Thinking About Others and Your Actions

[Debater Slayer]

If you wanted to take some action having to do with your own affairs or life and believed it would help you but refrained from it or delayed it primarily because of considerations about other people, would you think that was a good reason for putting off or abandoning the action or not?

In other words, do you believe thinking about others' concerns is good grounds for determining action concerning oneself or not? Why or why not?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I don't know. But sometimes people may make an excuse why you shouldn't do the action, when the real reason is that they are against it and don't want to face their personal biases about the subject. In which case, delaying then doing it later, often doesn't satisfy the other person in the long run, either.

 

[VoidCat]

That depends entirely on one's morals and why they've made said choice and the situation. Most of the time i put myself first above anyone else. I may consider other people and their problems I may not depends on their concerns. But most the time i make a choice it's one that lines up with my morals and what I feel is the best choice to make.

 

[Nakosis]

If you wanted to take some action having to do with your own affairs or life and believed it would help you but refrained from it or delayed it primarily because of considerations about other people, would you think that was a good reason for putting off or abandoning the action or not?

In other words, do you believe thinking about others' concerns is good grounds for determining action concerning oneself or not? Why or why not?

Depends on who it is.
For family or a really close friend, sure.

Otherwise I don't see it as my job to look out for the world at large.

 

[Koldo]

If you wanted to take some action having to do with your own affairs or life and believed it would help you but refrained from it or delayed it primarily because of considerations about other people, would you think that was a good reason for putting off or abandoning the action or not?

In other words, do you believe thinking about others' concerns is good grounds for determining action concerning oneself or not? Why or why not?

I think it depends. This is really complicated and ought to be addressed on a case by case basis.

Am I refraining from doing what I want to appease someone else's bigotry? Or maybe I am doing it to return a favor? Or maybe it would be irresponsible or uncaring of me to do it? So many variables...

 

[VoidCat]

I think it depends. This is really complicated and ought to be addressed on a case by case basis.

Am I refraining from doing what I want to appease someone else's bigotry? Or maybe I am doing it to return a favor? Or maybe it would be irresponsible or uncaring of me to do it? So many variables...

I agree with you.
It is complicated and that's why i answered the way i did cuz I've been in situations where a choice has to be made and others tell me what I ought to do. For instance I've had folk in my family hate on me cuz of my religious beliefs. I will not stop following the gods cuz of them. I've also got accomadations regarding my disabilities despite folk not wanting me to have them or any help or acknowledgement regarding my disabilities at all cuz "I'm not that disabled." yet these some of these same people have said I'm too disabled to function independently and won't ever live on my own. Im not going to make choices to not do something based on those attitudes. But I will think and might stop from taking that action if I think a concern is legit. Like if folk say I shouldn't go to this therapist not because I don't need therapy but because that particular therapist is a bigot and hates trans people then I'll take that advice and go see a different one.

Regardless whatever choice I make on anything imma try to make sure it lines up with my logic and morals

 

[sun rise]

do you believe thinking about others' concerns is good grounds for determining action concerning oneself or not? Why or why not?

One big reason I've been married for over 50 years is that we take the other persons concerns into account. This does not of course mean we always act as the other would like but we consider their concerns. So yes to "think about" but "no" to always act according to the other's concerns.

 

[ChristineM]

If you wanted to take some action having to do with your own affairs or life and believed it would help you but refrained from it or delayed it primarily because of considerations about other people, would you think that was a good reason for putting off or abandoning the action or not?

In other words, do you believe thinking about others' concerns is good grounds for determining action concerning oneself or not? Why or why not?

Anyone who has children will know it happens all the time.

 

[VoidCat]

Anyone who has children will know it happens all the time.

Well. I don't have kids but I believe that depends on the parents and if they actually care about their kid. But yeah thats how it should be.

 

[viole]

If you wanted to take some action having to do with your own affairs or life and believed it would help you but refrained from it or delayed it primarily because of considerations about other people, would you think that was a good reason for putting off or abandoning the action or not?

In other words, do you believe thinking about others' concerns is good grounds for determining action concerning oneself or not? Why or why not?

It depends. If, for instance, the others believe it is good to kill Ukrainians, then I could not care less if they die, together with their children and family.

Ciao

- viole

 

[Debater Slayer]

It depends. If, for instance, the others believe it is good to kill Ukrainians, then I could not care less if they die, together with their children and family.

Ciao

- viole

You don't care if children die because of their parents' beliefs? That doesn't sound much different from being indifferent to the killing of Ukrainians.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Anyone who has children will know it happens all the time.

What about the other way around: when the children take their parents' concerns or feelings into consideration? Would you say it's more or less common than the reverse?

 

[viole]

You don't care if children die because of their parents' beliefs? That doesn't sound much different from being indifferent to the killing of Ukrainians.

I know. But the symmetry does not hold, since it is one of the parties who started that. So, the one starting it should accept the righteous pain. And if they complain, they should have not put their children in that position. After all, the Russians totally support their government policy. Selber Schuld, as they say here.

Ciao

- viole

 

[Debater Slayer]

I know. But the symmetry does not hold, since it is one of the parties who started that. So, the one starting it should accept righteous pain.

Ciao

- viole

Children didn't start anything. How long did you think of that comment before posting it?

 

[VoidCat]

What about the other way around: when the children take their parents' concerns or feelings into consideration? Would you say it's more or less common than the reverse?

I know this was directed at Christine but I would think since most kids' desire to please their parents and gain their approval then they'd always tend to take their parents considerations into account as children at least. Maybe not so common in adulthood. But definitely in childhood. This can lead to problems tho when a young kid has a parent who will never accept anything the child does as good and always criticizes the kid for everything.

 

[viole]

Children didn't start anything. How long did you think of that comment before posting it?

So, do you suggest we should accept anything a despot commands, because we are shy in killing children, why he is not?

Really?

I am sure Putin likes you.

Ciao

- viole

 

[Debater Slayer]

So, do you suggest we should accept anything a despot commands, because we are shy in killing children, why he is not?

You got all of that from "children don't start anything"?

Really? I am sure Putin likes you.

Ciao

- viole

Putin doesn't care about children's lives--the same sentiment you expressed just because of their parents' views.

 

[Augustus]

If you wanted to take some action having to do with your own affairs or life and believed it would help you but refrained from it or delayed it primarily because of considerations about other people, would you think that was a good reason for putting off or abandoning the action or not?

In other words, do you believe thinking about others' concerns is good grounds for determining action concerning oneself or not? Why or why not?

In theory, there are many legitimate reasons why it could be considered a good thing. There are also reasons it could be the wrong thing.

It depends on too many variables to generalise.

Who is it for? How much do you 'owe' them?
What is the reason you need concern for them? Genuine need or to pander to their wants?
Are you putting something on hold, or are you giving up the chance for good?
What will it cost you? Will you end up regretting it or even becoming resentful?
Is it all or nothing or is there a middle ground?

What about the other way around: when the children take their parents' concerns or feelings into consideration?

My dad has dementia and I have spent 4 years helping to look after him (which is quite awkward as I nominally live around 12,000km away). This cost me a lot of time, money and opportunity and I could have just left it to my mum. She even told me not to waste so much of my time looking after them, but she didn't deserve to be left on her own to deal with it. They always tried to help me, so it was my responsibility to do my best to help them in return.

Nothing I gave up was life changing though. If it had been, they wouldn't have accepted my help.

 

[pearl]

In other words, do you believe thinking about others' concerns is good grounds for determining action concerning oneself or not? Why or why not?

Another way of framing the question is do we consider the consequences, both immediate and far reaching, of our choices before choosing a course of action? I think if we tried that approach what seemed like a good idea at the time is less likely to have adverse consequences for another.

 

[Debater Slayer]

My dad has dementia and I have spent 4 years helping to look after him (which is quite awkward as I nominally live around 12,000km away).

Best wishes to both of you. I'm glad he has a caring wife and child to look after him, too.