The Coffee House - the UU Fellowship Thread

[Kungfuzed]

Wow. I've never heard of having sex ed at church. Sounds like a great idea though. Do they teach abstinence or focus more on STDs and birth control?

 

[lilithu]

Wow. I've never heard of having sex ed at church. Sounds like a great idea though. Do they teach abstinence or focus more on STDs and birth control?

Abstinence? :areyoucra Know you nothing about the UUs? :slap:



Stairs will know better but my understanding is that OWL teaches youth what they need to empower them to make healthy decisions. We have faith that if people are given the proper information they will choose what is best for them. Not always, but most of the time.

Addendum:
Speaking of abstinence, it reminds me of UUA president Bill Sinfkford's response to president Bush's "abstinence only" policy in combating the spread of HIV/AIDS. Bill said: "Just say no didn't work in the Garden of Eden, and it isn't stopping the spread of HIV today."

 

[des]

I'd love to see "I took sex ed at church".

>Addendum:
Speaking of abstinence, it reminds me of UUA president Bill Sinfkford's response to president Bush's "abstinence only" policy in combating the spread of HIV/AIDS. Bill said: "Just say no didn't work in the Garden of Eden, and it isn't stopping the spread of HIV today."

I would say amen to that sister. As well as this: I think to most progressives "abstinence only" is an immoral "choice". First of all, it is dishonest in terms of actual human behavior. (Kids who have had abstinence only education, while they may delay sex a bit longer, when they do have it engage in a higher percentage of unsafe behavior, than kids with a more balanced sex ed program.) And as the above suggests, "abstinence only" policies may be killing people particular in countries like Uganda, which had a very effective AIDs policy called "ABC"-- "Abstinence, BE faithful, use Condoms". The Bush admin. eliminated funding and support for the C part. See info:
http://hrw.org/english/docs/2005/03/30/uganda10380.htm

I also consider the abstinence only programs as a thinly disguised attempt to fund religious education programs. Public money is going to support so-called chastity balls, "promise nights", and the like which are little more than conservative Christian agenda events, and do nothing to stem the tide of STDs, AIDs, and teen pregancies.
A very good article from salon.com
http://dir.salon.com/story/news/feature/2004/02/24/abstinence/index.html


--des

 

[Tigress]

I think to most progressives "abstinence only" is an immoral "choice". First of all, it is dishonest in terms of actual human behavior. (Kids who have had abstinence only education, while they may delay sex a bit longer, when they do have it engage in a higher percentage of unsafe behavior, than kids with a more balanced sex ed program.) And as the above suggests, "abstinence only" policies may be killing people particular in countries like Uganda, which had a very effective AIDs policy called "ABC"-- "Abstinence, BE faithful, use Condoms". The Bush admin. eliminated funding and support for the C part. See info:
http://hrw.org/english/docs/2005/03/30/uganda10380.htm

And that's the biggest reason I oppose 'abstinence only' sex education. It is immoral, as it ignores reality, breeds ignorance, and no doubt endangers more lives than it saves.

 

[Stairs In My House]

Wow. I've never heard of having sex ed at church. Sounds like a great idea though. Do they teach abstinence or focus more on STDs and birth control?

Well, they do present abstinence as "the best choice for young adolescents" but it's hardly "abstinence only", and it's also much more than just disease and/or pregnancy prevention. See http://www.uua.org/owl/what.html

I'd love to see "I took sex ed at church".

There's also now a group called "I Teach Sex Ed at Church" which has the following description:

If you've ever told teens that masturbation is not only fun, but healthy...

If you find yourself mumbling about the inherent worth and dignity of every person" in your sleep...

If you've ever stopped at a sex shop with a bag full of cucumbers in hand and asked for a dental dam, a bottle of flavored lube, some lambskin condoms, a box or two of latex, and a female condom -- and told the clerk that it was for a church retreat...

If you've ever had to answer questions like, "Seriously, where exactly is my hymen?" or "Why are girls who have sex sluts, but boys aren't?" or had a debate with a room full of teens on just exactly what 'third base' encompasses and whether it even matters...

Then this may be the group for you

 

[Stairs In My House]

I'd love to see "I took sex ed at church".

Well, okay, here's a few select quotes from the group's public messages:

..The slideshows. Yes, OWL. We know. It's not just young, pretty people who have sex. Ok. Yeah. We know. Seriously. Ok.
...
I was in OWL when i was in middleschool, and then my Soph. year in college they asked me to help facilitate it.... yeah, i had to teach half of the kids ive ever babysat how to put a condom on....YIKES!
...
I specifically remember a middle school arts and craft project where we had to make genitalia out of markers, macaroni, feathers, glitter, etc.
...
My favorite moment was when our youth advisor assigned us to go buy condoms and bring them to next Monday's meeting. We all came empty-handed that next time -- too shy, of course -- so she basically insisted that we take care of it right away. Our advisor waited at the church while all walked across the street to Safeway together and stood in line at the same register to ring up our condoms. Needless to say, the look on the checkout worker's face was priceless.
...
after my mom reviewed the OWL video material she said "that was the first time I saw an uncircumcised penis. wow."
...
I'll never forget the time freshman year one of my friends approached me and said "Caitlin, you're a Unitarian. How do lesbians have sex?" She's been dating another woman for a year and a half now. : D
...
Yeah, I remember when I first was old enough to be in Youth Group (7th grade at our church), at the first meeting I went to, someone found a condom wrapper on the floor. One of the older kids said, "oh, it's just a condom from the OWL kids" and I was all scared of OWL until I realized it was AWESOME!!!!
...
we put condom ornaments on our church christmas tree <3
...
I feel like they left nothing out, almost a little too informative. Things i didn't want to know. However. I think in my group all of us are afraid of STD's so a lot of good came of it.
...
lol. i loved owl. especially the suction cup dildo we had to use for "condom putting on" practice... haha. that was so hilarious.
...
We even had a mascot someone carved out of a hunk of wood, Horny the Owl. good old Horny...always was watching over us slip those condoms onto bananas and make model vaginas with baloons and pipe cleaners...
...
condom obstacle course was the best night of my life...

Man, I wish I had taken sex ed in church!

 

[Kungfuzed]

Do they also teach parents how to talk to kids about sex? I bought my daughter several books on unicorns and princesses but her favorite book in the whole world right now is Gray's Anatomy for Students. Guess which section she just turned to? She's 6 years old and very curious. I've got to get over my embarassment and explain how certain parts of the anatomy work.

 

[uumckk16]

Well, they do present abstinence as "the best choice for young adolescents" but it's hardly "abstinence only"http://www.uua.org/owl/what.html

I'm glad to hear that. I think that's the best approach.

 

[Stairs In My House]

Do they also teach parents how to talk to kids about sex? I bought my daughter several books on unicorns and princesses but her favorite book in the whole world right now is Gray's Anatomy for Students. Guess which section she just turned to? She's 6 years old and very curious. I've got to get over my embarassment and explain how certain parts of the anatomy work.

As far as I know that's not part of OWL but maybe they have something like that anyhow. They do have materials for K/1st graders, so maybe you could obtain those somehow and find some ideas in there. I'll probably be facing the same situation in about 3 years.

I'm really not an expert on the program, it's just something I've read a lot about because it was a major part of our family's decision to join our UU church. Our state board of education has endorsed the abstinence-based approach for quite a few years now and I just don't trust the public schools to do a decent job of giving kids the information they need, not only to avoid pregnancy or disease, but also to have fulfilling relationships when they become adults. It amazes me that it has fallen to religious organizations to pick up the slack, but the UUA and the UCC have really stepped up to the plate.

 

[applewuud]

OWL has a separate curriculum for adult education, and encourages parents to take that before their kids start the program. It's an excellent piece of work, and a prerequisite for OWL instructors I believe.

Parental involvement is required--sex is a family value, after all. A few years ago CBS tried to whip up a controversy about "the church that shows pornography to kids". A mother who sent her daughter to AYS (the program before OWL was developed) didn't look at the materials or attend orientation first, then was shocked at the "dirty pictures" her daughter saw and went to the press. She had no idea of the context or the lesson plan, and apparently didn't want to know. OWL is pretty strict about making sure parents are involved in educating your kids...they don't want us dumping our kids off at church and leaving it to the teachers.

 

[Stairs In My House]

Wow, I wonder if somebody at NPR reads this forum! This story was just on this morning, featuring an OWL class at a UCC church! Definitely worth a listen, but be prepared to shake your head sadly at the abstinence-only counterpoint (though there is a good laugh to be had with the Southern Baptist guy who uses sports and car anecdotes to teach his church's version of sex ed; a real gender stereotype extravaganza!).

 

[des]

Yep, there are "ears" over here, or so it seems.
This was great. I'm not sure why it needed "balancing" since they already talked about it being a response to abstinence only sex ed. (And boy has the media covered that little darling!) I did get a kick out of the testostrone charged images too though.

Maybe I'm wrong to think I wouldn't want to teach kids at church.

--des

Wow, I wonder if somebody at NPR reads this forum! This story was just on this morning, featuring an OWL class at a UCC church! Definitely worth a listen, but be prepared to shake your head sadly at the abstinence-only counterpoint (though there is a good laugh to be had with the Southern Baptist guy who uses sports and car anecdotes to teach his church's version of sex ed; a real gender stereotype extravaganza!).

 

[Stairs In My House]

I did get a kick out of the testostrone charged images too though.

I'm sure they were very progressive compared to his predecessor's fishing and woodworking analogies.

 

[lilithu]

Hey des, did you notice that my lovely new avatar has cat eyes?:bkcat: She has a black tail that twitches around too, which you can't see in the pic.

(The tail came as a set with a pair of cat ears, but they made her look like a playboy bunny...erm, kitten... so the ears had to go away.)

 

[des]

No, but now that you mention it, maybe why I like her so well.

--des

Hey des, did you notice that my lovely new avatar has cat eyes?:bkcat: She has a black tail that twitches around too, which you can't see in the pic.

(The tail came as a set with a pair of cat ears, but they made her look like a playboy bunny...erm, kitten... so the ears had to go away.)

 

[lilithu]

Just to let yall know, our President Bill Sinkford is meeting with Congressman Pete Stark from Cali today. I don't know if they've met before, but I'm pretty sure it will be the first time they've met since Stark made the news a couple of weeks ago declaring that he is a Unitarian who does not believe in a supreme being.

Not sure why I'm thrilled by this meeting, but I am, so I thought I'd share it wit yall.

 

[lilithu]

Wow, I wonder if somebody at NPR reads this forum! This story was just on this morning, featuring an OWL class at a UCC church! Definitely worth a listen, but be prepared to shake your head sadly at the abstinence-only counterpoint (though there is a good laugh to be had with the Southern Baptist guy who uses sports and car anecdotes to teach his church's version of sex ed; a real gender stereotype extravaganza!).

Hmm.... we keep getting press on this. Maybe we should make a separate thread just for our sex ed stuff.

http://www.contracostatimes.com/mld/cctimes/16974911.htm

 

[BrandonE]

Monday night we completed a 12 week course on The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. It was a really great course. It was a class of about 12 people with two facilitators, taught from a book that was developed specifically for the purpose (though I can't recall the name, as we just used handouts and not the book). It did a lot to build community and bring the classmembers closer together, and both the book and the class offered really great spiritual insight. I'd read the book about 8 years ago, but I swear I must have been asleep, as I recall only the earliest parts of it (maybe I never even finished it before...). However, the book was EXACTLY what I needed at this point in my journey.

Fantastic.

 

[BrandonE]

I led our "New UU" class (membership orientation) last night and really really enjoyed it. It's always great to have new people coming in and here their stories. We've grown a lot in the last year. I've just been attending a year, but it's been a big one. If all of this current class joins, it would be >10&#37; increase in our membership! We have about 103 members now, and there are 14 folks in the class.

 

[applewuud]

Where did most of these "New UUs" come from? What attracted them to your church?

In your orientation, what kinds of subjects do you share? Do you talk about different theological perspectives, or more practical day-to-day issues?