Wherenextcolumbus
Well-Known Member
We are responsible for are actions, not entirely are emotions.
-
Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:- Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
- Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
- Access to private conversations with other members.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!
Sick of hearing this!
- Thread starter DallasApple
- Start date
dgirl1986
Big Queer Chesticles!
We can pretend that words dont bother us, but we know that they really do. Logical thing to do is not pretend it never happened, but to face it and work through it. That is real balance.
InChrist
Free4ever
I think it is true that words do have an impact and our words affect others for good or bad, to encourage or discourage. The verse posted earlier often makes me stop and think..I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak. Matthew 12:36
Me Myself
Back to my username
Not entirely, but generally, we should be responible enough.
As I said, context will happen. We all have our weakest moments and if great emotional forces attack us there, it will be almost impossible to defend ourselves, but at least in our hearts we must feel we own our emotions enough to be able to change the inner flows.
I get it. I know there is emotional torture. I have the luck that nothing as strong has happened to me as some people on this forum have had to deal with and I understand some trigger words will happen, but the more you see you have a weakness that frequently comes up in your life the more you need to take measures to lower the sensibility to it and if necessary change the life conditions at least temporarily while we do.
The thing is emotions lead to actions when they are strong enough. If you are angry enough, you will say stupid things.
Thats for example why I try to nevver have a discussion with smeone when I am angry, because I kow I am resposible for what I say.
The thing IMO is to not guilt trip us on our failings, and just work forth to be able to desensibilize ourselves when we must.
This doesnt mean you become a robot. One of the best and biggest and most beautiful helps we can have to become emotionally smart is to be able to listen to the people that support us when we need it.
It's not an all in all out thing.
I never had bullying so bad as in US happens but I ve had it and I (unfortunately) know hate. Thanks god today I dont think I hate anyone, although there are still memories that make me feel a lot of hate for circumstances. I need to own it if I am to change it.
I am still standing up if I see someone bullying someone else because that is a psycholgical attack, but I still would talk to the person if possible to tell her:
One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others," he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake."
Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"
The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."
The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself."
"If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."
The young man listened closely to these wise words of the Buddha. "You are right, o Enlightened One, "he said. "Please teach me the path of love. I wish to become your follower."
The Buddha answered kindly, "Of course. I teach anyone who truly wants to learn. Come with me.
Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"
The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."
The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself."
"If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."
The young man listened closely to these wise words of the Buddha. "You are right, o Enlightened One, "he said. "Please teach me the path of love. I wish to become your follower."
The Buddha answered kindly, "Of course. I teach anyone who truly wants to learn. Come with me.
Just like I would tell her:
A belligerent samurai, an old Japanese tale goes, once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell. But the monk replied with scorn, Youre nothing but a loutI cant waste my time with the likes of you!
His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and, pulling his sword from its scabbard, raised it high and was a second to behead the monk for his insolence when he said:
That is hell.
Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in its grip, the samurai calmed down his anger and felt a rush of deep grattitude and appreciation for the monk who just risked his life to give him a lesson. He sheathed his sword, and bowed.
And that, said the monk, is heaven.
His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and, pulling his sword from its scabbard, raised it high and was a second to behead the monk for his insolence when he said:
That is hell.
Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in its grip, the samurai calmed down his anger and felt a rush of deep grattitude and appreciation for the monk who just risked his life to give him a lesson. He sheathed his sword, and bowed.
And that, said the monk, is heaven.
Exactly. I usually like to give folks the benefit of the doubt and assume they don't really mean the extreme of "only." Unfortunately, certain people will speak in extreme verbiage even though that doesn't reflect their actual stance on things. They use hyperbole for dramatic effect, not quite realizing that (ironically) their choice of words has the power to influence how they are understood by others.
I'm reminded of the blaming the victim mentality with things like this. I'm also reminded of the fact that I'm a hard determinist, which makes this kind of statement even more absurd. Nobody ever "lets" anything happen. It's all causes and effects, and there is never any choice, period. Only the illusion of choice.
