Tact?

[Feathers in Hair]

In a few threads I've been reading lately, I've been curious about the language used. I realize that, especially in the 'Debates' section, things can get quite a bit heated. Am I being overly sensitive, though, to various comments that might be interpreted as... well, rude? I have been fortunate, in that none of these have been directed at me, but I am puzzled as to why a person who is wanting to make an argument would infer that another person is of lesser intelligence than themselves. Doesn't that simply serve to insult the other person and not to prove their point?

I'm really hoping to understand this, though, so I hope someone might be able to explain it to me. I know it isn't neccessarily people being less than tactful, because my skin is extremely thin. (Really! I'm nearly intangible! I sneak into the guy's locker rooms all the time!:woohoo Is this just the case in everyone's opinion?

 

[Jaymes]

A bit of sarcasm can be amusing, but if someone overuses it to the point of being obnoxious they lose a lot of credibility in my book. That, and it's just plain rude.

 

[robtex]

ehh feathers..just words. Some people are really sensative about their religion. I see it as a mirror of their personal insecurities most often but not always.

ad hominem is the term used for the illogical fallacy of attacking the arguer and not the arguement. Really overall this is paradise compared to other forums. I have had friends get private messages telling them to burn in hell after posts and I think I have been told by a couple of Christians on others sites to burn in hell in posts before. I have gotten to some Muslims too and was called lots of names by one once in a post on another forum. Ironically it was a thread debating on weather or not the Islamic religion was truely a religion of peace or not.

Here is more like family ...most people can be different and everyone still gets along for the most part. I think Rex did an awsome job in creating a paradign that keeps the friction to a mininum with the same faith sections discussion sections and debate forums.

One of the perks though which TVOR pointed out before is you are one of the people who puts a lot of motherly affection on here and to me it balances out some of the tempers.

Its kinda like a long day at the office....you get home maybe snap at the dog or kid and hopefully you fell guilt for it but the morning everything is hunky dory again. I get that kinda vibe around here...just a run of rough posts.....one day in a year..no biggie.

 

[SoulTYPE]

See how wonderful you are FIH? You are so considerate of what you may say offending someone, regardless of disagreeing/agreeing with them. That is what this forum loves you for. Read my signature.

You are kind of like I was. Now, If I say something offensive, it's left for the classic LK to look in to

 

[Yerda]

I agree with FeathersinHair, sometimes it's just insult after insult. Sometimes it's me doing it. Itry to keep it clean though. Insults don't really add to anything.

Humour though...

 

[SoulTYPE]

Feathers,

We share a similar problem. We are always worried about other people. You in the sense you may offend them, and me in the sense they dislike me or ignore me.

You are so kind and that is a reason for people to like you. You have consideration, and respect. That is a key thing to have. Why wory if other people don't like you? I do. It is
the fact knwing you have these qualities that you should be more worried about.Don't waste these qualities. Friends are quality, not quantity. I may or may not have many friends here at the ol RF, but it is the ones I do have that are valued and I respect them for that.

Now, don't worry about me. I'll be right. But on this boards, words are just simply that:
WORDS. Don't lose your great qualities and get upset over words. I do, but meh, that's me. I chuck a fit almost every time the LK puts on her leather gloves and warns me and I really do not want you to sink to my level, because you are really, really REALLY a kind soul. Don't ket a bunch of words get you down dear.

This is the internet, not real life. I never ever want you to be upset.

 

[Suzy]

Hello Feathers.
I am very new here and I read alot more than I post as yet. I have thought the same as you though. I feel there is no need at all for rudeness and sarcasm,unless it is in a obvious joking around way and not done to make someone else feel stupid.(I am stupid enough I don't need to be reminded lol)
I think it is possable for people to make a point without going over the top on the anger etc.And I think somepeople honestly are not aware at times that what they are saying is tactless.

Well thats my waffle over bye for now.
Sue

 

[SoulTYPE]

That was a nice post Suzy

 

[Suzy]

Thankyou Soul, You have made my day.

Sue

 

[SoulTYPE]

You have just made mine as well. You have been blessed with frubal.

 

[Suzy]

Awww Thanks Soul

Although I don't realy understand the frubal thing properly yet,I am still working on that one. I do know Frubals are good though so thankyou.

Sue

 

[SoulTYPE]

they CAN be bad.. but I gave you a good one

 

[Suzy]

Ooops, I didn't realise that there were bad frubals as well. Seems I have much to learn.

Sue

 

[SoulTYPE]

I'm still trying to learn RF myself..

This is gonna sound DUMB but will you be my friend? I like nice people and you seem nice.

 

[cardero]

The definition of tact to me is the ability to tell someone how to go to hell in such a way that the person you are telling it to, can’t wait to get there. There is only one person that I know of on this forum who has honed this into a craft and developed it into a style all their own that makes it work for both them and us.

This same person has also made it abundantly clear to everyone what the debate forums are used for. Debate. You can post your beliefs on these boards if you desire, there is absolutely nothing INCORRECT about that but you had better be prepared that someone may challenge that belief. If you feel your belief is strong or worthy enough, you will rise to the challenge but I think you will have to be prepared to defend it to its logical/illogical conclusion. If you are not ready for this, the debate boards may not be a place where you want to post your beliefs. I also do not think that a person’s style of rebuttal should be discouraged. There is a fine line between expressing yourself in your own individuality without having to resort to insults and cursing, I have seen it, so I know that it exists. I am one of those people who will not “sugar-coat” my posts or responses. I also recognize what it means to be charitable. If you do not like my posts then you have the right not to follow up on them.

Maybe Rex can provide a location (if he hasn’t done so already) where people can just share their beliefs without any reproach or debate.

 

[SoulTYPE]

If you do not like my posts then you have the right not to follow up on them.

You gettin fruballed for that.

 

[Suzy]

Hi Soul.

Blush blush.

Seriously though, I would like to think that I can eventuely be thought of as a friend to everyone on here. It is a Religious board after all

Sue.

Ps... I hope I am not going to be introuble with the Mods for clogging up the thread with one to many unrelated subject posts.
Sue

 

[SoulTYPE]

Seriously though, I would like to think that I can eventuely be thought of as a friend to everyone on here. It is a Religious board after all

I thought the same thing, once.

Ps... I hope I am not going to be introuble with the Mods for clogging up the thread with one to many unrelated subject posts.
Sue

Meh I will cop the warning for you. I do it all the time.

 

[Lightkeeper]

I always look at "you" statements as a projection of your own personality onto someone else. I think put downs tell a lot about the person giving them. I personally don't like any statement that puts another person down. I don't even like so called put down humor. Any time we attack a person in a debate we have lost the debate IMHO.

 

[Yerda]

The definition of tact to me is the ability to tell someone how to go to hell in such a way that the person you are telling it to, can’t wait to get there.

Not quite what the dictionary says, but still one of the finest definitions of any word I've ever encountered.

Maybe you could start a Carrdero's Dictionary?