied up in chains, attached to the ground. This dream seemed so different from her almost subservient manner to me. However, her wide spectrum Geisha Girl ways, of catering to me, did eventually place me in her chains, as I continued my Unconscious research. She became my solid ground, that I could anchor to, while I floated away via the archetypes of the collective unconscious. She knew what I was attempting to do, and she could help me pull myself back to earth; her Geisha Girl sensory triggers. It would have been so much harder without her.
We overcame many ups and down, but eventually we had to part ways, by fate, when the uninstall process started for the update. This was the worst of times. I was cut off from her mooring and I became free floating, until I could graph myself; reattach myself and grow from scratch.
We have lost contact. She may have been the female version of me. Who knows? She went on to become a US citizen, and then educated herself; graduate school education, and became a nurse in the Western US, specializing in premature baby care. She had a few children with her husband.
We had made plans to marry, before we parted. Thinking of being married to her, I always had this vision of once we married, my life would go blank, with the years flying by, in a repetitive family routine. In the vision, I would not awaken, until I finally retired decades later. Ironically, here I am, 30 years later, foggy of my past 30 years, waking up, but never formally married.
It is hard tell if all this was connected to reincarnation, or time projection. The inner self and unconscious mind can time project, which can go both to the future, as well as to the past, to help explain where we are today. At one point in the uninstall, to address the Satan subroutine, I had to drift back into time, to unravel the layers of the firmware, that have been built up over the centuries, back to ancient simplicity.
It is like planning a vacation. We look to the future and set up the logistics of a flight, hotel and maybe a rent a car. We also do some research and plan the itinerary, that we will follow in the future. We may also look back at past vacations, and learn from that, such as which hotels to avoid or upgrade. Once we get to the location, twists of fate, like weather, can change all the plans. We may then rely on the deeper past and a new future to fill in the change. The inner self does the same things, but in longer time scales; far past and far future even beyond us, but maybe recorded somehow in our DNA, which is part of the hard drive of the inner self; natural selective patterns.