I don't know where I'm going with this so feel free to share your thoughts or feelings!
And gently would be much appreciated.
Since you don’t know where you’re going with it, and I don’t know where you’re coming from, then I’m not sure this response will do, but I would like to offer it as something to think about because it might be of some value to you, later if not now. I learned it from a theology professor in a class at our parish that discussed the properties of the soul. It has helped me understand myself better and make better decisions, especially when it comes to doing the right thing and resisting temptation.
So anyway, the soul, or the person, if you prefer, is not just head (mind) and heart (emotions). There are three distinct components influencing our behavior, which were designed by God to work in proper balance with each other. They don’t always do that in our fallen nature, but they can do it with a little effort and our Lord’s grace.
The components are (from bottom to top, as in lower to higher self):
Desire (can also be called the emotions or affects, meaning to have or demonstrate a liking for something.) – We want food, money, a new car, love, sex. revenge, or whatever. Good or bad, there is always something we want.
Intellect – The intellect’s job as it relates to desire is to determine whether that thing we want is a good thing or a bad thing; good for us or not; good for us at this specific time or not, etc. The professor’s simple example involved having a piece of cake or two or three. I could say that the first piece would be good for me, but maybe not a second one immediately after that, and probably not a third. Everything God has made for us is good, but not necessarily good for us in whatever quantity we want or at any time we want it or under just any circumstance. Wine is good, but getting drunk is not. Marital relations are good, but adultery and fornication are not. The conscience is part of the intellect, and tells us what is right and what is wrong, even if we don’t want to hear it. The intellect can function as God intended, or it can function as Satan temps it to, such as to bypass the conscience by justifying what we know is wrong or excusing ourselves from doing what we know is right.
Will – The will is the boss, or is supposed to be. This is where decisions are to be made, whether they satisfy the desire or not. The will is guided by the intellect and has authority and power over what we do or don’t do. Turning away from a habitual sin is an act of the will. Forgiveness is an act of the will, as is praying for the welfare and salvation of our enemies. Willful acts of selfless love or charity/agape are pleasing to God even when they don’t correspond with the emotions because the will can remain good and constant even as emotions change or become uncontrollable. The ultimate function of the will is to align with God’s will. And when that happens, desire, intellect, and will are in the most perfect harmony with each other.
When I first learned about these things, I didn’t see any great significance in them, but the more I thought about it, the more I saw how their imbalance in my own life had resulted in long-term patterns of flawed thinking, bad habits, self-destructive behavior, impurity, and sin. I was amazed by the results of just asking Jesus for his help and then exercising the power of my own will to overcome constant temptations. Everything about it has been easier than I thought it would be.
