Very, i spent my younger life as a failure then i discovered winning and i liked it.
Determination, it works for me
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Self Awareness
- Thread starter JustGeorge
- Start date
Very, i spent my younger life as a failure then i discovered winning and i liked it.
Determination, it works for me
'Stuff' can be a lot of work.
Ideally. I find some crave that pat on the back.
Good point.
Vannakkam Just George, I hope the collection of Goddesses are treating you well on this last day of Navaratri.
Although I think it a rather difficult task to have an honest look at yourself, and I'm most likely a moron in other peoples' eyes, in my eyes, as honestly as I can tell, I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum, as I have will, and use it to get things done. There have been some techniques that I've found useful over the years. One is affirmations, and the first one I really benefitted from was 'I will be what I will to be." So it means if you decide to do something you do it. It also means you don't decide to do unrealistic things, so there has to be some wisdom put into the decision. I'm much better on the bigger things, in my eyes, like sadhana. Quite honestly, I do sadhana 365 days of the year, including while travelling. On the garland project I have going, I(we) delivered fresh garlands to koyil every Friday over the last 2 years or so (since I got told to 'do something') , except for while on pilgrimage, when we got a friend to cover here, while we still made garlands nd delivered them to another temple. I'm not saying this to brag, but just to convince you that stuff is indeed possible. I know a few people who get a lot more done that I do. I think one of the challenges for a lot of people is just overcoming the 'I can't' mentality that lies residual in the subconscious. (Certainly my Guru's teachings on the nature of the mind has been beneficial to me, and it's not something you find that often in Hinduism.)
As for procrastination, I really like to declutter my mind, and free it up for better uses like creativity. So I rarely procrastinate, as that just keeps another detail in there. If I get a bill in the physical mailbox, I just come home and pay it immediately. That gets it out of the mind. We planned a pilgrimage in March, and everything is booked, so I don't need to think about it until about 2 days before when we pack. The net result is feeling so much better, and less logged up mentally.
Have a great day. "Observation is increased with the absence of excessive talk."
Although I think it a rather difficult task to have an honest look at yourself, and I'm most likely a moron in other peoples' eyes, in my eyes, as honestly as I can tell, I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum, as I have will, and use it to get things done. There have been some techniques that I've found useful over the years. One is affirmations, and the first one I really benefitted from was 'I will be what I will to be." So it means if you decide to do something you do it. It also means you don't decide to do unrealistic things, so there has to be some wisdom put into the decision. I'm much better on the bigger things, in my eyes, like sadhana. Quite honestly, I do sadhana 365 days of the year, including while travelling. On the garland project I have going, I(we) delivered fresh garlands to koyil every Friday over the last 2 years or so (since I got told to 'do something') , except for while on pilgrimage, when we got a friend to cover here, while we still made garlands nd delivered them to another temple. I'm not saying this to brag, but just to convince you that stuff is indeed possible. I know a few people who get a lot more done that I do. I think one of the challenges for a lot of people is just overcoming the 'I can't' mentality that lies residual in the subconscious. (Certainly my Guru's teachings on the nature of the mind has been beneficial to me, and it's not something you find that often in Hinduism.)
As for procrastination, I really like to declutter my mind, and free it up for better uses like creativity. So I rarely procrastinate, as that just keeps another detail in there. If I get a bill in the physical mailbox, I just come home and pay it immediately. That gets it out of the mind. We planned a pilgrimage in March, and everything is booked, so I don't need to think about it until about 2 days before when we pack. The net result is feeling so much better, and less logged up mentally.
Have a great day. "Observation is increased with the absence of excessive talk."
Thank you! The same to you!
Good advice. I would think what's realistic/unrealistic varies greatly from person to person as well, also requiring a person to think on it.
I think if someone had told me what I'd be doing now ten years ago, I'd have said "I can't".
I also feel not feeling there's an option for failure helps.
Ah, procrastination... That's a hurdle for another day.
Secret Chief
Very strong language
I mustn't have got that memo! This whole idea means nothing to me and never has.
Coming in a bit late, as usual
Yes. It's been said by many but here's one version by Rashi - (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki)
"The less gratitude you receive for doing a kind act, the greater the value of the act. True kindness is when we do not receive anything in return for what we do."
Public acclaim can inflate our egos and become an addiction of looking for more and more public acclaim. It's better to make personal strides and avoid that trap.
Amen, amen and amen.
That's an interesting question. Looking back, I would rate my self-awareness as slightly better than a rock at one point. It started to change when I decided to become a therapist which for us involved a lot of working on self-awareness in one way and another. That self-awareness came with awareness of other people's feelings.
Yes. It's been said by many but here's one version by Rashi - (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki)
"The less gratitude you receive for doing a kind act, the greater the value of the act. True kindness is when we do not receive anything in return for what we do."
Public acclaim can inflate our egos and become an addiction of looking for more and more public acclaim. It's better to make personal strides and avoid that trap.
Heyo
Veteran Member
You are not the first to utter this nonsense, so don't take it personal that I answer your post to attack the position.
While "Public acclaim can inflate our egos and become an addiction", it is also a great tool to evaluate our position. Not caring about the opinion of others is a way into self-righteousness and thereby detrimental to self awareness. You don't have to strive for acclaim and only do what others expect from you but you should at least be aware of the common values of your community. Taking acclaim and critique to heart and at least ponder them gives you independent insight. You may not agree with the values of your community and consciously choose others but be aware of that fact.
So, when you do "an act of kindness" and it is not appreciated, it may not have been kind at all.
I think there's some difference between an act of kindness in which a person meant well but it wasn't acknowledged, and an act of kindness that really wasn't so kind.
Like the difference between an anonymous donation to a food bank, and 'free meals' that are given if one converts to their religious institution.
The original question include "great personal strides and discoveries that aren't publicly rewarded or recognized," Feedback was not part of that question. So you responded to a point I did not make.
It's not about spurning public acclaim. And it's not about self-righteousness. It's a matter of acting in line with one's dharma. A dhamric action is just that. If I do a dharmic action just for the validation of others, then I'm nothing more than a performer on a stage seeking applause and good review. That validation or praise from others is temporary. The karmic value remains.
If I donate money, I do it anonymously. No one needs to know I made the donation. At the end of the day, all that matters is that the donation was made. A pat on the back for such an action doesn't improve the recipient's cause. It only satiates one's own ego. As I see it, that pat on the back is more conducive to self-righteousness than is the satisfaction in knowing you helped another.
This applies to acts done to overcome one's own obstacles or barriers in one's life as well.
Finally, attacking positions is probably an action best left for debate forums.
I find it amazing how one word so reflects a difference in paradigms ... dharma. (I give anonymously as well, and I try to work inconspicuously. Not always possible.)It's not about spurning public acclaim. And it's not about self-righteousness. It's a matter of acting in line with one's dharma. A dhamric action is just that. If I do a dharmic action just for the validation of others, then I'm nothing more than a performer on a stage seeking applause and good review. That validation or praise from others is temporary. The karmic value remains.
If I donate money, I do it anonymously. No one needs to know I made the donation. At the end of the day, all that matters is that the donation was made. A pat on the back for such an action doesn't improve the recipient's cause. It only satiates one's own ego. As I see it, that pat on the back is more conducive to self-righteousness than is the satisfaction in knowing you helped another.
This applies to acts done to overcome one's own obstacles or barriers in one's life as well.
Finally, attacking positions is probably an action best left for debate forums.
Alien826
No religious beliefs
Guilt is such a destructive thing. I'd say, if you can make whatever you did "right", then do it. If not, try to forgive yourself and determine not to do whatever it was again.
There's one example that some may disagree with. That's confession in order to feel better. I'm not talking about the RC type of confession. Let's say you had a brief fling with someone in a hotel. You regret it, but realize that the probability of it ever coming to light is very small. Nevertheless, you continue to feel bad about it. You decide to relieve the guilt by telling your partner about it and asking for forgiveness. DON"T do it! S/he will be much happier never knowing about it. Resolve never to repeat the "offense" and deal with the guilt yourself. (This is the plot of many a movie on the Hallmark channel. It usually works out well there because the characters have the script writers on their side.)
As far as time well spent, I would say it lies with the individual. As to making something of one's self... I think its all a bunch of nonsense.
Yes, it's individually determined. I'm not so sure that making something of oneself is totally nonsense. Seeking self improvement is fine, just set realistic goals for yourself and ignore what the world thinks you should be.
That is something I often caution people on who want to 'confess' something. Sometimes its absolutely the right thing to do. Others, nothing will be gained from it, only people hurt. I would say it depends on the circumstances, and the people involved.
I think self improvement and "making something of oneself" in the way its classically used are different things.
Alien826
No religious beliefs
It depends.
If you mean "checking in" with public opinion on things as well as consulting my own feelings, then OK. On the other hand, most advances are made by people that do ignore the opinions of the majority. If a person wanted public acclaim in Nazi Germany a good way to get it would be to be very good at beating up Jews. You didn't mean that? Fair enough, but in the end we need some yardstick to measure our actions by, and public opinion is notoriously unreliable. And personal feelings aren't that reliable either? Agreed. So what to do?
I don't have a universally reliable suggestion, except to come to a personal morality that is soundly based on some universal principle, like not causing unnecessary harm to others. Then measure proposed actions against that, while remembering that the results of our actions may not be easily predictable. And always learn from experience. If that is self righteousness, then so be it, but suggest something better.
(I just reread your post and I may be agreeing with you.)
Heyo
Veteran Member
I think we are in total agreement.
I wasn't saying that one should base one's core values on public opinion. It's more about the soft values. E.g. how much lying is accepted or expected. That pretty much depends on the society and even the group you're in. My friends expect honesty while in "polite company" the same words would be considered extremely rude.