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Tacky: a funny music thread

dybmh

dybmh

דניאל יוסף בן מאיר הירש


"
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
Lot o' news, ahh
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
Din afore, din afore ahh
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
Strategy, strategy, strategy, I got it
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
"
 
Last edited:
Earthling

Earthling

David Henson
Someone beat me to Ren N Stimpy and Super Chicken . . . You have to have Primus and The Bloodhound Gang.


Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter
May have nestled its way into his mighty throat
Many a fat alley rat had met its demise while staring point blank down
The cavernous barrel of this awesome prowling machine
Truly a wonder of nature this urban predator
Tommy the Cat had many a story to tell
But it was a rare occasion such as this that he did
She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot biscuit
The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in even the
Oldest of tigers that hung around the hot spot in those days
The sight was beyond belief
Many a head snapped for double--even triple--takes as this vivacious
Feline made her her way into the delta of the alleyway where the most
Virile of the young tabbies were known to hang out
They hung in droves
Such a multitude of masculinity could only be found in one place
And that was O'Malley's Alley
The air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended)
But not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into
The heart of the alleyway
She knew what she wanted
She was lookin' for that stud bull
She was looking for that he cat
And that was me
Tommy the Cat is my name and I say unto thee
Say, baby, do you want to lay down with me?
Say, baby, do you want to lay down by my side?
Ah, baby, do you want to lay down with me?
Say, baby?
Say, baby?


Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet
Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket
Batter-dip the cranny axe
In the gut locker
Retro-fit the pudding hatch, ooh la la
With the boink swatter
If I get you in the loop
When I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten
Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston
Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the ***** wrinkle
Cannonball the fiddle cove, ooh la la
With the pork steeple,
If I get you in the loop
When I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where pronto

 
Twilight Hue

Twilight Hue

Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
dybmh said:


"
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
Lot o' news, ahh
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
Din afore, din afore ahh
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
Strategy, strategy, strategy, I got it
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
"
Click to expand...
A true tacky classic!!
 
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