RF Every day sexism

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I thought I would make a thread about every day sexism so we could share our stories when they happen, or past stories.
As someone who has often felt ashamed by harassment, so much so that I couldn't even talk about it, I thought this would be important for some people in the forum to get things off their chest.

So Friday evening (of this week) I was walking home after doing a bit of food shopping and a car drove past with a guy sticking half of his body out the window shouting "sexy, hey sexy!" at me, I a trying to ignore him and he said "come on give us a wave!" Like I am actually going to stand there like an idiot and wave at him.

 

[Wirey]

I thought I would make a thread about every day sexism so we could share our stories when they happen, or past stories.
As someone who has often felt ashamed by harassment, so much so that I couldn't even talk about it, I thought this would be important for some people in the forum to get things off there chest.

So Friday evening (of this week) I was walking home after doing a bit of food shopping and a car drove past with a guy sticking half of his body out the window shouting "sexy, hey sexy!" at me, I a trying to ignore him and he said "come on give us a wave!" Like I am actually going to stand there like an idiot and wave at him.

Personally, I can't believe that didn't work. How did you resist him?

Speaking as a guy, believe me, he probably wasn't trying to harass you. When it comes to hot women, we guys are eternal optimists. He was just hoping you were stupid enough to think attraction equaled love.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Personally, I can't believe that didn't work. How did you resist him?

Speaking as a guy, believe me, he probably wasn't trying to harass you. When it comes to hot women, we guys are eternal optimists. He was just hoping you were stupid enough to think attraction equaled love.

Because shouting at stranger from your car is not harassing?

Yeah he was just an idiot didn't know what he was doing, wasn't aware that I was trying to ignore him, boys will be boys, if I had know all of this I would of chased that car while he would of looked behind laughing at me.

 

[Quintessence]

I can't say I've had an experience like that. I don't dress in a way that would promote it, so that probably goes a long way. Avoiding the parts of town that at certain times of day would have a surplus of drunken undergraduates making morons of themselves also probably has something to do with it.

But at work, we do hire a number of seasonal helpers during peak season. Some of the things I hear come out of their mouths is appalling. There was one guy who was talking about dating, and that dating a lot in high school is important to learn how women think. I turned to him with this look on my face and said something along the lines of: "how women think? We think like individual, human beings." But no, this guy thinks we're categorically different from men and that we all think in certain ways. Although I grant a base level of respect to everyone, there's no faster way to loose my respect than to hold sexist attitudes like that. If you can't treat me like a human being, I want nothing to do with you. This guy went into details of how 'women' supposedly think. It was an appalling lot of rotten nonsense.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Do you think I was dressed in a way that promoted it?

 

[Drolefille]

Do you think I was dressed in a way that promoted it?

The very concept makes me feel ragey.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

The very concept makes me feel ragey.

Once I was wearing boy trousers dm's and a man sized hoodie and this strange guy said I was "the prostitute of the area."

Another time I was wearing the same boy style trousers and a top (not revealing) and this man whispered sexy in my ear as he walked passed me while I was with my boyfriend.

I have also been called a goth hoe by a girl for wearing a short skirt. But in my experience people are going to think whatever they want to.

And if it's a hot day and I want to wear shorts I ain't promoting ******
I don't say anything to guys with their tops off so they can sure leave me the hell alone.

 

[Revoltingest]

Once I was wearing boy trousers dm's and a man sized hoodie and this strange guy said I was "the prostitute of the area."
Another time I was wearing the same boy style trousers and a top (not revealing) and this man whispered sexy in my ear as he walked passed me while I was with my boyfriend.
I have also been called a goth hoe by a girl for wearing a short skirt. But in my experience people are going to think whatever they want to.
And if it's a hot day and I want to wear shorts I ain't promoting ******
I don't say anything to guys with their tops off so they can sure leave me the hell alone.

It hadn't occurred to me before that men & women have made remarks like those to me. (It's true...I was semi-attractive once.) It never affected me other than mild amusement, so these memories got pushed into the dusty corners of my brain. Once I passed 30, the remarks stopped. I sympathize with you, because no one should be made to feel pain by just ambling around in public & suffering such abuse. But for me, those were the good old days.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I was once at a conference not too long ago with local entrepreneurs. I got into a conversation with a couple of men about business. One of them said to me, "I really hope you succeed with your studio, because let's face it. Women owners don't make it very far since they're so emotional and all."

 

[Revoltingest]

I was once at a conference not too long ago with local entrepreneurs. I got into a conversation with a couple of men about business. One of them said to me, "I really hope you succeed with your studio, because let's face it. Women owners don't make it very far since they're so emotional and all."

It's true!
It's also true for men.
I'm curious about your reaction.
Did you employ cat toys, humor, volume, logic, a tossed beverage,
a challenge to compare profit & loss statements, a heel stomp, or haughty laughter?

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

It hadn't occurred to me before that men & women have made remarks like those to me. (It's true...I was semi-attractive once.) It never affected me other than mild amusement, so these memories got pushed into the dusty corners of my brain. Once I passed 30, the remarks stopped. I sympathize with you, because no one should be made to feel pain by just ambling around in public & suffering such abuse. But for me, those were the good old days.

You are a disgusting hoe, provoking sexual attention, with your sexy slutty a**e, you make me sick but I'd F you anyway. Now give us a wave and a tap dance, better yet just bend over, prossie!

Do you feel better?

 

[Revoltingest]

You are a disgusting hoe, provoking sexual attention, with your sexy slutty a**e, you make me sick but I'd F you anyway. Now give us a wave and a tap dance, better yet just bend over, prossie!
Do you feel better?

Hmmm....no. The remarks I experienced were friendlier.
Again, one should not suffer language like that.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I was once at a conference not too long ago with local entrepreneurs. I got into a conversation with a couple of men about business. One of them said to me, "I really hope you succeed with your studio, because let's face it. Women owners don't make it very far since they're so emotional and all."

Yes we are a bunch of loonies! All it takes is a broken finger nail and we are having an mental break down.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Hmmm....no. The remarks I experienced were friendlier.
Again, one should not suffer language like that.

Then why even compare the two in the first place?

 

[Revoltingest]

Yes we are a bunch of loonies! All it takes is a broken finger nail and we are having an mental break down.

Tis a burden we guys share. When I suffer a nail malfunction, I can think
of nothing else until I get to my nail care tools & fix the darned thing.

 

[Revoltingest]

Then why even compare the two in the first place?

I point out how good it is of you to broach the subject, because such things so easily go unnoticed. I'm more aware of my insensitivity to what I experienced. In case you thought so, I did not intend to dismiss your concerns. What guys would find innocuous, gals might not, so we should be aware of the effects of what we say to one another.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

It's true!
It's also true for men.
I'm curious about your reaction.
Did you employ cat toys, humor, volume, logic, a tossed beverage,
a challenge to compare profit & loss statements, a heel stomp, or haughty laughter?

I raised my eyebrows and said, "Did you really just say that?"

There was another business owner (not at the same conference) who at a luncheon said, "The key to our success is that I stock my business with hot moms."

I did the same thing. I stared for a few seconds not believing what I heard, and then asked "You stock your business with hot moms?"

He said, "Yeah. I do."

Me: "Did you really just say that? Seriously? Are you joking?"

Him: "Yeah. What's your deal?"

Me:

.

.

.

I only employ cat-toy-throwing responses to old curmudgeons I actually like.

 

[dawny0826]

Do you think I was dressed in a way that promoted it?

How can anyone answer as to what promoted the behavior of these guys?

It doesn't matter how you dress, no one has the right to harass or harm you. Admittedly, I liken what you've described to immaturity more than I do sexism and harassment, but, I'm not arrogant enough to tell you how you felt standing there on the sidewalk.

If you felt harassed by their behavior, then there you go.

People do stupid things. You don't know WHY this dude and his cronies acted as they did.

I am fortunate in that I don't deal with sexism. I work in an environemnt where both men and women are in positions of authority and have to work as a team to keep our organization moving fluidly.

I've had men call out to me and say "hey baby" from their cars and in the grocery store. I don't pay them any mind and have rolled my car window up and turned up the radio on numerous occasions, when idiots have talked or yelled at me from surrounding cars.

 

[Revoltingest]

I raised my eyebrows and said, "Did you really just say that?"

Now, don't take it the wrong way, but it reminds me of this (at the 25 second mark)....
[youtube]o-r4Z1K_LDc[/youtube]
Maxwell the GEICO Pig is on a plane - Brand New GEICO Piggy commercial - YouTube

I only employ cat-toy-throwing responses to old curmudgeons I actually like.

Lucky me!

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Now, don't take it the wrong way, but it reminds me of this (at the 25 second mark)....
[youtube]o-r4Z1K_LDc[/youtube]
Maxwell the GEICO Pig is on a plane - Brand New GEICO Piggy commercial - YouTube

LOL! That was pretty much my reaction! Wonderful parallel!!