The Bible 2.0

[David T]

Ugh. Such smarmy BS. I mean, thanks for the offer, but I mean writing the bible as though it were a modern novel, not some hateful Christian's revenge porn.


Thanks. That would be closer, yes.


Because after I'm done with my religious fiction trilogy, I want to see if I can write it.

I mean, if Muslims can argue that no one can improve the Quran, why not have a similar writing challenge for the books of the bible?


Agreed.


To be fair, Labyrinth very much copies some of the (30's era) movie themes from TWoO.


Yeah, you're right.


Like, I wonder what Genesis would read like if using modern novel tropes instead of ancient oral ones.


This really wasn't that upsetting. We cool.


LOL, I don't like to write romance scenes. I'd have to ask my brother to cowrite those.


I like Deborah and Jael better. Action women are better than women known only for their hotness.


Yeah.


But he's such a hack.


LOL. I'm sure you'd find people who say it's still better than Twilight.


I'm looking for less "Dracula" by Bram Stoker and more "Harry Potter". In other words, the bible is only a novel if you REALLY stretch the definition of one. Stoker's Dracula is a proto-novel, where page length is achieved not through a unified story but by slapping together "letters" and "memos" and stuff. It's a good book, don't get me wrong, but it's not the style I'm looking for.


I haven't seen it or read it, but it smacks too much of Fifty Shades to me.


Two if you remember the sequel wasn't around for centuries after the first was written.

Then you have the obligatory Reboot Story with the Quran.


This would be pretty much what I'm looking for, but I think it sells the stories short to treat the bible as one unified work when it clearly isn't.


I really need to watch that. And The Life of Brian.


Middle Earth is WAY better than Narnia.

Obviously!!!! One is written by an Anglican and the other by a deeply devout Catholic. Lewis' whole religious conversion was due to Tolkien and he then turned around and.started sounding like Henry the VIII IN regards.to Catholicism for Pete sake. Lewis had a lot of very annoying characteristics first and foremost being full of himself at times. Like many artist/scholars. I assume this is why evangelicals found so much self identity with Lewis. Not that Catholics aren't that at times but the Catholic church is wide with all kinds of different perspectives. besides I just love the Catholic magik which protestants don't really get they are way To literalist. Trust me I have a degree in theology from a free Methodist university. Wowzer was I confused for listening to the confused. My fault totally my fault.

 

[Grasscutter]

I have a question and would like someone's thoughts on the matter:

Are there any books that essentially are books of the bible, but written more like modern novels would be?

The bible IS a novel!, just total make believe!, written to fool and scare, and it's done a good job on the weak of mind and character!!.

 

[ThePainefulTruth]

LOL. I'm sure you'd find people who say it's still better than Twilight.

Apples 'n urnges. Arrogantly interminable vs. 100% stupid.

 

[sealchan]

Done with your religious fiction trilogy? Are you a writer? Are you serious about trying your hand at writing something better than the Bible?

If so, please start a thread on this...if I were more of a writer myself this would be something I would do. I have given it a lot of thought myself and I even have a story concept-outline I would be willing to share and probably "give away" given that I know I won't be writing it. i'd rather interpret and "dissect" than create something new in the form of the modern novel.

My own effort started with a modern setting for the retelling of Wagner's Ring of the Nibelung with an Adam and Eve figure in the place of the Rhine maidens who got entangled with one Al Berich...

 

[Kelly of the Phoenix]

The bible IS a novel!, just total make believe!, written to fool and scare, and it's done a good job on the weak of mind and character!!.

Um. 'Kay.

Done with your religious fiction trilogy? Are you a writer? Are you serious about trying your hand at writing something better than the Bible?

I've written fanfiction (stories using established properties, like Pokemon or Beauty and the Beast or whatever) since I was a teenager. I'm interested in starting to write "real" stories, for pay this time, LOL. For starters, I have some chronic medical conditions and while enjoy nursing, I'm getting too broke down for that stuff. I'd like to try something else for a change and I have loved writing for quite a while.

At any rate, I would just like to try my hand at novelizing the bible. For example, it seems evident (to me, anyway), that the Garden of Eden plot up to the Flood is one story. Thematically, you go from God hating us to God accepting us, flaws and all. It's then retconned with the next story arcs, but what can you do? I'd like to try writing a set of biblical novels that attempt to break the stories back up to their original plotlines/beginnings and endings.

For now, my religious fiction trilogy is about El charging Satan with finding "God", but Baal and Yahweh still fight over control of the term, even millennia later, because El feels only His Sons or either One can fix the environmental damage plaguing the earth. It's not just for tree-hugging purposes, though: pollution is also wafting to the sacred gardens of the Gods and all that magic fruit and stuff are dying and when they die, so do Immortals. That's just part one. I am very interested in pre-Jewish theology and I am trying to incorporate stories from before monotheism.

 

[Grasscutter]

Don't you all find it strange that people accept Harry Potter as fiction, yet lots accept the religious texts as true!, with absolutely no evidence what so ever of their supposed gods!!. We, as a whole see no miracles (religious) at all nowadays, is that because we're not so gullible or..........??.

 

[ThePainefulTruth]

Don't you all find it strange that people accept Harry Potter as fiction, yet lots accept the religious texts as true!, with absolutely no evidence what so ever of their supposed gods!!. We, as a whole see no miracles (religious) at all nowadays, is that because we're not so gullible or..........??.

I see what you're against, and basically I agree. But what are you for? What do you believe? Can you rule out any form of spirituality with any more certainty than those who proclaim divine revelation?

 

[Grasscutter]

I see what you're against, and basically I agree. But what are you for? What do you believe? Can you rule out any form of spirituality with any more certainty than those who proclaim divine revelation?

I believe in facts!, empirical evidence. As you probably realise I am an Atheist!!, need I say more??.

 

[ThePainefulTruth]

I believe in facts!, empirical evidence. As you probably realise I am an Atheist!!, need I say more??.

Well yes, you do need to say more. Agnostic-atheism is one of only two rational beliefs about God/Creation. The other is agnostic-deism. Hard atheism is just as dogmatic as evangelical revealed religion, and just as easy to dismiss.

The evidence is the universe, and it's initiation at the Big Bang. But we have absolutely no evidence from "before" it, or from "beyond" where the expansion of the universe goes superluminal, in all directions, or "through" the limits of divisibility of time and space into the non-local distanceless and timeless quantumland "in" which the universe is set and expanding "into".

Only when we acquire some evidence from beyond those firewalls, will be even begin to be able to consider the question of "How?", much less "Why?"

 

[Grasscutter]

The problem is that we humans think to much, we create our own gods, in other words we lie like cheap Japanese watches, what will knowing where the universe begins and ends or how it got here in the first place help YOU??. Your born, you live, you die!. The dinosaurs survived for 135 million years with no knowledge of imaginary gods, or indeed what a star is or what that giver of live the sun is!!. However if this planet is to survive in some form or another, the human race needs to meet the same fate as the dinosaurs!!.

 

[ThePainefulTruth]

The problem is that we humans think to much, we create our own gods, in other words we lie like cheap Japanese watches, what will knowing where the universe begins and ends or how it got here in the first place help YOU??. Your born, you live, you die!. The dinosaurs survived for 135 million years with no knowledge of imaginary gods, or indeed what a star is or what that giver of live the sun is!!. However if this planet is to survive in some form or another, the human race needs to meet the same fate as the dinosaurs!!.

Yeah, once you dismiss self-awareness and meaning, the rest is a piece-o-cake. And if you're really serious about that last, how'd you rationalize that you're still banging on the keyboard?

 

[Twilight Hue]

Watts?

He he.

Actually they had a translation called, "The Book". Each book from Genesis to Revelation was indexed verse by verse chapter by chapter as any other Bible, but it was written in story format much like a novel. I really liked it at the time.

 

[Grasscutter]

Yeah, once you dismiss self-awareness and meaning, the rest is a piece-o-cake. And if you're really serious about that last, how'd you rationalize that you're still banging on the keyboard?

Me BANGING on a keyboard doesn't take away from the fact that the human race is nowt but a plague on this blue planet!. Greedy, jealous, childish, power hungry and selfish!, I wish you all the best, goodbye!.

 

[sealchan]

Um. 'Kay.


I've written fanfiction (stories using established properties, like Pokemon or Beauty and the Beast or whatever) since I was a teenager. I'm interested in starting to write "real" stories, for pay this time, LOL. For starters, I have some chronic medical conditions and while enjoy nursing, I'm getting too broke down for that stuff. I'd like to try something else for a change and I have loved writing for quite a while.

At any rate, I would just like to try my hand at novelizing the bible. For example, it seems evident (to me, anyway), that the Garden of Eden plot up to the Flood is one story. Thematically, you go from God hating us to God accepting us, flaws and all. It's then retconned with the next story arcs, but what can you do? I'd like to try writing a set of biblical novels that attempt to break the stories back up to their original plotlines/beginnings and endings.

For now, my religious fiction trilogy is about El charging Satan with finding "God", but Baal and Yahweh still fight over control of the term, even millennia later, because El feels only His Sons or either One can fix the environmental damage plaguing the earth. It's not just for tree-hugging purposes, though: pollution is also wafting to the sacred gardens of the Gods and all that magic fruit and stuff are dying and when they die, so do Immortals. That's just part one. I am very interested in pre-Jewish theology and I am trying to incorporate stories from before monotheism.

This sounds awesome, both the story you are working on and the one you are contemplating. I've done some extensive study of Genesis over the last several years and I even have a backstory idea that might help you to explain God's cyclical abusive relationship with His children...

If you are looking for ideas I'd be glad to share without any literary strings attached.

 

[sayak83]

I have a question and would like someone's thoughts on the matter:

Are there any books that essentially are books of the bible, but written more like modern novels would be?

You may find these two books interesting.
https://www.amazon.com/God-Biography-Jack-Miles/dp/0679743685

https://www.amazon.com/Harlot-Side-...rd_wg=CR1mz&psc=1&refRID=EXWV37C121BYHAX5KYH1

 

[Jedster]

@Kelly of the Phoenix[/USER]

Have you read 'The Great Divorce" by CS Lewis?
I found it a short yet insightful book, when I read it some 40 years ago.