I'm still wrestling with a lot of these issues. The human mind has a difficult time grasping the concepts of free will and the sovereignty of God.
An element no one has mentioned yet is the absolute holiness and purity of God. People keep saying, why does mere unbelief in God qualify me for hell? It seems unfair, and I agree, to an extent. But to talk only about unbelief is just skimming the surface. What truly qualifies us for hell is our sin and filth. Even Satan believes in God, but he sure ain't going to heaven.
God wants, more than anything, intimacy with us. That's a pretty staggering thought, at least to me. But because He is so righteous and pure and holy, the intimacy He desires can only be fulfilled with those whose righteousness, purity, and holiness is like His own. He loves everyone, deeply and unconditionally, but ultimately He can't allow anyone into an intimate relationship with Him unless they are holy and pure too---no matter how much He loves them.
Suppose a well-groomed gentleman meets a young beggar woman. He can easily see she is beautiful, but she is also filthy, smelly, and has atrocious manners and vices. He is a compassionate, kind man, so he tries to help her, and as he does so, learns to care for her deeply, even love her. But unless she begins to bathe regularly, wear clean clothes, and mend her vices, the probability of the young gentleman wanting to pursue an intimate relationship with her is very, very slim. He can love her...certainly; have compassion on her...certainly; but be intimate with her? Who among us can say we would enjoy kissing or cuddling with someone whose very smell makes us nauseous? Whose behavior is crass and vile?
This the closest analogy I can think of in reference to how God sees us. The problem is we have no comprehension of how gross our sin is in comparison to God's holiness and purity. "Being good," by human standards, just doesn't cut it in God's eyes.
God's righteousness and holiness demand justice; and His love doesn't want to "settle" for anything less than intimacy.