The demise of laugher

[Amechania]

Tell me one of those jokes and make me laugh, please do. I need it.

“[FONT=Verdana, sans-serif]What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is WHAT WE DO.” John Ruskin (1819 - 1900) [/FONT]

This black guy is using the urinal at a local bar when this white guy comes up to the next stall to relieve himself. The white guy glances over the partition and notices the black man's oversized penis. Astonished, the white guy asks, "Man, how do you guys get them that big!?" Annoyed, the black guy says, "Well, you gotta tie a brick to it." A week later the two run into each other at the bar and the black guy asks sarcastically, "Did you take my advice?" The white guy answers, "I sure did, and its working!" The black guy is surprised and asks, "You mean it's gotten bigger?" The white guy shakes his head and answers, "Not yet, but it already turned black!"

 

[Revoltingest]

Tell me one of those jokes and make me laugh, please do. I need it.

A rough & tough guy walks into a bar, & spies a jar full of money. He asks, "Hey, barkeep, what's the money about?". The bartender says "That's the prize money for passing 3 challenges. You put in your $20, & I give'm to ya. You successfully complete'm, & you get all the money". The guy puts in his $20, saying "Sounds good...whadda I gotta do?". The bartender lists them:
"Knock out our bouncer, Bubba.
Pull the abscessed tooth from Spike, the pit bull out in the back yard.
And finally, make love my 90 year old mother upstairs."
The guy nods approvingly, makes a "hush" sign, sneaks up behind Bubba, & cold cocks him.
Then he proceeds out back, from where a great commotion arises....barking, snarling, &
screams of agony which subside after a while to mere pitiful yelping.
The guy returns to the bar & asks, "Now, where's the old broad with the abscessed tooth?".

 

[Vinayaka]

"Doc, I'm seeing spots when I close my eyes."
"Have you seen a doctor?"
"No. Just spots."

 

[Vinayaka]

In Revoltistan there are 4 kinds of orgasms: Positve, negative, religious, and fake. And to top it off, here's how you tell.

Positive .....shee says, "oh, oh, yes, yes yes!
Negative ..... she says, "oh, oh, no , no, no!"
Religious ..... she says, "oh, ooh, God, God!"
Fake ..... she says







"Oh, Revoltingest."

 

[Revoltingest]

How do you know if Vinayaka has been using your word processor?




There's Wite-Out on the screen where he made mistakes.

 

[Vinayaka]

How do you know if Vinayaka has been using your word processor?
There's Wite-Out on the screen where he made mistakes.

Good thing Boss comes along and cleans it fer me each morning. Tutherwise I couldn't use it. But the she always buys more if I put it n the list.

Revolt's truck is a Rolls-Kinardly




Rolls down one hill, and kinardly make it up the next.

 

[Revoltingest]

Vinayaka was once riding in a plane next to a wealthy looking old Texan.
They struck up a conversation, & the Texan was bragging about how it
takes him half a day to drive from the road to his ranch house. Vinayaka
said, "Yeah, I have a car like that too!".

 

[factseeker88]

Vinayaka was once riding in a plane next to a wealthy looking old Texan.
They struck up a conversation, & the Texan was bragging about how it
takes him half a day to drive from the road to his ranch house. Vinayaka
said, "Yeah, I have a car like that too!".

Yeah, I laughed at that one sixty years ago, It was funny then

Here's another Texan Joke I laughed at around the same time....

A Texan in New york said to a new Yorker who bragged about the size of a building.

"Why, we have out houses bigger than that in Texas."

"Yeah, you need them." the New Yorker shot back.

“[FONT=Verdana, sans-serif]What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is WHAT WE DO.” John Ruskin (1819 - 1900) [/FONT]

 

[Vinayaka]

Sixty years ago. How old are you?

 

[Father Heathen]

At one time there was humor, funny jokes we could laugh at, but not now. Today all we can expect is cynicism, sarcasm, and gotcha. No more knee slapping or gut busting laughter.

“What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is WHAT WE DO.” John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

I think the world only gets funnier. All that's missing from the evening news is stock cartoon sound effects.

 

[Revoltingest]

Know why the Alamo had so many heroes?




It didn't have a back door.

 

[YmirGF]

Your humor sounds more like cynicism to me, which is all right if it makes you laugh.

Well you do sound like a bit of a downer. Not to worry though, you certainly make me laugh.

 

[DreadFish]

I think that, maybe, you're just having a hard time finding humor anymore. Maybe it's you or maybe your sense of humor is just different than the mainstream. I see humor everywhere still. I think that the sense of humor might be crappy in a lot of places, but it doesn't mean it's not there, it just doesn't conform to my brand of dry, sarcastic, situational humor

If you want to laugh, I recommend reading Cracked articles online or looking at Engrish Funny. Those are some of my favorites and i've been reading cracked articles every day for the past week :thud: