Mr Spinkles
Mr
Do you believe the man is, must be, or ought to be the 'spiritual head' of the family?
Why or why not?
Why or why not?
-
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The Man as spiritual head of the family
- Thread starter Mr Spinkles
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Father Heathen
Veteran Member
Why would spirituality need a "head"?
No*s
Captain Obvious
I don't care about anyone outside the Church. It's their business, and it's none of mine.
Within the Church, doctrinally, yes, I do. Here, though, again, it's none of my business unless a) I am their spiritual father (which I am neither a priest nor spiritually gifted enough to become) or b) they ask me to (and then I'll likely tell them to go to somebody besides myself; I am absolutely unqualified to apply the Church's teachings. Applications are not always the same, and it requires an experienced eye to discern what ought and ought not be said and done).
We teach that people are made in the image of God, and not the other way around. So, we pattern our doctrines of the family on the doctrine of the Church. Christ is the head of the Church, and the man is the icon of Christ and assumes the same responsibilities. The woman does the same for the Church.
Another reason
I do dislike, however, when people take this to mean autocracy. Christ's example is in the Gospels, and it doesn't work anything like that.
I remember a story about a couple that couldn't get along who went to an old monk. The monk asked each one of them to come in and tell him their problem alone. Then, he called in the man, and he said, "Your wife is absolutely correct. You must serve and obey her in all things" and commanded that the husband say nothing about what he was told. Then he called in the wife, and he did the exact same thing with her. They obeyed the monk, and their marriage improved considerably.
The story not only illustrates that this can't be an authoritarian doctrine without breaking it, but also how important it is to consider each couple situationally. People aren't machines, and our applications are always different. I'm thankful I don't have to advise people on this sort of thing.
Within the Church, doctrinally, yes, I do. Here, though, again, it's none of my business unless a) I am their spiritual father (which I am neither a priest nor spiritually gifted enough to become) or b) they ask me to (and then I'll likely tell them to go to somebody besides myself; I am absolutely unqualified to apply the Church's teachings. Applications are not always the same, and it requires an experienced eye to discern what ought and ought not be said and done).
We teach that people are made in the image of God, and not the other way around. So, we pattern our doctrines of the family on the doctrine of the Church. Christ is the head of the Church, and the man is the icon of Christ and assumes the same responsibilities. The woman does the same for the Church.
Another reason
I do dislike, however, when people take this to mean autocracy. Christ's example is in the Gospels, and it doesn't work anything like that.
I remember a story about a couple that couldn't get along who went to an old monk. The monk asked each one of them to come in and tell him their problem alone. Then, he called in the man, and he said, "Your wife is absolutely correct. You must serve and obey her in all things" and commanded that the husband say nothing about what he was told. Then he called in the wife, and he did the exact same thing with her. They obeyed the monk, and their marriage improved considerably.
The story not only illustrates that this can't be an authoritarian doctrine without breaking it, but also how important it is to consider each couple situationally. People aren't machines, and our applications are always different. I'm thankful I don't have to advise people on this sort of thing.
AstralAkasha
Member
I don't think so, a man shouldn't be head of the family just because he is a man. A married couple should always be totally equal in every aspect, and that includes spiritually. A woman needs no more or less guidance than a man does.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
I agree with No's opening statement, "I don't care about anyone outside the Church - it's their business and none of mine."
So my beliefs are MY beliefs, for MY family - if they don't fit yours, don't assume I would impose them on you.
I do believe that as a Christian, my family should emulate, as much as possible, the examples that Christ gave to us to follow. I mean, I am a CHRISTian.
So, I look to the Bible for my guidance on this. I see Christ as the Head of the Church, and the Church as His bride. I see His unlimited love for His bride, His willingness to lay down His very life for her. I see His forgiveness, His tenderness, His faithfulness, and His great personal strength. I see His passion and His joy toward His bride. I also see His leadership and protection.
Wow, what a man! I want a man like that! If I had a man like that in my life, he could lead me anywhere and I'd gladly submit to his wisdom and guidance - because it would be based in his totally unselfish love and concern for me.
Whaddya know - I found one of those men and we are married! My husband leads our family, and guess what - he's qualified to lead. That's the important thing - this model only works when the leader is QUALIFIED. Unfortunately, our society doesn't seem to produce a lot of men who are qualified to lead their families down the street, let alone lead them spiritually.
But if you're lucky enough to be blessed with a man who loves you as Christ loved the church, then:
Submission isn't always a bad thing. After all, I can't think of anyone who doesn't answer to SOMEONE. Nearly everyone has some sort of authority figure in their lives. That doesn't mean we can't speak for ourselves, make most of our own decisions, and live full and rewarding lives.
Marriage isn't a 50/50 proposition. In my marriage, we both have our "areas of expertise." My husband may be "President" but I am a strong "Vice President."
And LOTS OF PERKS come along with that job!
So my beliefs are MY beliefs, for MY family - if they don't fit yours, don't assume I would impose them on you.
I do believe that as a Christian, my family should emulate, as much as possible, the examples that Christ gave to us to follow. I mean, I am a CHRISTian.
So, I look to the Bible for my guidance on this. I see Christ as the Head of the Church, and the Church as His bride. I see His unlimited love for His bride, His willingness to lay down His very life for her. I see His forgiveness, His tenderness, His faithfulness, and His great personal strength. I see His passion and His joy toward His bride. I also see His leadership and protection.
Wow, what a man! I want a man like that! If I had a man like that in my life, he could lead me anywhere and I'd gladly submit to his wisdom and guidance - because it would be based in his totally unselfish love and concern for me.
Whaddya know - I found one of those men and we are married! My husband leads our family, and guess what - he's qualified to lead. That's the important thing - this model only works when the leader is QUALIFIED. Unfortunately, our society doesn't seem to produce a lot of men who are qualified to lead their families down the street, let alone lead them spiritually.
But if you're lucky enough to be blessed with a man who loves you as Christ loved the church, then:
Submission isn't always a bad thing. After all, I can't think of anyone who doesn't answer to SOMEONE. Nearly everyone has some sort of authority figure in their lives. That doesn't mean we can't speak for ourselves, make most of our own decisions, and live full and rewarding lives.
Marriage isn't a 50/50 proposition. In my marriage, we both have our "areas of expertise." My husband may be "President" but I am a strong "Vice President."
And LOTS OF PERKS come along with that job!
Nanda
Polyanna
Precisely.
Green Gaia
Veteran Member
I think it's an outdated concept from a patriarchal society.
Charity
Let's go racing boys !
When it comes to family and home matters I believe that the man should be the spiritual leader of the house.
I think a lot of people take this to mean that a man is like a dictator and shall have the final word in any matter concerning the home. This is not the case it just means as spiritual leader the man shall always try to make sure that every thing in the home is handled in a way that would be pleasing to God. It does not mean that he would not take suggestions from his wife or implement her wishes. His job as spiritual leader would be to put God first in all matters and lead his family in prayer and the use of Christian values and principles in all decisions.
I think a lot of people take this to mean that a man is like a dictator and shall have the final word in any matter concerning the home. This is not the case it just means as spiritual leader the man shall always try to make sure that every thing in the home is handled in a way that would be pleasing to God. It does not mean that he would not take suggestions from his wife or implement her wishes. His job as spiritual leader would be to put God first in all matters and lead his family in prayer and the use of Christian values and principles in all decisions.
doppelganger
Through the Looking Glass
Personalities differ and not every man is suited to the role and not every woman is suited to not being the spiritual head of a relationship. In the long run, it's better for everyone to be honest with themselves rather than try to live up to a one-size-fits-all relationship mythology.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
The husband being the head to me simply means he is to love his wife(INCLUDING her head) sacrificially and care for her as if she were his own body..
Its not seperated..where he is "the head" and she is 'the body"..They are joined.They are interdependent.
Love
Dallas
Its not seperated..where he is "the head" and she is 'the body"..They are joined.They are interdependent.
Love
Dallas
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DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
It depends on the situation.....today I believe that the man is the Spiritual leader of the home......Now if I ever marry again, I may opt for some role reversal....
Only if your looking at it from the view point somehow its an advantage to be the "leader"..The leader has the responsiblilty to give up(sacrifice) their own desires for the sake of others...The leader isnt in charge of himself either..He must submit to God...If he is truly loving his wife as Christ loves the church..There is no threat in his leadership..
Love
Dallas
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
Well, no. Over the years we have proved that women have a brain. Even moreso developed than a man's. So they are more than capable to be spiritually in control of themselves.
Charity
Let's go racing boys !
Have you got the ok from God on that statement?
I thought we were considered the weaker sex? :faint:
doppelganger
Through the Looking Glass
Not in terms of genetic propensity for health and longevity. Your pair of XXs trumps.Have you got the ok from God on that statement?
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
I am a HinduHave you got the ok from God on that statement?
We do not need any words from God on anything It is mostly primitive thinkers who realistically believe you are a weaker sex, a lot of women are physically weaker then men just because it is the way their bodies are, but not mentally, but that depends on person to person.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
But I dont think him being the head means she has no brain..
Him being the head means he should LOVE and care for his wife(including her brain) as if she were his very own body..
Love
Dallas
Him being the head means he should LOVE and care for his wife(including her brain) as if she were his very own body..
Love
Dallas