punkdbass
I will be what I will be
Maybe you can help me. Though I am not sure it comes from logic, but I am having trouble believing in a personal God.
Like, I was talking to an orthodox friend about God. And how in the Tanakh God is revealed. He seems very apart of the world. He gives great signs of wonder. He sends prophets to help. Iv been thinking of how he lead Am Israel from Egypt with great streangth. He consumes Eliyahu's sacrifice in front of the false prophets. And yet now, at times he seems to be a bit silent.
I mean, he seems to answer prayers at times o. Even though they may not be exactly kosher. But still I feel a bit critical. Especially when reading the scripture. Is it possible they exagerated? Or did he leave us in the toy aisle by accident, and like lost children we have to wonder, lookingfor him in this giant store called life?
I think I can definitely help you!! for the longest time I struggled with the idea of a personal God, in fact I didn't believe in a personal God. It wasn't until recently that I've really strengthened my faith and have started embracing the idea of a personal God existing.
First of all, I would say read this post by Levite, which talks about how there can be a personal God with all the suffering and evil in the world, and then I would also recommend reading his posts in this thread as well -- for they both helped me a lot with the idea of a personal God.
As for the reading of scripture.. perhaps the following will help: I do not view the Bible as the 100% literal word of God, rather I think the Bible is more so the result of man's search for God than God's search for man. I think a lot of truth, and even divine will can be found within the Bible(as I will later explain how), but ultimately it was written by men, and thus contains the flaws of man. It is the foundation of Jewish Law, which is an extremely holy endeavor, regardless if you believe God is personal or if the Torah has divine origin or not.
Okay so here is the crucial advice that I want to give you. My main reason for believing in a personal God, or any sort of God at all, comes from the collective experiences of the Jewish people. The Torah, and any other sacred piece of Jewish literature, are basically the accounts of collective experiences that the entire Jewish people shared. A huge hobby of mine is reading and studying Torah and other Jewish books. Every single sentence in these books is tied to the experiences of an entire people. I think there is so much power in this, and that a lot of truth can be found within it as well. Israel is such a unique and powerful thing. Even when I struggled with the idea of a personal God(and I still do), I always told myself that I have faith in Israel - and that truth can be found within Israel's collective experiences. And I really do, I have very strong faith in Israel.
So anyways, for the past several thousand years, Israel has always thought of God as a conscious, personal being, and all of their experiences reflect that.. so if you study the Jewish people, and if their collective experiences interest you as much as they do for me, then I think you have a lot of reason to believe in a personal God.
Okay, but the purpose of my thread is that one must jump in and experience God for himself rather then rely on reason/logic for the pillars of his faith. The above point I gave, is more so a mixture of experience/reason, so I would like to add one more crucial piece of advice. I think one of the main purposes of religion is to help mediate God's presence. For the past several thousand years, the Jewish people have used the observance of mitzvot as the main method for mediating God's presence(which interesting enough is a communal thing). So my advice for you, which is similar to the advice Levite gave to me(he sent me a very good sermon he gave, if you want me to send it to you I can) is to jump in and start observing mitzvot. This is going to take quite some time.. but study Jewish Law/Torah and start observing as many mitzvot as possible. And then evaluate your experiences, and determine if something real and higher can be found within them.
So here's a quick summary of my advice for you:
1. You don't(and shouldnt IMO) believe that the Torah is the 100% literal word of God in order to believe in a personal God.
2. Have faith in Israel, and that truth can be found within its collective experiences.. afterall, every piece of sacred Jewish Literature is based upon the collective experiences of our people as a whole. There is a lot of power in this.
3. Jump in and start observing mitzvot. Evaluate your experiences with the mitzvot, and try to determine the nature of God's presence that is being mediated, or if you think anything is being mediated at all. Try to determine if something personal and conscious lies within these experiences.
4. And if after doing all of this you still can't find yourself believing in a personal God, but rather believe in an impersonal force that unites all things and is the power of salvation of mankind(as I once did) -- then you can at least think of God as being personal in the sense that he uniquely calls each and every one of us to a higher, more elevated state of living. (I figured this out from a matisyahu song lol) But definitely never give up with step's 2 and 3, for even if you don't believe in a personal God, observing Jewish Law is an extremely holy and meaningful endeavor.
I realize this is a lot of stuff, but this is what helped me.. best of luck Oh and one last point! If you believe in a first cause, or that God is the Creator, then I think you have to believe in a conscious, personal God.. simply because it would take consciousness to create everything that exists today.. wouldnt you agree? But don't let this be the foundation of your faith in a personal God(As some thiests do), simply because the moment someone convinces you the universe doesnt need a first cause, your faith will become pretty weak.
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