And the *best* description is to use the proper time, which is 0. For any observer going slower than light (any actual observer, that is), the proper time gives the 'experienced time' for that trip. This may well differ from what *other* observers measure to be the time of the trip.
And yes, distances *actually* differ depending on the reference frame.
Now, hopefully this won't confuse you more, but here goes. For any two events A and B, there are three options: 1) there is a reference frame when they happen at the same time, 2) there is a reference frame where they happen in the same location, 3) it is possible for light to go from one to the other.
Remember that an event happens at both a location and a time. So, one event might be 'light was emitted from a device on the earth'. Another event might be 'a flare erupted on a star'. Or, perhaps, 'this ship passed by that planet'. These all happen at some location and at some time. They are events.
For any two events that an *actual* observer can go between, it is the second possibility that is the case. In that case, the proper time (as experienced by an observer in uniform motion)is the time as measured in the frame at which the two events occur in the same location.
So, one event might be that someone picks up a ball in New York at 12:00 noon on Tuesday, while another might be that someone else eats a hamburger in Paris an hour later (please adjust for time zones). In the reference frame of the earth, these two events happen in different locations and at different times. BUT, there *is* a reference frame in which they happen *in the same location*. That reference frame is the one that moves at uniform speed from the event in NY to the event in Paris. Since that motion is uniform, the observer doing that motion can think of themselves at rest, and thereby the two events happen in the location of that observer: the same location in that frame. The proper time between those events is the time as experienced by that 'moving' observer. Notice that this motion is slower than light.
If light can go from one event to the other, the proper time between those two events is 0.
The curious type is when two events are NOT such that you can go between them at a speed at or below that of light.
So, as an example, suppose from the reference frame of the earth, we have an event happening in NY at 12 noon. Suppose the other event is something on the sun that happens at 12:05 according to the earth's reference frame. Since the sun is 500 light seconds from the earth (earth's frame), it is impossible for light or anything slower to go between those two events. What that means is that there is *some* reference frame where those two events are simultaneous: they happen at the same time in that reference frame. In this case (and not the two other cases), we can talk about a 'proper distance', which is the distance between those two events in the frame where they are simultaneous.
The problem is that there is NO situation where both 'proper time' and 'proper distance' are both defined. So you can *never* use those to determine and speeds.