@CogentPhilosopher and
@Alison Wonderland...here's my take...
that tension between you two...that's sexual
the male/female insults you throw at each other as a result...that's gender
On the science and sex/gender...etc. thing...both homosexuality and gender-bending (is that a PC term? - not that I care much) are ubiquitous in the natural world. Many animals, from guinea pigs to giraffes (giraffes are decidedly gay it seems), have been observed to engage in homosexual behaviour, including all of these:
Human culture often makes the mistake of forcing gender based on sex - the natural world does not do this. E.g. if you keep chickens and say your rooster pops his clogs - one of the hens will, quite naturally, take on that gender role and stop laying. If a new rooster is brought in, she will revert, quite naturally, to her original role.
Point is, I reckon we are whatever we are sexually - and we are all variations of mixed gender which mix itself can change over time - some find their gender psychologically so opposed to their physical sexual characteristics that they feel the need to change their sex, and since we have the nip and tuck technology to do a sex change and no safe and reliable way to change a person's gender psychology, I see absolutely no reason why we shouldn't do it or why that should be a problem to anyone else.
I sincerely hope this helps - from a perfectly normal slightly gender-confused 50-something grandfather.