Matt The Lost Soul
New Member
Hello, first of all i am new to this forum. I apologize if this is in the wrong spot. Ill start with the basics. My whole life i believe in God. I never really attended church or anything, and sort of mocked people who did, but i still believe in God. After a traumatic event a few years back i was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. This left me questioning and obsessing over many things (among other symptoms) and i just couldn't let things go. I started living a really unhealthy lifestyle. Drugs, alcohol, riding reckless on my motorcycle, getting into all sorts of troubles. I started to think the Devil was the coolest thing ever. However, I started studying a lot and taking college classes on things i didn't understand like Chemistry, physics, biology and finally ended up falling into a pre-med major im still currently working on. About a month ago, i woke up one day thinking to myself "Why the hell do I believe in God?" It just didn't make any sense. I felt physically sick, i felt like i was in a whirlwind, everything that i loved and cared for didn't mean anything anymore cause one day we would all die and cease to exist. It terrified me. Now this whole past month i have been on a religious journey trying to find what i believe. I have successfully restored faith in other people, even converted a few people into believing, but still can't find an inner peace. So many things in my life have happened that would make the average person say "Wow! That is a miracle! That HAD to be God!" (I'll give examples later if anyone cares) but i still can't grasp the concept that he is real, simply because I cant experience him with my senses. So tell me what religion you guys are (atheists join too please!) and explain to me why you think that way. I truly want to believe, but im not arrogant and opposed to the idea of atheism. If God is real, i hope he forgives me for my sins :shout