Should An LDS Member Turn Down A Calling?

[SoyLeche]

How do the members know you turned down a calling?

The president and councilors of the organization that was asking for you would know.

 

[Bishka]

Bishka, because you will not work in the nursery you will burn in Hell. Then you will hang in the Telestial Kingdom with the Vlad the Impaler

My favourite calling is with the children.

I'd take nursery over Gospel Doctrine any day.

 

[nutshell]

The president and councilors of the organization that was asking for you would know.

She stated it wasn't the Bishop giving her a hard time it was "the members." I take that to mean it was outside the Bishopric and or leadership. She can clarify the situation for us.

 

[Bishka]

How do the members know you turned down a calling?

Sometimes in conversation people would say past callings that they had gotten and sometimes I would chime in and say I was called but I did not feel comfortable in the calling.

 

[SoyLeche]

She stated it wasn't the Bishop giving her a hard time it was "the members." I take that to mean it was outside the Bishopric and or leadership. She can clarify the situation for us.

I know, she's already answered - but I was getting at: The leadership of the organizations are "members". They are also married to members and friends with members. Sometimes people talk.

I carpool with my bishop. He's good about keeping things quiet that should be kept quiet, and I don't try to pry. I could see a situation where something could slip though, and then get out.

 

[nutshell]

Sometimes in conversation people would say past callings that they had gotten and sometimes I would chime in and say I was called but I did not feel comfortable in the calling.

If that's the case, it seems the power to control the harassment from other members is within your own control.

 

[nutshell]

I know, she's already answered - but I was getting at: The leadership of the organizations are "members". They are also married to members and friends with members. Sometimes people talk.

I carpool with my bishop. He's good about keeping things quiet that should be kept quiet, and I don't try to pry. I could see a situation where something could slip though, and then get out.

Yes. Good points.

As secretary in the Elder's Q a few years back, I learned that a certain member who was attending church had been excommunicated. It's been a challenge, but to this day I've never told anyone, including my wife. The EQ Pres would have kept it quiet, but I recommended the person for a calling and the Pres felt it was best to tell me.

 

[Starfish]

I know, she's already answered - but I was getting at: The leadership of the organizations are "members". They are also married to members and friends with members. Sometimes people talk.

I carpool with my bishop. He's good about keeping things quiet that should be kept quiet, and I don't try to pry. I could see a situation where something could slip though, and then get out.

People turn down callings all the time. It's not uncommon. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it's likely that less are being judgemental than it seems.

 

[SoyLeche]

People turn down callings all the time. It's not uncommon. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it's likely that less are being judgemental than it seems.

Becky was talking about her experience.

Nutshell asked how her experience could have happened.

I provided a plausible (although in this case wrong) possibility.

I don't think anyone has said that it is overly common.

 

[Starfish]

As secretary in the Elder's Q a few years back, I learned that a certain member who was attending church had been excommunicated. It's been a challenge, but to this day I've never told anyone, including my wife. The EQ Pres would have kept it quiet, but I recommended the person for a calling and the Pres felt it was best to tell me.

I completely understand the need for confidentiality, especially in this situation. But it's awkward when you don't know and you put them in an embarrassing situation, without realizing it. (Like asking them to teach a lesson or give a prayer and they have to decline.) Anyway, sometimes I wish I knew so that I could avoid such moments. But, not sure how to solve that one.

Here's another awkward situation: When a young man is involved in the repentance process and has been temporarily taken off the eligible-to-pass-the-sacrament list. But his friends don't know and hound him about getting up there and helping. The deacon's or priest's private repentance can so easily become public knowledge because their non-participation is so noticable, much to his embarrassment. The girls don't have to endure this. If I were him, I'd want to stay home.

Sorry, I got off topic.

 

[Katzpur]

Here's another awkward situation: When a young man is involved in the repentance process and has been temporarily taken off the eligible-to-pass-the-sacrament list. But his friends don't know and hound him about getting up there and helping. The deacon's or priest's private repentance can so easily become public knowledge because their non-participation is so noticable, much to his embarrassment. The girls don't have to endure this. If I were him, I'd want to stay home.

Good point! I'd never thought about that. That would be really, really difficult.

 

[SoyLeche]

Good point! I'd never thought about that. That would be really, really difficult.

When you are passing the sacrament you notice, whether you want to or not, who is and isn't taking it...

 

[SoyLeche]

Anyway, sometimes I wish I knew so that I could avoid such moments. But, not sure how to solve that one.

The easiest way is to not single people out by asking them directly, but asking for a volunteer instead. That isn't always ideal.

You could always set up who was going to say the prayers before hand, talking privately with the person you are asking.

 

[Starfish]

Good point! I'd never thought about that. That would be really, really difficult.

Probably most all of them have gone through this at one time or other. I raised 3 sons and it happened with them all. I just am grateful they felt the need to confide with their bishop. I admire the courage to do this. There are probably many young men passing unworthily because they lack the courage and maybe at times my boys fell into this group as well.
I suggested that he come late or maybe wear a colored shirt since in our ward they are stickler for white shirts when passing. But it was hard.

(Any non-LDS reading this must be wondering what the heck we're talking about.)

 

[nutshell]

Here's another awkward situation: When a young man is involved in the repentance process and has been temporarily taken off the eligible-to-pass-the-sacrament list. But his friends don't know and hound him about getting up there and helping. The deacon's or priest's private repentance can so easily become public knowledge because their non-participation is so noticable, much to his embarrassment. The girls don't have to endure this. If I were him, I'd want to stay home.

Good post. This happened to me too. When I was a priest I was getting tired of being the one to bless the sacrament every week - there were other priests who would refuse to come up with me. I expressed my frustration to the bishop one day and he told me to lay off because if people were refusing to bless the sacrament then there was probably a good reason for. He specifically said "they may not be or feel worthy."

 

[Starfish]

When you are passing the sacrament you notice, whether you want to or not, who is and isn't taking it...

The next time I notice this, I'm hopefully going to think about that person's courage to do the right thing.

 

[nutshell]

When I was a Deacon the Bishop refused sacrament once. It was awkward because I went to him and everyone was waiting for the presiding priesthood to take the bread. BEcause I didn't get it, the first counselor quickly reached over and grabbed a piece.

 

[Katzpur]

Probably most all of them have gone through this at one time or other. I raised 3 sons and it happened with them all. I just am grateful they felt the need to confide with their bishop. I admire the courage to do this.

It happened to my daughter, too. She talked to the bishop once and he set up a second follow-up appointment. Then he spaced it. He never called her back or apologized for forgetting. She has since become inactive. I'm not blaming the bishop for her decisions, but he sure dropped the ball when it came to dealing with the situation.

 

[Starfish]

It happened to my daughter, too. She talked to the bishop once and he set up a second follow-up appointment. Then he spaced it. He never called her back or apologized for forgetting. She has since become inactive. I'm not blaming the bishop for her decisions, but he sure dropped the ball when it came to dealing with the situation.

That's so sad. Why didn't she call him?

 

[Katzpur]

That's so sad. Why didn't she call him?

She didn't call him because she'd already made the first move. She'd taken the first step and confessed her transgression to him. She showed up on time for the follow-up appointment and waited at the Church until it was clear he wasn't coming. I don't feel it was her place to call him.