How I came to feel this way, I can't tell, I can just tell you that I have learned that forgiveness on my part works far, far better for me than any punishment meeted out by men or gods.
In fact, I was a very badly battered child, nearly killed twice by my stepfather before I was 7, and then lived the rest of my childhood in the Children's Aid, too messed up by then ever to be adopted, or even fostered for any length of time. I know people who went through much, much less than that, and yet have needed years of "therapy" to deal with their trauma. I learned that maybe the people who hurt me were possibly victims, in one way or another, themselves. And I have completely forgiven. I do not carry that weight with me, and it has left me mentally healthy and at peace with myself and the world. If I could rain down punishment on that stepfather, I would not do it. I have no need, nor even desire, to do it.
If I have not convinced you, well, that's okay, because neither have you convinced me. As I said, we must agree to disagree.