the lie that men should never get help with sickness

[Shadow Wolf]

No, it was harsh, because you were making assumptions about the OP, who is just a person talking about his illness. That's not cool, IMO. He needs empathy and understanding IMO, not being accused of being a fool, or stubborn, just because of his gender. This is sexism.

To quote the OP:

As a husband I battle real bad with pride. I found out in 2014 that I have fibromyalgia. Of course it was my wife who made me go get help to begin with. Like many guys I dealt with the pride issue. I was way to prideful to admit I needed the help that I needed. Plus I believed the lie that as a guy I had to be strong and could not get help. I had to hold it inside until it nearly killed me. Funny how so many of us guys battle with that. Pride can be a good thing but it can be a bad thing as well.

It is here, Western and especially American culture where we expect such things from men. They're aren't supposed to be sensitive, caring, and emotional, they're supposed to be rough, rugged, and tough as nails and not display emotion unless it's anger or sexual lust. This is a very real thing, and it does have real consequences, such as the experience of the OP. Many men are like that, because it is what is expected to be of them, and this results in many men being diagnosed once it's too late to get any help or relief or cure with medical interventions, and they die. Just because this foolish "Cowboy" arrogance has put men into a position of being stubborn even to the point of going to a doctor, and statistically, yes, men are indeed much more likely to die from terminal illness than a woman just because of this stubbornness that has them going to the doctor only after it's too late, if at all. This is a real trend, and it takes a real toll on the psychological and physical health on many men.
I didn't intent to come off as harsh, but stating what is, and how it is an outrage that we continue to allow it to happen.

 

[FTNZ]

To quote the OP:

It is here, Western and especially American culture where we expect such things from men. They're aren't supposed to be sensitive, caring, and emotional, they're supposed to be rough, rugged, and tough as nails and not display emotion unless it's anger or sexual lust. This is a very real thing, and it does have real consequences, such as the experience of the OP. Many men are like that, because it is what is expected to be of them, and this results in many men being diagnosed once it's too late to get any help or relief or cure with medical interventions, and they die. Just because this foolish "Cowboy" arrogance has put men into a position of being stubborn even to the point of going to a doctor, and statistically, yes, men are indeed much more likely to die from terminal illness than a woman just because of this stubbornness that has them going to the doctor only after it's too late, if at all. This is a real trend, and it takes a real toll on the psychological and physical health on many men.
I didn't intent to come off as harsh, but stating what is, and how it is an outrage that we continue to allow it to happen.

You might want to be more careful in future how you word your posts, so that you don't come off as harsh unintentionally. Your political views are one thing, but basic kindness to an individual is another. It's a good idea to reflect on whether we are making assumptions and generalisations, too, lest we become the very thing we are trying to fight against.

 

[BenTheBeliever]

These days kids are able to be diagnosed with fibro, which is great because it means they can get treatment sooner.

I think o had it as a kid

To quote the OP:

It is here, Western and especially American culture where we expect such things from men. They're aren't supposed to be sensitive, caring, and emotional, they're supposed to be rough, rugged, and tough as nails and not display emotion unless it's anger or sexual lust. This is a very real thing, and it does have real consequences, such as the experience of the OP. Many men are like that, because it is what is expected to be of them, and this results in many men being diagnosed once it's too late to get any help or relief or cure with medical interventions, and they die. Just because this foolish "Cowboy" arrogance has put men into a position of being stubborn even to the point of going to a doctor, and statistically, yes, men are indeed much more likely to die from terminal illness than a woman just because of this stubbornness that has them going to the doctor only after it's too late, if at all. This is a real trend, and it takes a real toll on the psychological and physical health on many men.
I didn't intent to come off as harsh, but stating what is, and how it is an outrage that we continue to allow it to happen.

 

[BenTheBeliever]

Yes it does have that component. Living with chronic pain and other symptoms is enough to make anyone have depression and anxiety issues. Hugs.

Thanks

 

[BenTheBeliever]

That's why I said it's arrogance. Pride knows when to ask for help. Arrogance is foolish stubbornness - and that is exactly how our culture conditions men to be: a bunch of damn stubborn fools.

Last time I check pride does not know when to ask for help. Pride often makes the person not want to ask for help. Jmo

 

[Jonathan Ainsley Bain]

With respect, your suggestions are not based on scientific evidence.

Fibromyalgia is a medical condition about which quite a lot is now known. Unfortunately it is a condition that attracts a lot of attention from people selling unscientific supposed treatments and dietary plans, which have no adequate evidence of effectiveness or safety. People with this condition need science-based recommendations from appropriately qualified people, and they need empathy from others. I am not a medical doctor, so I offer them my empathy.

The wiki article clearly states that its cause is unknown.
The symptoms are all the same as symptoms from dietary conditions
such as irritable bow syndrome. (eg)

You did not read the link.

 

[Jonathan Ainsley Bain]

This g is I have had this pain since I was a kid. My legs would hurt all the time as a kid. People would tell me it's growing pains. It got worse as I got older. I had to work when I was single before I got m!married so I just ignore the pain until July of 2014 when all hell broke loose on my body

Nice to know that after you got married you did not have to work!
Get yourself a sugar-mommy, eh?

I firmly believe that 80% of incurable ailments are primarily caused by parasites living on food types.
I am nearly 50 and last went to the doctor a quarter of a century ago for a broken leg.

I have cured myself of countless symptoms simply by changing my diet until the problem goes away.
The list of ailments would be so long and ugly, that I'll spare you and me the pain and just say
it must be more than 50 different yuckinesses that have gone away for good.

Speak to a variety of dietitians.
It is not so easy to pinpoint just how to change your diet,
because it varies so much from person to person and year to year.

But if you have not tried zero carbs for 4 months,
then you really cannot say you've tried.

Many of my ailments had existed from childhood too.
Its like a new lease on life to be rid of something that had plagued you for 20 years.
Literally tears of joy.

 

[BenTheBeliever]

Nice to know that after you got married you did not have to work!
Get yourself a sugar-mommy, eh?

I firmly believe that 80% of incurable ailments are primarily caused by parasites living on food types.
I am nearly 50 and last went to the doctor a quarter of a century ago for a broken leg.

I have cured myself of countless symptoms simply by changing my diet until the problem goes away.
The list of ailments would be so long and ugly, that I'll spare you and me the pain and just say
it must be more than 50 different yuckinesses that have gone away for good.

Speak to a variety of dietitians.
It is not so easy to pinpoint just how to change your diet,
because it varies so much from person to person and year to year.

But if you have not tried zero carbs for 4 months,
then you really cannot say you've tried.

Many of my ailments had existed from childhood too.
Its like a new lease on life to be rid of something that had plagued you for 20 years.
Literally tears of joy.

Screw you. No I don't have a sugar mommy. My wife has bi polar and I take care of her. My mom also lives with us and has dementia and I take care of her as well. I put in 13 years at my job. I worked really hard and kept going when my body was dying on me. I ignore my pain until it got to the point I could not ignore it anymore. It sent me over a bad water fall. On a normal day I feel like I got the flu bug. It never goes away. On my bad days I can't even get off my bed. Unless you know what it is like to have fibro then don't judge me by making statements like that. you are not a doctor. you are just someone who thinks he knows it all.

 

[psychoslice]

That's why I said it's arrogance. Pride knows when to ask for help. Arrogance is foolish stubbornness - and that is exactly how our culture conditions men to be: a bunch of damn stubborn fools.

Yes so true, but fortunately many men are starting to change that silly way of thinking.

 

[BenTheBeliever]

The wiki article clearly states that its cause is unknown.
The symptoms are all the same as symptoms from dietary conditions
such as irritable bow syndrome. (eg)

You did not read the link.

There is a lot more to fibro. For example I feel like I have been in a bad car wreck. Plus feel like I have had a bad work out. My flesh often feels like it is being ripped of my body. My back feels like it a sun burn all over it. Even a rubbing from my wife hurts like hell. I have to take five hot baths a day just not to hurt. I take 800 mg of Gabaptine twice daily for pain. That is 1600 mg. At night I have real bad spasms and have to sleep in a chair sometimes just to sleep. Don't even get me started in fibro fog that effects your mind. Can't even think straight. When I try to explain things to people I cant even talk right. I forget names and place and often what I am trying to say. I used to write movie scripts now I am lucky to get one page written in 8 hours

 

[Smart_Guy]

As a husband I battle real bad with pride. I found out in 2014 that I have fibromyalgia. Of course it was my wife who made me go get help to begin with. Like many guys I dealt with the pride issue. I was way to prideful to admit I needed the help that I needed. Plus I believed the lie that as a guy I had to be strong and could not get help. I had to hold it inside until it nearly killed me. Funny how so many of us guys battle with that. Pride can be a good thing but it can be a bad thing as well.

I do believe that there are gender specific prides, however, I don't believe the subject case is part of it. It is perfectly okay for typical men to seek help for anything, not just sickness. The lie would be in thinking we men are perfect and take pride the wrong way. It is even perfectly okay for men to cry for what's really worth it to cry for. Even the Prophet of Islam, the religion people say based on male oppression and tyrant-supremacy, ran to his wife's lap seeking refuge from fear, and it's a story we Muslims are proud of.

 

[Jonathan Ainsley Bain]

Screw you. No I don't have a sugar mommy. My wife has bi polar and I take care of her. My mom also lives with us and has dementia and I take care of her as well. I put in 13 years at my job. I worked really hard and kept going when my body was dying on me. I ignore my pain until it got to the point I could not ignore it anymore. It sent me over a bad water fall. On a normal day I feel like I got the flu bug. It never goes away. On my bad days I can't even get off my bed. Unless you know what it is like to have fibro then don't judge me by making statements like that. you are not a doctor. you are just someone who thinks he knows it all.

My humblest apologies, what you said was ambiguous.

 

[Jonathan Ainsley Bain]

There is a lot more to fibro. For example I feel like I have been in a bad car wreck. Plus feel like I have had a bad work out. My flesh often feels like it is being ripped of my body. My back feels like it a sun burn all over it. Even a rubbing from my wife hurts like hell. I have to take five hot baths a day just not to hurt. I take 800 mg of Gabaptine twice daily for pain. That is 1600 mg. At night I have real bad spasms and have to sleep in a chair sometimes just to sleep. Don't even get me started in fibro fog that effects your mind. Can't even think straight. When I try to explain things to people I cant even talk right. I forget names and place and often what I am trying to say. I used to write movie scripts now I am lucky to get one page written in 8 hours

Well I have just read several articles, here is one

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/a...hat-chronic-pain-sufferers-need-to-avoid.aspx

which are all in agreement with what I was saying,
this one specifically mentions sugar
(hence my inappropriate attempt at humor earlier - so sorry - I really thought you'd see the funny side)

If you have not tried a rigid dietary approach,
then you will be avoiding a real chance at health.

The point being that no single diet is universal
because every person has a unique biological context.

But the general principle is eat the few things that you feel are most certain
are not problematic based on reading all the internet articles associate with
such a search like this:

"fibromyalgia diet foods to avoid"

So I reckon
meat, fish, salt, green veg, eggs, plain yoghurt
these are all good

Avoid
anything with complex lists of ingredients, like processed foods,
but bread is typically bad generally, as is gluten, sugar, and lactose

its not a permanent diet, and after 1 month if you see no benefits
then try some other combinations

 

[BenTheBeliever]

My humblest apologies, what you said was ambiguous.

People need to learn not to judge people unless they have walk a mile in their shoes. I am used to people judging me cause on the out side I lok normal but inside it is a whole other story. Been that way my whole life.

 

[BenTheBeliever]

Well I have just read several articles, here is one

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/a...hat-chronic-pain-sufferers-need-to-avoid.aspx

which are all in agreement with what I was saying,
this one specifically mentions sugar
(hence my inappropriate attempt at humor earlier - so sorry - I really thought you'd see the funny side)

If you have not tried a rigid dietary approach,
then you will be avoiding a real chance at health.

The point being that no single diet is universal
because every person has a unique biological context.

But the general principle is eat the few things that you feel are most certain
are not problematic based on reading all the internet articles associate with
such a search like this:

"fibromyalgia diet foods to avoid"

So I reckon
meat, fish, salt, green veg, eggs, plain yoghurt
these are all good

Avoid
anything with complex lists of ingredients, like processed foods,
but bread is typically bad generally, as is gluten, sugar, and lactose

its not a permanent diet, and after 1 month if you see no benefits
then try some other combinations

There are some people who are health who eat healthy and still have this sickness real bad. My grandma might of had this and it sounds like I might of gotten it from her. If it is in my genes then even if I was on a diet there is still a big chance I would get. Same with my wife and her bi polar. Fibro is not just a physical sickness it is a mental one as well

 

[Jumi]

Web MD has nice information on trying elimination diet. Talk to your doctor, if you plan on a diet.

http://www.webmd.com/allergies/guide/allergies-elimination-diet

 

[Jonathan Ainsley Bain]

There are some people who are health who eat healthy and still have this sickness real bad. My grandma might of had this and it sounds like I might of gotten it from her. If it is in my genes then even if I was on a diet there is still a big chance I would get. Same with my wife and her bi polar. Fibro is not just a physical sickness it is a mental one as well

Any pervasive health problem is going to cause depression.
Like I said, what is healthy for some is not for others due to individuality.

Apples and grapes, for eg, are very high in sugar.
Its not a permanent diet either.
Just try for 1 month.

Also orange veg, like pumpkin are sugars, but most see them as impossible to be unhealthy.
But for some they are.

 

[BenTheBeliever]

Any pervasive health problem is going to cause depression.
Like I said, what is healthy for some is not for others due to individuality.

Apples and grapes, for eg, are very high in sugar.
Its not a permanent diet either.
Just try for 1 month.

Also orange veg, like pumpkin are sugars, but most see them as impossible to be unhealthy.
But for some they are.

I ate healthy all the time as a kid and I still hurt. As I got older it got worse. I just learned to ignore it until it became a cancer in my spirit

 

[allfoak]

Diet and herbs @BenTheBeliever
I cured Lyme disease that way.

If you can, stop eating anything but organic.
The pesticides and GMOs are everywhere.
The herbs are needed because for something like what you have it is necessary to get a little help for the body.
The diet will help but for you it won't be enough until you get rid of it.
Then just stick to a good vegetarian diet and you will be the happiest, healthiest guy on your street.

 

[Wirey]

As a husband I battle real bad with pride. I found out in 2014 that I have fibromyalgia. Of course it was my wife who made me go get help to begin with. Like many guys I dealt with the pride issue. I was way to prideful to admit I needed the help that I needed. Plus I believed the lie that as a guy I had to be strong and could not get help. I had to hold it inside until it nearly killed me. Funny how so many of us guys battle with that. Pride can be a good thing but it can be a bad thing as well.

Pfftttt! I got killed in a sword swallowing accident, but I walked it off and hit the gym. Football!