Should I leave this forum?

[YoursTrue]

Thanks. I'm having a grilled cheese on fancy bread.

ooo I like that!

 

[Whateverist]

Depends on how it is working for you. Should I? Not much is holding me and I’m more invested elsewhere. But I like that all kinds are here and neither the fundy Christians nor the fundy atheists rule the roost. The variety and number of ‘other’ is also a plus.

I’ll be ignoring the question.

 

[anna.]

I find these threads complicated and have some reservations about them. Which could be one of the reasons I didn't respond to this thread when it was "newer". For example, I have noticed that some people seem to have a bone to pick with @Saint Frankenstein in some threads, but when they seem to try to confront the forum about these issues, no one really wants to address them. They just seem to want to talk about the person in an overwhelmingly positive way, in which it may be nice to receive praise, but it may also be confusing. I hope these things confuse Saint Frankenstein less than they would confuse me if I were in the same position.

Given the time that has gone on since this thread, I may be missing some form of context. But, rather than this thread making me want to say "Good for you on reassuring a member", it makes me want to close up emotionally myself.

If I am wrong here, or if it just looks like I'm stirring the pot, I apologize. I had kind of a rough day, so I may have a different perspective than usual. Tomorrow, I will likely be a bit more pleasant, and less judgemental, and back to my "pie-in-the-sky" thoughts and philosophical thinking. But there comes a point where, sometimes, you just have to point out your thoughts, it makes a good part of reflection, and it gives people a chance to respond whether they think you are correct or incorrect, rational or irrational.

I saw this thread when it was new and voted no, but without comment. I do want to answer your post though. It seems there are a lot of people who are quite willing to like/appreciate/care about a person without necessarily agreeing with them on much of anything. And that's a great way to keep a forum alive. We need people with different viewpoints and beliefs because without those differences it would be hard to have productive and interesting (and entertaining) conversations. We need to remember there's a person behind the avatar, and sometimes we need reminding. Maybe that's what I'm seeing though, while it might be hitting you quite differently. For what it's worth, I see you as authentic, as willing to share your truth regardless, and I appreciate that about you.

 

[YmirGF]

Since a lot of you can't stand me here, vote me off and I'll stop logging in! The poll is anonymous, and I'm not going to reply to anything in this thread. I don't care anymore.

Never give in to the haters. You have an interesting viewpoint that needs to be heard.

 

[fantome profane]

Thanks. I'm having a grilled cheese on fancy bread.

Don't bury the lead. What kind of cheese?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I find these threads complicated and have some reservations about them. Which could be one of the reasons I didn't respond to this thread when it was "newer". For example, I have noticed that some people seem to have a bone to pick with @Saint Frankenstein in some threads, but when they seem to try to confront the forum about these issues, no one really wants to address them. They just seem to want to talk about the person in an overwhelmingly positive way, in which it may be nice to receive praise, but it may also be confusing. I hope these things confuse Saint Frankenstein less than they would confuse me if I were in the same position.

Given the time that has gone on since this thread, I may be missing some form of context. But, rather than this thread making me want to say "Good for you on reassuring a member", it makes me want to close up emotionally myself.

If I am wrong here, or if it just looks like I'm stirring the pot, I apologize. I had kind of a rough day, so I may have a different perspective than usual. Tomorrow, I will likely be a bit more pleasant, and less judgemental, and back to my "pie-in-the-sky" thoughts and philosophical thinking. But there comes a point where, sometimes, you just have to point out your thoughts, it makes a good part of reflection, and it gives people a chance to respond whether they think you are correct or incorrect, rational or irrational.

Honestly, I made this thread because I was depressed at the time and wanted to gauge how many haters I had here. It was a mood specific to the time I made the thread. The poll is closed and I meant for this thread to die. I didn't think anyone would bring it up again.

I had a bad night and bad day, myself, and have been mad for the past two days.

 

[JustGeorge]

I had a bad night and bad day, myself, and have been mad for the past two days.

Sorry to hear that.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I saw this thread when it was new and voted no, but without comment. I do want to answer your post though. It seems there are a lot of people who are quite willing to like/appreciate/care about a person without necessarily agreeing with them on much of anything. And that's a great way to keep a forum alive. We need people with different viewpoints and beliefs because without those differences it would be hard to have productive and interesting (and entertaining) conversations. We need to remember there's a person behind the avatar, and sometimes we need reminding. Maybe that's what I'm seeing though, while it might be hitting you quite differently. For what it's worth, I see you as authentic, as willing to share your truth regardless, and I appreciate that about you.

I think it's good that people have good things to say about each other.

I just had concerns, kind of, that if a person gets rough-housed in one thread, then gets praised in another, it may give the appearance of gaslighting. I was trying to relay what it would probably do for me.

 

[JustGeorge]

I think it's good that people have good things to say about each other.

I just had concerns, kind of, that if a person gets rough-housed in one thread, then gets praised in another, it may give the appearance of gaslighting. I was trying to relay what it would probably do for me.

I don't know. I might genuinely dislike a view a person has, and get feisty with the debate of that idea. Doesn't mean I don't like the person, though.

 

[Rachel Rugelach]

Honestly, I made this thread because I was depressed at the time and wanted to gauge how many haters I had here. It was a mood specific to the time I made the thread. The poll is closed and I meant for this thread to die. I didn't think anyone would bring it up again.

I had a bad night and bad day, myself, and have been mad for the past two days.

I hope things are going better for you now. I'm glad that you don't have haters here and, if the poll cheered you up when you very badly needed cheering up, then that's cool.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

You're the only one who can answer that, but add another to those who don't think you should go. It's dated, but you got my 2 cents anyways.

 

[Subduction Zone]

Thanks. I'm having a grilled cheese on fancy bread.

Sounds good. I am making arroz con pollo. The second time around. The first time both the housemate and I were not too fond of skin on chicken. So I skinned them. They are still bone in. That adds a layer of flavor that broth cannot match. Oh, and instead of a cup of rice I upped it by a half of a cup. And a jalapeno. How did that get in there?

We Won't Blame You For Eating This Arroz Con Pollo Straight Out Of The Pan

It never disappoints.

www.delish.com

 

[Subduction Zone]

Never give in to the haters. You have an interesting viewpoint that needs to be heard.

I had to check the poll. Only 2 out of 46 said "Leave". So it looks like the haters are far and few between. Maybe he conflated people that disagree with him all of the time, like me, with those that want him gone, not me.

 

[InChrist]

Since a lot of you can't stand me here, vote me off and I'll stop logging in! The poll is anonymous, and I'm not going to reply to anything in this thread. I don't care anymore.

I’d say it’s up to you whether you want to continue here or not, who cares what others think or if some can’t stand you. They are probably the ones that most need to see your honest, no nonsense posts.
I definitely appreciate everything you post and probably agree with 90% or more.


…Just realized this thread is a bit old and the poll is closed. My thoughts thoughts and appreciation remain.

 

[Debater Slayer]

I think it's good that people have good things to say about each other.

I just had concerns, kind of, that if a person gets rough-housed in one thread, then gets praised in another, it may give the appearance of gaslighting. I was trying to relay what it would probably do for me.

I don't know. I might genuinely dislike a view a person has, and get feisty with the debate of that idea. Doesn't mean I don't like the person, though.

What @JustGeorge said. I view members as much more than any individual opinions they express in a given thread. On a forum specifically made for debating hot-button issues like religion and politics, I think it's especially important to remember that other members are a lot more than words on a screen.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

What @JustGeorge said. I view members as much more than any individual opinions they express in a given thread. On a forum specifically made for debating hot-button issues like religion and politics, I think it's especially important to remember that other members are a lot more than words on a screen.

I think that's a good way of looking at it.

I think there are some complications in looking at it that way too, though. For example, a member may have a bad experience, then want to lightly vent. In such a case, being told that the forum loves them, may actually make them feel worse, or seem like their experiences are invalidated.

Which, luckily, may not be the case here.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Maybe that's what I'm seeing though, while it might be hitting you quite differently.

I think my understanding of the thread just wasn't nuanced enough yesterday. I think what people were saying was pretty much, "I may disagree with a poster, but I don't hate them or want them to leave."

Since I'm someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, I process these things a bit differently. I process things in a more real-time way, where I look at consistency, and I don't really look at the depth of it. I process things where if I see a person say they like someone, but then give them a hard time in another thread, then I interpret it as them liking them, but not respecting them.

These thoughts don't really work in the scope of RF, though. And I'm learning that. Such ideas of mine don't work any more than, for example, if I assumed most of RF very strongly believed in free will. I think the important thing, going forward, is myself not casting moral judgements on people who may have a different paradigm of ethics than me.

In any case, this thread has given me a chance to reflect.

 

[anna.]

I think my understanding of the thread just wasn't nuanced enough yesterday. I think what people were saying was pretty much, "I may disagree with a poster, but I don't hate them or want them to leave."

Since I'm someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, I process these things a bit differently. I process things in a more real-time way, where I look at consistency, and I don't really look at the depth of it. I process things where if I see a person say they like someone, but then give them a hard time in another thread, then I interpret it as them liking them, but not respecting them.

These thoughts don't really work in the scope of RF, though. And I'm learning that. Such ideas of mine don't work any more than, for example, if I assumed most of RF very strongly believed in free will. I think the important thing, going forward, is myself not casting moral judgements on people who may have a different paradigm of ethics than me.

In any case, this thread has given me a chance to reflect.

It helps to see things from another's point of view so I appreciate you sharing yours. If it helps any, I'll share mine if you don't mind?

I don't interpret liking someone but giving them a hard time as not respecting them, rather just energetically disagreeing with them. (Stressing here that's just me, and understand it's a different interpretation than yours.) I don't see it as a matter of ethics, just a difference in how everyone relates to others in their own style. Some people get mad easily and get over it easily and the next conversation with their counterpart gets on as usual. Some hold a grudge and never forget something someone said once and it lurks in the background ever after. I'm kinda like that, unfortunately. At times, my ability to remember verbatim a phrase or a sentence for a long time makes it difficult to alter my impression of the person who said it or allow for the mitigating circumstances that might have prompted it.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

It helps to see things from another's point of view so I appreciate you sharing yours. If it helps any, I'll share mine if you don't mind?

I don't interpret liking someone but giving them a hard time as not respecting them, rather just energetically disagreeing with them. (Stressing here that's just me, and understand it's a different interpretation than yours.) I don't see it as a matter of ethics, just a difference in how everyone relates to others in their own style. Some people get mad easily and get over it easily and the next conversation with their counterpart gets on as usual. Some hold a grudge and never forget something someone said once and it lurks in the background ever after. I'm kinda like that, unfortunately. At times, my ability to remember verbatim a phrase or a sentence for a long time makes it difficult to alter my impression of the person who said it or allow for the mitigating circumstances that might have prompted it.

Thanks for sharing.

I'd say that my mind is a bit complicated. It's possible I have below-average Emotional Intelligence in general, although I'm trying in that area. And I have an IQ that's around 160, but probably realistically in the 150-170 range, and rather than think really complex thoughts, I tend to think little ones but think lots of them at once, and see how they connect. If I were a computer, one might describe this as parallel processing. But since I'm not, I don't know the term for it.

Because of the way I think, I may have the tendency to at times, oversimplify things. Even if I can sometimes think the bigger, more complex picture from smaller thoughts, as well

 

[lewisnotmiller]

The first time both the housemate and I were not too fond of skin on chicken. So I skinned them.

That sounds a little extreme. Surely your housemate is entitled to their opinion? I mean, they were agreeing with you, for goodness sake! What do you do to people who disagree?!?!