I do not believe that you can you get what you want spiritually by reading alone. Let it be known that this comes from a Philosophy major, and all we do is read and talk. But to find and cultivate the depth of one's own spirituality, we have to be willing to break away from dogmatic conceptualizations and directly experience our own soul. We have to be willing to recognize existing belief systems as simply discursive and guiding frameworks that aid in communication. Deep and lasting spiritual fulfillment cannot come, however, when one has deidentified one's beliefs into that of a larger group or movement: we have to strike out individually with a community that serves as personal support, not as a justifying or validating agent. This is why the mystical hermits go sit in caves listening to water dropping for decades.
If you wish to realize and actualize your own spiritual self (or no[t]-self, as the case may be), read and understand, yes, but also spend time directly cultivating your spirituality in meditation (which requires no specific structure, you choose your own meditative style, although I'm sure people here will be willing to advise from their own experiences if you just don't know where to begin).
Remember that no matter what language you end up using to describe your belief structure, absolute truth is beyond the scope of language (this is a non-mystical fact, mathematically and logically derivable: see Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus for the most famous argument). The words themselves can blind, confuse, and limit us. Be willing to flow beyond the space of words, ideas, and doctrine.
Fear nothing, and love everything, and you will find your Way.