You are an extremely scary woman .
I actually have explored BDSM and it is indeed fascinating and interesting I would never do it myself. I am indeed somewhat of a sadist but this does not mean I would ever do such things in real life. I already had the chance before and I did not take it.
I thought you have spanked at least one other woman in the past?
Everything I have read so far IMO describes you as someone who finds much more enjoyment sensually - which can be differentiated from sexually - from BDSM. Especially someone who might self-identify as a Dom who prefers to train consensually submissive women toward more modest roles. And who prefers to utilize punishment through spanking.
There is a whole community out there who I think very well could welcome you, provided that all parties involved are safe, secure, and offer informed consent.