Sticking Up for Friends and Family?

[Sunstone]

Under what circumstances, if any, should we stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?

Under what circumstances, if any, should we refuse to stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?


BONUS QUESTION: Suppose, purely for the sake of discussion, that Badran, Debater Slayer, and Panda were all in a room together. Further suppose they were arguing over some issue and -- as would surely be the case in such circumstances -- all three were hopelessly wrong about the matter. Finally suppose the room caught fire. What would be the moral thing for you to do? Should you (A) go fetch a tasty beer for yourself? Or, (B) go catch a movie?

 

[Curious George]

Under what circumstances, if any, should we stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?

Under what circumstances, if any, should we refuse to stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?

Always. However, how we stick up for them changes with the circumstances.

 

[Sunstone]

Always. However, how we stick up for them changes with the circumstances.

Can I trouble you to elaborate, please?

 

[Gjallarhorn]

Under what circumstances, if any, should we stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?

When the opposition is performing ad hominem, in which case we stick up for their dignity, not their position.

Under what circumstances, if any, should we refuse to stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?

When the opposition is being respectful.

 

[Quintessence]

It seems to me that the most precious of friends are those who have the courage to tell you that you're doing something wrong and the fortitude to help you see through its correction.

 

[Mycroft]

The office of a true friend is to stick by you when you're wrong. Anybody can stick by you when you're right.

 

[Curious George]

Can I trouble you to elaborate, please?

Sure, if you and I were at a bar, and some guy charges you, it doesn't matter if you have been acting an **** or making quagmire-esque (from family guy not RF) jokes about his daughter or towards his wife. If the next day that guy is running his mouth instead of trying to fight, I might apologize for your behavior but tell him you were having fun and were just a little tipsy. If you did this type of stuff consistently, I would explain that it was just who you were and tell the guy to get over it or talk to you about it.

I think you toss out a million scenarios, and I would have a million different answers, none of my answers would be not to defend. How I would go about defending you would change though.

I suppose if you decided to take a kids candy, I would probably go and buy the kid candy to replace that which was stolen. And in such a situation if the kid said you were a jerk, I would offer some pseudo sagely advice about not judging people as well. Such a scenario, where you are in the wrong and there is a clear power advantage in your favor and the attacks thrown at you cannot cause you harm, is probably the scenario where I would do the least to protect you and the most to rectify your wrong, but I still do not think I would not defend. the defense would just be to a lesser degree.

I suppose I would not defend after the fact, though. If you got into a fight the day before because you acted an ****, and there was no continuing danger then I probably would do little if anything.

Non of this deters however from me telling you that you acted like a jack-**** when we are alone.

 

[psychoslice]

If any member of my family is right I will do my best to help them, but if their wrong then their on their own.

 

[freethinker44]

I don't stick up for anyone if they are in the wrong. I suppose if it was a matter of life and death or to prevent physical injury, but other than that I only defend what I know or perceive to be the truth.

 

[freethinker44]

BONUS QUESTION: Suppose, purely for the sake of discussion, that Badran, Debater Slayer, and Panda were all in a room together. Further suppose they were arguing over some issue and -- as would surely be the case in such circumstances -- all three were hopelessly wrong about the matter. Finally suppose the room caught fire. What would be the moral thing for you to do? Should you (A) go fetch a tasty beer for yourself? Or, (B) go catch a movie?

Obviously the correct answer is to get a beer and then watch a movie because you can't watch a movie without a beer, I'm pretty sure it's physically impossible.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

It seems to me that the most precious of friends are those who have the courage to tell you that you're doing something wrong and the fortitude to help you see through its correction.

I agree with this, it depends what the friend or family member is wrong about, if it's really personal then a true friend would pull you to one side and have a private conversation about it and not infront of the opposition.... Then they should help you hide the body.

 

[Penumbra]

Under what circumstances, if any, should we stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?

Under what circumstances, if any, should we refuse to stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?

I'd try to handle it in a way that didn't escalate any embarrassment for them, but that also didn't have me agreeing with something that's just plain wrong.

Like, I'm not going to pretend I agree with someone who I don't agree with. But I'll stick up for their dignity, intentions, etc. And if giving my opinion will make my family/friend look bad, then unless it's really important that I give my opinion, I'll keep it to myself, and express it privately to them later.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

Under what circumstances, if any, should we stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?

Under what circumstances, if any, should we refuse to stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?


BONUS QUESTION: Suppose, purely for the sake of discussion, that Badran, Debater Slayer, and Panda were all in a room together. Further suppose they were arguing over some issue and -- as would surely be the case in such circumstances -- all three were hopelessly wrong about the matter. Finally suppose the room caught fire. What would be the moral thing for you to do? Should you (A) go fetch a tasty beer for yourself? Or, (B) go catch a movie?

I don't stick up for anybody. My family and friends know I am here if I need them, but I won't say/do anything unless they ask me directly. If they are 'wrong', they should learn the lesson themselves - they are all big and ugly enough. lol

Often, family/friends will just say 'butt out and MYOB' anyway.

Not being a social person at all though and not being given a 'human instruction manual' I wouldn't have a clue.

(C) - toast marshmallows..

 

[sandandfoam]

Under what circumstances, if any, should we stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?

We should stick up for them in front of anyone outside of friends and family

Under what circumstances, if any, should we refuse to stick up for our friends and family when we know they are in the wrong about something?

Only in the context of friends and family

 

[Caladan]

The office of a true friend is to stick by you when you're wrong. Anybody can stick by you when you're right.

Amen. Often I'd stick by people I value even if I am ambivalentic about the issue in question and who is truly right (because really, in most cases it is not that important or a personal issue to me). If I value a person's integrity and their closeness I'd support them over people I haven't the same respect for.
Of course if I think that the person who is close to me is in grave error, I will definitely express my opinion tactfully, and ideally privately.

 

[ChristineES]

I always stand behind my children, but they would still need to face the consequences for their actions.

 

[Curious George]

Amen. Often I'd stick by people I value even if I am ambivalentic about the issue in question and who is truly right (because really, in most cases it is not that important or a personal issue to me). If I value a person's integrity and their closeness I'd support them over people I haven't the same respect for.
Of course if I think that the person who is close to me is in grave error, I will definitely express my opinion tactfully, and ideally privately.

You haven't lived until one of your friends gets you into a bar fight.