Should we teach kids that our beliefs are true?

[Dan Mellis]

So I aim to raise my children as free thinkers - I don't intend to share my theoligical position with them in case it colours their own thinking. I raise them with secular values (everyone deserves respect, sexual orientation doesn't matter, slavery is wrong etc) but as far as any god belief goes I won't go into it with them.

My question is for both atheists and theists. If your position is logical, and you raise them to be critical thinkers, they should reach the same conclusion as you. If your position is religious, god should surely show them the light... why do we feel it's so important for our kids to believe the same things as us? If we raise them with the values that we believe to be good, shouldn't that be enough?

God belief isnt a value, its a belief ... just before anyone starts with that stuff

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Most people, parents included, are irrational.

 

[Augustus]

I raise them with secular values (everyone deserves respect, sexual orientation doesn't matter, slavery is wrong etc) but as far as any god belief goes I won't go into it with them.

This isn't a neutral stance though, it's teaching them your values same as a religious person teaching them to be a Hindu, Buddhist or whatever.

People are going to raise their kids with their own values, not sure there is any way around this.

My question is for both atheists and theists. If your position is logical, and you raise them to be critical thinkers, they should reach the same conclusion as you.

I don't agree with this at all.

Most conclusions rely on value judgements that derive from accepting certain subjective axioms. Someone who thinks critically and is rational (well as rational as they can be given our irrational nature) can arrive at completely different positions based on the axioms they use for their reasoning.

Educating a child with your values increases the likelihood they will arrive at similar conclusions, but, seeing as your beliefs are not objectively true, there is no reason why they must necessarily agree.

For example, many liberal minded people find a lot of the current 'woke' left agenda to be ridiculous, yet many of their kids will be 'true believers'.

 

[Stanyon]

Raise them according to your values and what you think will be beneficial to them. When they get older they will decide for themselves, if you don't do it someone else will.
My kids are in their upper thirties and doing just fine.

 

[An Dà Shealladh]

In my opinion, forcing your religious beliefs on any child is wrong. People tend to do so anyways because they think their beliefs are right.

 

[Mock Turtle]

In my view, one should try to encourage children to think for themselves, gathering the best information at their disposal in the process (not easy), but, as @Augustus has pointed out, it is very difficult not to influence one's own children by one's own beliefs and/or behaviour. Perhaps the removal of children at birth to a suitable commune dedicated to such a task might solve the problem.

 

[dybmh]

Before answering your question: I hope my kids turn out better than me; so if that includes abandoning my beliefs for something better, I encourage it.

why do [some people] feel it's so important for our kids to believe the same things as us?

At its core, I think it's a fear of death / desire to leave a legacy. They want their kids to be a continuation of themselves.

 

[Valjean]

You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned raising them to be critical thinkers. Teach them how to think, how to analyze data logically, and let them draw their own conclusions.

 

[joe1776]

So I aim to raise my children as free thinkers - I don't intend to share my theoligical position with them in case it colours their own thinking...

That's a good plan. The attempt to indoctrinate them while young is morally wrong because it's an attempt to rob them of their free will choice as discerning adults.

Since the schools won't do it, I suggest parents educate their children on the dominant beliefs that they will encounter in their society both religious and non-religious.

 

[Willamena]

My question is for both atheists and theists. If your position is logical, and you raise them to be critical thinkers, they should reach the same conclusion as you. If your position is religious, god should surely show them the light... why do we feel it's so important for our kids to believe the same things as us? If we raise them with the values that we believe to be good, shouldn't that be enough?

It is good enough.

 

[Salvador]

So I aim to raise my children as free thinkers - I don't intend to share my theoligical position with them in case it colours their own thinking. I raise them with secular values (everyone deserves respect, sexual orientation doesn't matter, slavery is wrong etc) but as far as any god belief goes I won't go into it with them.

My question is for both atheists and theists. If your position is logical, and you raise them to be critical thinkers, they should reach the same conclusion as you. If your position is religious, god should surely show them the light... why do we feel it's so important for our kids to believe the same things as us? If we raise them with the values that we believe to be good, shouldn't that be enough?

God belief isnt a value, its a belief ... just before anyone starts with that stuff

Non-falsifiable or non-verifiable hypothesis such as the God hypothesis should be taught as being conjecture or speculative rather than as known fact.

 

[Spirit of Light]

My fianceè and I do not intend to have any kids, but if it was to happen in the future of some reason, the kids would get an introduction to all religions, and when they are old enough to choose for themselves, then they are free to do so.

 

[Altfish]

I'm an atheist and my kids who are both 30+ have turned out to be atheists too.
I didn't indoctrinate them; in fact through school and Scouts/ Guides they were exposed to religion. We never stopped them going to church.
I'd answer any questions they had; obviously we influenced them as we never went to church/prayed/etc.

Despite not believing in (Spoiler alert!!) Father Xmas, the Tooth Fairy we introduced those to their lives - we treated gods in a similar way, something they grew out of.

 

[Brickjectivity]

So I aim to raise my children as free thinkers - I don't intend to share my theoligical position with them in case it colours their own thinking. I raise them with secular values (everyone deserves respect, sexual orientation doesn't matter, slavery is wrong etc) but as far as any god belief goes I won't go into it with them.

My question is for both atheists and theists. If your position is logical, and you raise them to be critical thinkers, they should reach the same conclusion as you. If your position is religious, god should surely show them the light... why do we feel it's so important for our kids to believe the same things as us? If we raise them with the values that we believe to be good, shouldn't that be enough?

God belief isnt a value, its a belief ... just before anyone starts with that stuff

Children have to choose to be good people. They don't always listen, and some are smarter than others. You need stories, and you need to engage their real selves. Show them compassion. Make them feel it. Make them feel shame for lying and doing wrong and for hitting.

After they do that the next thing they have to learn is that deception is a fact and how to be skeptical but not paranoid. I suggest teaching them to believe in goodness first. Rather than theological positions they need to learn compassion, a personal sense of do good. That will help them to make sense of the world and any theological position. They should see you as a good person, and if the stories are good and important to you then you can use the stories to teach them things. Its about you spending the time with them isn't it?

Myth is like an egg. I don't see a problem with using myth to teach them goodness, as long as you give them the keys to break through. Sure you can tell them to believe in Santa, but they must break through sooner or later. They must learn to be self reliant. If you maintain throughout their lives that they must believe in Santa and that Santa is the only reason to be good, then you have encapsulated them in the egg. That's not good. If the child is not smart enough, then you are going to need to help them for the rest of their lives. They will need constant protection.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Shield them from misinformation but not reality.

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

I'm an atheist, and I specifically avoided all sharing of specific theological opinion with my children, because my wife was Christian during much of their upbringing, and the very last thing I wanted her to be able to say was that I had "poisoned their minds" or anything along those lines. So, I only ever let her proactively discuss all possible theological concerns with them, we attended church, etc. The only thing I ever did was answer my kids' direct questions as truthfully as I felt I was able and never once uttered a phrase even remotely like "God does not exist."

In the end, my logically layed-out positions and realistic sincerity seem to have stuck in their minds. After just a short stint of theology-searching each themselves, my older two are both atheist as well, and I swear to you I actively sought not to push them in any way. We've had conversations in which I have been more candid with some of my answers since they both made a decision (they are now 14 and 16), but before a certain age (before teen years) I was extremely reserved, and answered only as much as any question necessitated.

I tried to do exactly what the OP is suggesting might be an appropriate course - let them decide for themselves. I certainly believe it to be the most fair/equitable behavior from parents, and I believe my experience is proof that one needn't directly influence, indoctrinate, influence, or push a belief on someone if it is at all practical/realistic/worthwhile. If the position holds its own, it will appear the most desirable course.

 

[Quintessence]

God belief isnt a value, its a belief ... just before anyone starts with that stuff

Yup, I'm going to have to start that stuff and dispute this because what a culture deems worthy of worship - what they deify or designate as sacred - is a direct extension of that culture's values. Where that isn't explicit, it is implicit in that it shapes a culture's values. In many cultures, acknowledging the gods really is not about "believing in" them at all. It is important not to restrict discussions of religion and theology to Protestant Christian norms.

My question is for both atheists and theists. If your position is logical, and you raise them to be critical thinkers, they should reach the same conclusion as you.

As others have said, this isn't really how it works in no small part because culture is value-based (with theology and religion being an inseparable aspect of culture). Just in general humans are driven by values, not by reason or logic. Any critical thinking they do is grounded in value-laden assumptions or axioms. They will reach the conclusions that are an extension of axioms and cultural values they are surrounded by. There are exceptions, but they are precisely that.

In any case, I'm a firm supporter of parents having the freedom to indoctrinate their children with their cultural values, whatever those happen to be. And make no mistake, you will be doing this - everyone does because it's unavoidable. Not just you, but everyone your children encounter in the world. Everything they experience will influence them, and you cannot grow up without a culture and being influenced by its values.

 

[Nakosis]

So I aim to raise my children as free thinkers - I don't intend to share my theoligical position with them in case it colours their own thinking. I raise them with secular values (everyone deserves respect, sexual orientation doesn't matter, slavery is wrong etc) but as far as any god belief goes I won't go into it with them.

My question is for both atheists and theists. If your position is logical, and you raise them to be critical thinkers, they should reach the same conclusion as you. If your position is religious, god should surely show them the light... why do we feel it's so important for our kids to believe the same things as us? If we raise them with the values that we believe to be good, shouldn't that be enough?

God belief isnt a value, its a belief ... just before anyone starts with that stuff

I shared my ideas about things with my kids but told them to question everything I told them and determine the truth of it for themselves.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

If I become a father, I'll have my kids partake in rites, such as blessing them, presenting them to the deities and perhaps having a naming ceremony. When they are older, they can do what they wish. I'll also teach them about different religions, philosophies and worldviews, and encourage them to read and study on their own. But in my worldview, religion isn't some separate thing but part of a holistic view of life and culture. It's all part of a great web of connections. Even if my partner is not Asatru, but belongs to a pluralist religion (like Dharmic religions, for example), the child can partake in the other parent's practices too, where applicable. It would be a family affair.

 

[Shiranui117]

So I aim to raise my children as free thinkers - I don't intend to share my theoligical position with them in case it colours their own thinking. I raise them with secular values (everyone deserves respect, sexual orientation doesn't matter, slavery is wrong etc) but as far as any god belief goes I won't go into it with them.

My question is for both atheists and theists. If your position is logical, and you raise them to be critical thinkers, they should reach the same conclusion as you. If your position is religious, god should surely show them the light... why do we feel it's so important for our kids to believe the same things as us? If we raise them with the values that we believe to be good, shouldn't that be enough?

God belief isnt a value, its a belief ... just before anyone starts with that stuff

If you're not willing to teach your beliefs to your kid, do you really believe them to be true? I can see if atheists or agnostics don't believe in God and just don't care if their kids end up believing, but I would honestly be surprised to see that parents would ever keep their religious beliefs a secret from their own children.