The Never Ending Poem

[oldbadger]

But wait! What of Wirey? A pie cannot kill yer!
He was dazed, he awoke, this can't get sillier,

 

[oldbadger]

Now Wirey's our champion, not that bit of skirt,
He never done her no harm just had a wee flirt,

 

[oldbadger]

He put on his panties, his wig and his bra,
and set off..... Oh No! His secret's out the jar!

 

[oldbadger]

Well, anyway, he travelled through snow drifts, and ice flows,
climbed mountains, swam rivers, hardships only he knows....

 

[oldbadger]

Until he found that wicked maiden, the pie chucking thief,
In a hut with her lover. Wirey poised to dish out some grief.

 

[BSM1]

Wirey's revolver barked again and again
Six shots rang out (seven and half Canadian).

 

[Brickjectivity]

his eyes they shone like diamonds
his gun was too big for his hand
with his hair flung over his shoulder
he trudged up the hudson bay sand

 

[Revoltingest]

He finally arrived at their fortress of pulchritude.
Confronting the lovers, he exhorted, "I'll punch ya, dude!"
Instead of a donnybrook, the fellow said "Sweetum,
hey, whaddaya say to our trying a threesome?

 

[oldbadger]

That's the trouble with Wirey, to calm him when he's vexed,
All you have to do is get yer clothes off..... he's oversexed.

 

[oldbadger]

So he threw down his revolver, plunged hand inside his bag,
and pulled out a giant sex toy, he needs 'em big, that f.....ella.

 

[oldbadger]

Oh God, please...No! cried the maiden, That's why I could not stay,
I can cope with an ordinary size of man, but you, no bleedin' way.

 

[Revoltingest]

Her paramour spoke up, & said, "Hold on, sweetie".
"I haven't an issue, with fellows so meatie."

 

[oldbadger]

Shut your mouth your rascal, said Wirey to that man,
I can't handle two at once, but my mate Revolting can.....

 

[oldbadger]

For out the window he had seen that US hero with his big blaster,
And oldbadge from Blighty trudging after, he couldn't go no faster.

 

[oldbadger]

Freeze you lot, Revolting cried, or I will shoot you in the head!
We can't have guns, old badge said, so I will kick you all instead!

 

[oldbadger]

There was a silence, all was still, then said Revolting 'Have you any plonk?'
'Why yes', said the suitor, 'in the corner'. Bugger that, said oldbadge, 'I want a b....ath.

 

[oldbadger]

Well, they trusted the maid, left her love behind in that cold shed,
and set off for home, 'Now you all come to my place' Wirey said.
'Wot?' cried Revolting and oldbadge, 'We don't want to freeze!'
Don't ask us to trudge to crappy cold Canuckistan, please!'.

 

[Brickjectivity]

but wirey gave them plane tickets and promised that there would be food
so lured by various circuses they went somewhere that no one should!

 

[BSM1]

So they came from the mountains, the island, the plains
They came by aircraft, by boats, by trains
They walked, they drove, one even came by horse
"Why," they were asked and the answer was always the same,
"To see Wirey, of course."

But Wirey was reclusive, reticent, shy
"Begone." he would shout from his darkened house
"Or I'll spit poutine in yer eye."

 

[Quagmire]

'Twas a poem for the forums,
And all through the thread,
Each poster just posted what popped in their head,