Stereotypes

[JustGeorge]

Growing up, I had a friend who was quite mild mannered. Just a real friendly and laid back type, never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings.

His mom, however was a spitfire, always shrieking and yelling, insulting whoever she didn't approve of. She was a Spanish immigrant, and he'd learned to cope with her mean spirited outgoingness by saying "don't mind my Mom, she's Spanish." And though no one knew how to respond to that, it seemed to diffuse the situations.

My first run in with her, I was sitting on his couch, and she came into the room, took one look at me and said "look at how you're dressed! For shame! You oughta not be allowed in public! If you get raped, I'm not going to feel sorry for you at all!" I was a very shy kid, and my jaw dropped, and I said nothing. My friend shooed her out of the room, and said "don't mind her, she's Spanish" and quickly changed the subject.

I never met any other Spanish people, but I think the way he used it, if it helped him cope, I can't blame him.

 

[Audie]

My family there won't let me pay for anything..... and to be honest, in most places I can't.... everything in Beijing is paid for by a phone app..... they don't take credit cards and many place don't take cash...and if they do,.... they don't have change......

Of course my experiences are so
different.
Aside from who knows who has money-

I'm just another grain of beach sand here.

And westerners are so commomplace they get no notice.

Ive really no experience on mainland.

Taiwan a bunch of times.

Mainland, one trip to Shanghai, is all

So you know better than i how it is in Beijing.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

Growing up, I had a friend who was quite mild mannered. Just a real friendly and laid back type, never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings.

His mom, however was a spitfire, always shrieking and yelling, insulting whoever she didn't approve of. She was a Spanish immigrant, and he'd learned to cope with her mean spirited outgoingness by saying "don't mind my Mom, she's Spanish." And though no one knew how to respond to that, it seemed to diffuse the situations.

My first run in with her, I was sitting on his couch, and she came into the room, took one look at me and said "look at how you're dressed! For shame! You oughta not be allowed in public! If you get raped, I'm not going to feel sorry for you at all!" I was a very shy kid, and my jaw dropped, and I said nothing. My friend shooed her out of the room, and said "don't mind her, she's Spanish" and quickly changed the subject.

I never met any other Spanish people, but I think the way he used it, if it helped him cope, I can't blame him.

I am such a firm believer that we need to be able to poke fun at ourselves -- and do it honestly. To me, it seems to acknowledge our humanity in a very deep, very important way.

 

[JustGeorge]

I am such a firm believer that we need to be able to poke fun at ourselves -- and do it honestly. To me, it seems to acknowledge our humanity in a very deep, very important way.

Your post about fruit and the orchard reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend in my teens.

We both loved All In The Family, and would watch it together when it was on. She'd just recently come out, and Bunker was calling someone a fruit. I was curious, and asked her if she considered that offensive. "No! Not at all! I love fruit!" I called her a fruit, we high fived, and went back to watching the show.

 

[Wu Wei]

Of course my experiences are so
different.
Aside from who knows who has money-

I'm just another grain of beach sand here.

And westerners are so commomplace they get no notice.

Ive really no experience on mainland.

Taiwan a bunch of times.

Mainland, one trip to Shanghai, is all

So you know better than i how it is in Beijing.

I was in a Mall in Beijing with my sister-in-law. It was 6 stories high and covered about 2 city blocks.... westerners don't go there.... I was the only one, well at least the most noticeable one, my daughter was with us, but she is not as noticeable..... there was a lot os staring, and a few jaw dropping looks from the Chinese folks in the mall... I found the whole thing rather entertaining, but the patrons of the mall were mostly rahtert shocked to see me .... happened in restaurants and other places too... but then I was in places forigners don't generally go. Malls near out hotel, in the embassy section, no one even paid attention to me

 

[Kathryn]

I was in a Mall in Beijing with my sister-in-law. It was 6 stories high and covered about 2 city blocks.... westerners don't go there.... I was the only one, well at least the most noticeable one, my daughter was with us, but she is not as noticeable..... there was a lot os staring, and a few jaw dropping looks from the Chinese folks in the mall... I found the whole thing rather entertaining, but the patrons of the mall were mostly rahtert shocked to see me .... happened in restaurants and other places too... but then I was in places forigners don't generally go. Malls near out hotel, in the embassy section, no one even paid attention to me

I noticed some people staring outside of Seoul, Korea.

 

[Revoltingest]

I was in a Mall in Beijing with my sister-in-law. It was 6 stories high and covered about 2 city blocks.... westerners don't go there.... I was the only one, well at least the most noticeable one, my daughter was with us, but she is not as noticeable..... there was a lot os staring, and a few jaw dropping looks from the Chinese folks in the mall... I found the whole thing rather entertaining, but the patrons of the mall were mostly rahtert shocked to see me .... happened in restaurants and other places too... but then I was in places forigners don't generally go. Malls near out hotel, in the embassy section, no one even paid attention to me

 

[Audie]

I noticed some people staring outside of Seoul,

Theres about a billion people who i resemble so
nobody notices me.

Except when i visited a ranch in Wyoming state USA

 

[Wu Wei]

I wasn't shopping like that...I was just walking through, minding my own business... so there was no reason to stare

 

[mangalavara]

I noticed some people staring outside of Seoul, Korea.

I live in a medium-sized city in the southwestern part of Korea. Most people in the neighborhood no longer stare at me because they are used to seeing me now. In my random encounters, I learned that the people are interested in hearing where I'm from. When I say 'the US' or 'Miguk,' they nod with an expression of approval. There have been a couple of times when strangers asked if I am a teacher. Such individuals are aware that that's the kind of work that young Westerners here typically do.

 

[mangalavara]

I wasn't shopping like that...I was just walking through, minding my own business... so there was no reason to stare

I too would stare if I saw a bear walking nearby in that manner.

If I were as brave as an Indian, I would run up to you and ask to take a selfie together. Then, if I am still alive, I'd show the pic to all of my family and friends, bragging that I met a bear.

 

[Kathryn]

I live in a medium-sized city in the southwestern part of Korea. Most people in the neighborhood no longer stare at me because they are used to seeing me now. In my random encounters, I learned that the people are interested in hearing where I'm from. When I say 'the US' or 'Miguk,' they nod with an expression of approval. There have been a couple of times when strangers asked if I am a teacher. Such individuals are aware that that's the kind of work that young Westerners here typically do.

I was visiting my son who is stationed there. I really enjoyed it there!

 

[Wu Wei]

I too would stare if I saw a bear walking nearby in that manner.

If I were as brave as an Indian, I would run up to you and ask to take a selfie together. Then, if I am still alive, I'd show the pic to all of my family and friends, bragging that I met a bear.

But it is ok if a bear takes a selfie with you

 

[mangalavara]

How do you feel about stereotypes?

I feel that stereotypes are simplistic and that they can be used for good or ill.

Are they OK to use as jokes?

Stereotypes, from my perspective, are okay to use in the context of humor when appropriate. It would be okay, for instance, between two friends of different cultures, but it would not be a wise choice between two strangers of different cultures.

Are there some categories one shouldn't joke about? (Nationality, religion, gender, sexual orientation?)

Joking about stereotypes with regards to nationality, religion, gender, and sexual orientation in an appropriate setting might be good because it could possibly help people learn to laugh at themselves. (I have no studies to point to though. It is merely something that I intuit.) Laughing at ourselves is good because if we are too serious or always serious, it makes other people uncomfortable. Several years ago, I was always serious about myself and it made people uncomfortable. I wish that I was never that way. So, if you joke about my American nationality, gender, religion, sexual orientation, blood type, INFP personality, or whatever, I will very likely smile or nod and laugh.

 

[Father Heathen]

I told my Native American boyfriend that I have experienced casual racism in the town we grew up in due to how people would stereotype me and insult me, but he told me it was impossible to experience racism since I'm white and we decided to drop the conversation. So idk.

He's an imbecile. Anyone can be the target of stereotyping and bigotry. In fact saying that whites can't experience racism is itself racist.

 

[Secret Chief]

Growing up, I had a friend who was quite mild mannered. Just a real friendly and laid back type, never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings.

His mom, however was a spitfire, always shrieking and yelling, insulting whoever she didn't approve of. She was a Spanish immigrant, and he'd learned to cope with her mean spirited outgoingness by saying "don't mind my Mom, she's Spanish." And though no one knew how to respond to that, it seemed to diffuse the situations.

My first run in with her, I was sitting on his couch, and she came into the room, took one look at me and said "look at how you're dressed! For shame! You oughta not be allowed in public! If you get raped, I'm not going to feel sorry for you at all!" I was a very shy kid, and my jaw dropped, and I said nothing. My friend shooed her out of the room, and said "don't mind her, she's Spanish" and quickly changed the subject.

I never met any other Spanish people, but I think the way he used it, if it helped him cope, I can't blame him.

Meh, all Spanish people are like that.

 

[TagliatelliMonster]

Stereotypes, tropes, clichés, commonplaces, we all have some of them in our minds.
I use them jokingly, like I just today commented that women are illogical and French people like to drink wine.
I hope, I didn't step on anyone's toes with these comments, as some people are (over) sensitive.
(Some are so sensitive that they object to stereotypes I didn't even hint at.)

How do you feel about stereotypes?
Are they OK to use as jokes?
Are there some categories one shouldn't joke about? (Nationality, religion, gender, sexual orientation?)

I personally think just about every subject is free game when it comes to comedy (in good faith).

Like Jimmy Carr said once about transgenders and non-binaries:

"I totally respect you people and I will always treat you with nothing but respect. In fact I respect you so much that I will tell jokes about you. My pronouns are 'he he he'. Because I identify as a comedian."

 

[Heyo]

I personally think just about every subject is free game when it comes to comedy (in good faith).

Like Jimmy Carr said once about transgenders and non-binaries:

"I totally respect you people and I will always treat you with nothing but respect. In fact I respect you so much that I will tell jokes about you. My pronouns are 'he he he'. Because I identify as a comedian."

I agree (mostly) - still, even after reading all comments from people who haven't overcome trauma from childhood harassment.
I'm sorry if I offend someone, and apologize in advance for the possible offences I'll utter in the future.
For me, I have decided, that when something can offend me, I know where I have untreated psychological problems - and should do something about it. I don't demand that from everyone, I'm just saying it would be good for them.
If I know (and remember at the time), I don't offend consciously, and I've learned to bite my tongue when necessary. But my offline company is, and almost has been, people who can take a joke (and deal out jokes), so it's become a habit.

 

[TagliatelliMonster]

I agree (mostly) - still, even after reading all comments from people who haven't overcome trauma from childhood harassment.
I'm sorry if I offend someone, and apologize in advance for the possible offences I'll utter in the future.
For me, I have decided, that when something can offend me, I know where I have untreated psychological problems - and should do something about it. I don't demand that from everyone, I'm just saying it would be good for them.
If I know (and remember at the time), I don't offend consciously, and I've learned to bite my tongue when necessary. But my offline company is, and almost has been, people who can take a joke (and deal out jokes), so it's become a habit.

I think the "offend" thingy is problematic.

I think it is important to note the difference between "feeling offended" on the one hand and to "deliberately offend with malicious intent" on the other.

Don't remember where I heard this, but a quote comes to mind here....
"The thing about freedom of speech is, that to be for it means that you accept that sometimes people are going to say things that you don't like".

If the idea is that we are to be tumbling over ourselves to go out of our way to not offend anyone, we are going to find ourselves pretty fast being unable to say and do almost anything.

Eating a burger might offend a vegan.
Eating pork chops might offend a muslim.
Drinking a beer might offend an ex alcoholic.
Telling a joke might offend anyone who feels targeted by the joke.

People certainly have a right to be offended by anything. But many a time I'ld be like...you know.... suck it up!

 

[RestlessSoul]

Growing up, I had a friend who was quite mild mannered. Just a real friendly and laid back type, never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings.

His mom, however was a spitfire, always shrieking and yelling, insulting whoever she didn't approve of. She was a Spanish immigrant, and he'd learned to cope with her mean spirited outgoingness by saying "don't mind my Mom, she's Spanish." And though no one knew how to respond to that, it seemed to diffuse the situations.

My first run in with her, I was sitting on his couch, and she came into the room, took one look at me and said "look at how you're dressed! For shame! You oughta not be allowed in public! If you get raped, I'm not going to feel sorry for you at all!" I was a very shy kid, and my jaw dropped, and I said nothing. My friend shooed her out of the room, and said "don't mind her, she's Spanish" and quickly changed the subject.

I never met any other Spanish people, but I think the way he used it, if it helped him cope, I can't blame him.

I think you just described my Spanish neighbour (from Almeria, in Andalusia). She is actually a lovely person when you get to know her; and almost certainly not typical of Spanish women in general. But she's certainly a spitfire, and can often be heard loudly berating her husband, who being English () is quite reserved.

Come to think of it, I had a Spanish girlfriend once, and she would occasionally throw things at me. Maybe there's a pattern here after all...