The season's upon us, it's that time of year
Brandy and eggnog, there's plenty of cheer
There's lights on the trees
And there's wreaths to be hung
There's mischief and mayhem
And songs to be sung
There's bells and there's holly, the kids are gung-ho
True love finds a kiss beneath fresh mistletoe
Some families are messed up while others are fine
If you think yours is crazy
Well you should see mine
My sisters are whack-jobs, I wish I had none
Their husbands are losers and so are their sons
My nephew's a horrible, wise little twit
He once gave me a nice gift wrapped box full of ****
He likes to pelt carolers with icy snow balls
I'd like to take him out back
And deck more than the halls
With family like this, I would have to confess
I'd be better off lonely, distraught and depressed
Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair
Maybe I'll move somewhere
Maybe I'll get a car
Maybe I'll drive so far they'll all lose track
Me, I'll bounce right back
Maybe I'll sleep real late
Maybe I'll lose some weight
Maybe I'll clear my junk
Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I'll be just
Fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still, I won't let sorrow bring me way down
I'll be fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still, I won't let sorrow bring me way down
Hey, maybe I'll learn to sew
Maybe I'll just lie low
Maybe I'll hit the bars
Maybe I'll count the stars until dawn
Me, I will go on
Maybe I'll settle down
Maybe I'll just leave town
Maybe I'll have some fun
Maybe I'll meet someone and make him mine
Me, I'll be just
Fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still, I won't let sorrow bring me way down
I'll be fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still, I won't let sorrow bring me way down
I'll be fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still, I won't let sorrow bring me way down
'Cause I'll be fine
I'll be fine
Oh, I'll be fine