The Line Went Dead...

[EveryDay]

Hey there all. I'm just curious to know if anyone else has recently felt a disconnect of sorts? About a year and a half ago, I was doing daily study, prayer and Bible study. Then my world just broke apart around me. I won't go into the details, but seriously it's been a REALLY rough time. I kept clinging on and working on my end of the relationship, but somewhere along the way, it's as if I was on the phone and the line went dead. You can only listen to silence for so long, so I hung up. I've picked it up a few times, but it's still dead...no response what.so.ever.

Questions began to surface, that I just can't seem to get anything more than cop out answers on and I don't feel any kind of connection, or even presence in my life anymore. I don't feel convicted of anything, I also no longer feel guilty or fearful. It's as if I've been completely cut off. So again my question, has anyone else been going through something similar lately? Or have you gone through it in the past?

Would love to know anyone else's experience with this. It's seriously making me question everything I thought I knew.

 

[4consideration]

Yes, I have experience similar things -- actually several times in my life, not just once.

I think it can be a good thing, as it can prompt you to re-evaluate everything you think and why you think it. I think it may be part of a broadening of perspective where the previous boundaries of thought/belief sort of shatter and it can be a way of opening up to include more of life. I think at such times, it may also be an indication of an opportunity to seek greater connection with other aspects of life, like people -- or something like that.

Really, IMO, if we got and constantly remained in the experience of getting every single thing we could ever think to want from an internal relationship with God, we might not reach out and connect with others and the opportunity of sharing love with them. I think that actually part of it. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Shiranui117]

It happens to people all the time, and it's perfectly natural--just as with the seasons, where there are "hot" periods and "cold" periods, lush and lively times along with dry and dead times, so is our relationship with God. Sometimes these spiritual dry periods last for years before the pendulum swings back towards a more "alive" state. It's nothing to be concerned about. Continue to put in what you can to your spiritual life, and all will be well. Such things are natural in any relationship.

 

[KBond]

You are probably just enduring some sort of test. Keep doing what you are doing!

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God." --Ps. 42:1

 

[EveryDay]

I suppose the hardest part is the part where it feels like there's nothing I can do to connect. I'm seeking help and not receiving any, in any aspect. Whether it's financial, spiritual, relationships, parenting.
N o t h i n g.
I watch others, getting their prayers answered, and then it frustrates me that I haven't heard a peep in over a year. Which leaves room for the questions to start coming to the surface. Like, why does a loving God pick favorites? Why would he bless some, but not others?

I do have to say one thing that I really enjoy in all of this, I don't miss the guilt and the fear at all.

 

[Shiranui117]

Your last statement provoked a question in my mind: Back when you felt an active relationship with God, what was that relationship like? What was it based on? Was it a quid pro quo situation? You've mentioned twice now no longer feeling guilt or fear. Were fear and guilt central themes in your relationship with God?

 

[EveryDay]

You are probably just enduring some sort of test. Keep doing what you are doing!

That thought has definitely crossed my mind, but in the mean time, it is affecting other people too, especially my kids and I'm having trouble understanding why that would be allowed to happen. Since they are completely innocent bystanders in the whole situation.

 

[EveryDay]

Your last statement provoked a question in my mind: Back when you felt an active relationship with God, what was that relationship like? What was it based on? Was it a quid pro quo situation? You've mentioned twice now no longer feeling guilt or fear. Were fear and guilt central themes in your relationship with God?

That's just it. I am/was in a very "laws" based Christian religion and it's a constant cloud over your head. I feel very strongly, that isn't what it's supposed to be like. I can't explain it but the whole thing just leaves a very strong distaste in my mouth now.

The time I'm thinking of that made me feel like I had really opened a new door, was about asking for forgiveness and making sure you were right before God and as I did that it seemed like the closer I got and the closer I felt. Yet then everything fell apart around me and it has just continued to rain on me for the last year and a half. At first I kept doing the things I had been doing, but no matter what I did, the connection was gone??

 

[Shiranui117]

That's just it. I am/was in a very "laws" based Christian religion and it's a constant cloud over your head. I feel very strongly, that isn't what it's supposed to be like. I can't explain it but the whole thing just leaves a very strong distaste in my mouth now.

That's your problem. Some denominations have a "carrot and stick" teaching of salvation--Hell is the stick, Heaven is the carrot. Try and find a denomination that places more emphasis on having a personal relationship with God based on love, not fear of punishment for not doing every little thing right. I think you know by now that it will be extremely helpful to move away from such a rigid, dead "spiritual' life towards something a bit more dynamic and organic spiritual life.

If you're still going with the same prayer rule and the same practices that you used back when you felt insecure in your relationship with God, you could get a new prayer rule and change what you've been doing, or at least tweak it. That might help, too.

The time I'm thinking of that made me feel like I had really opened a new door, was about asking for forgiveness and making sure you were right before God and as I did that it seemed like the closer I got and the closer I felt. Yet then everything fell apart around me and it has just continued to rain on me for the last year and a half.

I know this is personal, but could you give us as much information as you feel comfortable giving about how everything "fell apart" around you? We would be able to give a lot more help and advice if we knew exactly what you were talking about. Regardless, my prayers are with you all the same.

At first I kept doing the things I had been doing, but no matter what I did, the connection was gone??

It might be the case that you need to re-connect with God on new terms--not according to your previous static, dead legalistic relationship with Him, but on a more dynamic, living, deep and personal level. Perhaps He wants you to re-boot the relationship with Him on more real terms?

You can try praying to God as if it were the first time you had ever spoken to Him. Introduce yourself, ask Him what He's like, and tell Him about everything that's been happening to you, what you've done and how it's made you feel--and don't stop until you've fully expressed yourself, whatever that expression may entail. And then ask Him to open Himself to you, and yourself to Him.

 

[KBond]

That thought has definitely crossed my mind, but in the mean time, it is affecting other people too, especially my kids and I'm having trouble understanding why that would be allowed to happen. Since they are completely innocent bystanders in the whole situation.

Romans 8:28 states, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Even though you may not see how it is possible, God is working this situation together for your good. His way is higher. I don't mean to diminish your feelings or your care for your family. I just think God's gonna turn this around and bless you and your family double once you have withstood the test or something like that. Just be patient and see what He has in store for you is all I am saying. God is good.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

It's called "the dark night of the soul."

Search for it on google and/or ask your pastor about it.

 

[Norrin-6-]

The time I'm thinking of that made me feel like I had really opened a new door, was about asking for forgiveness and making sure you were right before God and as I did that it seemed like the closer I got and the closer I felt.

This is probably the closest way I would describe the "relationship with God" that I had. What came out of it after thinking long and hard, was the possibility that one of the reasons for some of my sins was that I longed for the feeling of forgiveness. Thus wanting that forgiveness, I would actually sin more than I would if I didn't rely on it so much. That's just how I began to reflect on what I was doing at the time. It's a very personal thing, I can't stress enough that I only speak for myself. Probably better to forgive others.

Yet then everything fell apart around me and it has just continued to rain on me for the last year and a half. At first I kept doing the things I had been doing, but no matter what I did, the connection was gone??

I think my connection started go south in a very slight way after I began to think of my interactions as this mechanism (i.e. making myself feel better) I was inadvertently calling on.

I still had a firm conviction in God mind you. As of now I do not, I have very strong doubts. But had I kept using magical thinking, I don't even know what my relationship with God would be like today.

Shouldn't talk all about me though, but you did ask if people had gone through it and I have.

You are in a good place to have lost the guilt, because there are a ton of questions you could ask that a lot of Christians wouldn't feel comfortable asking themselves. The best advice I can give is not to worry about feeling like you don't have answers. It's easy to admit you don't know. It is a virtue when used correctly. My personal feeling is that while it's OK to take the easy way out, sometimes it's just as admirable to at least try to answer a question. This is why I don't have issues with how a person labels themselves. I feel more comfortable as an agnostic but without a belief in God I may be labeled atheist and I still consider myself as such if people are asking questions.

I'm sure I can add something more fruitful to this thread in a while, I know I went off on a tangent. Peace to you.

 

[EveryDay]

It's called "the dark night of the soul."

Search for it on google and/or ask your pastor about it.

I did find a really good article on it. There were some really good points in there that did help a lot. Thanks =)

 

[EveryDay]

I know this is personal, but could you give us as much information as you feel comfortable giving about how everything "fell apart" around you? We would be able to give a lot more help and advice if we knew exactly what you were talking about. Regardless, my prayers are with you all the same.

I started writing it all out, and it was outright exhausting. Let's just say: spouse had an affair, then a conversion, then backslid back to old ways after I became pregnant again, two moves, loss of income two weeks before baby was born, surgical birth with a very difficult recovery, large amounts of financial stress, three children under 5 and no help, loss of safe vehicles, loveless marriage, heading toward bankruptcy.

No matter how hard I strive to replace my income, doors keep getting slammed in my face for over 6 months now. I would join training courses and do the same work as others, watch them have massive success and yet there I sat, nothing, even though I was doing the same work.

I know there's more but I just can't focus on the down side of this much more...I think that's about the gist for now.

 

[greentwiga]

My wife started having affairs and then we went through a messy divorce. I ended up losin my wife, my career, my house, my money, my freedom, and even my pets. At one point, I was living in a broken down car parked in a trash heap, living on food from the soup kitchen. I pictured the cat hanging on to the end of the rope. I was just waiting.

I learned that God said, "I loved you so much that I died for you. If you only love me when I reward you for being faithful, you have missed it. Look at the people around you. They are hurting. They are divorced, homeless, dying of cancer, or battling hatred. These people can't relate to my servants who have a wonderful life - job, house, money, stable family, etc. Sometimes I ask my servants to go through these times out of love for these people. Are you willing to suffer for these peoples' sake?" I finally said "yes Lord, I am willing because I love them like you do." He happened to restore much of what I lost, but I know people who said yes and never had it restored. It didn't matter. God was using both to reach them. If I had stayed a "gimme" Christian, I probably would have lost my faith.

 

[Pegg]

Hey there all. I'm just curious to know if anyone else has recently felt a disconnect of sorts? About a year and a half ago, I was doing daily study, prayer and Bible study. Then my world just broke apart around me. I won't go into the details, but seriously it's been a REALLY rough time. I kept clinging on and working on my end of the relationship, but somewhere along the way, it's as if I was on the phone and the line went dead. You can only listen to silence for so long, so I hung up. I've picked it up a few times, but it's still dead...no response what.so.ever.

Questions began to surface, that I just can't seem to get anything more than cop out answers on and I don't feel any kind of connection, or even presence in my life anymore. I don't feel convicted of anything, I also no longer feel guilty or fearful. It's as if I've been completely cut off. So again my question, has anyone else been going through something similar lately? Or have you gone through it in the past?

Would love to know anyone else's experience with this. It's seriously making me question everything I thought I knew.

I think your experience is a very common one. I've also had a similar experience many years ago where i felt that I was completely alienated from God. It wasnt until someone showed me a particular scripture that got me thinking about why i might have been feeling that way:

“Draw close to God, and he will draw close to you.”—JAMES 4:8
It was explained to me that we have only two options. We can either draw 'close' to God or we draw 'away' from him.
For some reason, we do have a tendency to drift away from spiritual things. But it was comforting to know that its never God who pulls away from us, we are always the first to pull away and we do that in various ways. We do that when we give up in prayer, when we stop thinking and meditating about God, when we stop reading his word the Bible, when we start chasing after things of the world...it could even be that w'eve allowed 'doubts' to affect our thinking and our faith in God.

there are so many reasons why we get into this situation and its important to really analyze your life and try to figure out what has drawn you away.

And there is one more scripture that really encouraged me to start making more of an effort to come back to God:

Psalm 145:18*Jehovah is near to all those calling upon him,
To all those who call upon him in trueness.

God is always 'near' to us if we take the initiative by calling upon him. But that requires some decisive action. Calling on God involves putting into practice his requirements and submitting ourselves to him. Learning what he requires is an important step to take, then applying what you learn, praying constantly, keep thinking upon him and he will take notice of the effort you are making.

 

[Dinner123]

Hey there all. I'm just curious to know if anyone else has recently felt a disconnect of sorts? About a year and a half ago, I was doing daily study, prayer and Bible study. Then my world just broke apart around me. I won't go into the details, but seriously it's been a REALLY rough time. I kept clinging on and working on my end of the relationship, but somewhere along the way, it's as if I was on the phone and the line went dead. You can only listen to silence for so long, so I hung up. I've picked it up a few times, but it's still dead...no response what.so.ever.

Questions began to surface, that I just can't seem to get anything more than cop out answers on and I don't feel any kind of connection, or even presence in my life anymore. I don't feel convicted of anything, I also no longer feel guilty or fearful. It's as if I've been completely cut off. So again my question, has anyone else been going through something similar lately? Or have you gone through it in the past?

Would love to know anyone else's experience with this. It's seriously making me question everything I thought I knew.

Well, are you depressed? If so that could be the cause of the way you feel. When you are depressed you may find it very difficult to feel connected to God. So, if that is the cause, then it's not because God hates you or something like that. You simply cannot feel right about anything really; because of your depression. So, hang in there and fight unbelief. I know you may even feel indifference and that could make you worry. But, that's also a part of the depression. Consider these as symptoms. Depression is often a test of people's faith. So, try to pass the test with a good grade as best you can. I know how depression feels, I speak from personal experience. It's often made me stumble and doubt.

Ignore all this if you are sure you aren't depressed at all.