This is shameful for all of us

[sayak83]

A Muslim husband wants to perform a ritual for his dead Hindu wife and a temple society in a New Delhi Bengali-dominated neighbourhood has not allowed because they believe the woman was no longer a Hindu after her marriage even as she hadn't given up her faith.
"She Wasn't Hindu After Marrying Muslim": Delhi Temple Denies Last Rites

I hope more enlightened Hindu societies come forward so that the last rites can be performed in accordance to the deceased lady's wishes.

 

[Aupmanyav]

Inter-religious marriages lead to all sorts of problems and should be avoided. I am an orthodox person.

 

[SomeRandom]

Disgraceful!

 

[Terese]

That's terribly unfortunate.

 

[stvdv]

A Muslim husband wants to perform a ritual for his dead Hindu wife and a temple society in a New Delhi Bengali-dominated neighbourhood has not allowed because they believe the woman was no longer a Hindu after her marriage even as she hadn't given up her faith.
"She Wasn't Hindu After Marrying Muslim": Delhi Temple Denies Last Rites

I hope more enlightened Hindu societies come forward so that the last rites can be performed in accordance to the deceased lady's wishes.

1) This is an opportunity God grants the Hindus that they can/should act better than this.
2) And it shows that this Muslim man is better than those Hindus in tolerance towards other religions.

 

[Vinayaka]

I'm guessing there is more to this story than we see. Certainly he could have easily done the rituals at home, and likely there is a history here being concealed. Sadly, 'those darn intolerant Hindus' types of stories sell.

 

[sayak83]

I'm guessing there is more to this story than we see. Certainly he could have easily done the rituals at home, and likely there is a history here being concealed. Sadly, 'those darn intolerant Hindus' types of stories sell.

As a Muslim, he is very unlikely to know any of the rituals, making it difficult for his and his relatives to conduct something like this at home. It entirely plausible that the story is precisely what it is and no more.

 

[Vinayaka]

As a Muslim, he is very unlikely to know any of the rituals, making it difficult for his and his relatives to conduct something like this at home. It entirely plausible that the story is precisely what it is and no more.

He can hire a priest, or get one of her relatives to assist. Yes, it's plausible. I have a habit of reading deeper for all news stories, never taking anything 'as is'. It's also plausible that this temple has had a history of 'trouble with Muslims'. So who knows, really? I'm not one to jump on bandwagons without all the information, most especially from the other side of the planet.

She was cremated, which is the most important part, after all.

 

[sayak83]

He can hire a priest, or get one of her relatives to assist. Yes, it's plausible. I have a habit of reading deeper for all news stories, never taking anything 'as is'. It's also plausible that this temple has had a history of 'trouble with Muslims'. So who knows, really? I'm not one to jump on bandwagons without all the information, most especially from the other side of the planet.

She was cremated, which is the most important part, after all.

Which does show sincerity on the husband's part, does it not, that she was cremated?
If I get further news, I will certainly share.

 

[SomeRandom]

He can hire a priest, or get one of her relatives to assist. Yes, it's plausible. I have a habit of reading deeper for all news stories, never taking anything 'as is'. It's also plausible that this temple has had a history of 'trouble with Muslims'. So who knows, really? I'm not one to jump on bandwagons without all the information, most especially from the other side of the planet.

She was cremated, which is the most important part, after all.

What if the lady in question specifically told her husband that she wanted it performed at a Temple though? I know quite a few aunties who refuse to have their last rites anywhere but at a Temple. Not entirely sure why, but whatever.
Although I understand the suspicion on the part of the Priest, I don't know how I feel about a Synagogue/Temple/Church/Mosque etc actively refusing to perform last rites on a person. Or indeed a Hindu actually declaring another person is not a Hindu anymore. That's just.........un-Hindu.

 

[Aupmanyav]

In India, there are demographic problems. What is the name and religion of their children? Have they been fair to both religions? Just allowing her to be cremated is not enough. Let us be practical. Why should we encourage inter-religious marriages? You are ignoring 'Vyavaharika', but that too is a truth.

 

[Vinayaka]

What if the lady in question specifically told her husband that she wanted it performed at a Temple though? I know quite a few aunties who refuse to have their last rites anywhere but at a Temple. Not entirely sure why, but whatever.
Although I understand the suspicion on the part of the Priest, I don't know how I feel about a Synagogue/Temple/Church/Mosque etc actively refusing to perform last rites on a person. Or indeed a Hindu actually declaring another person is not a Hindu anymore. That's just.........un-Hindu.

Maybe. Maybe not. The church where I grew up refuses burial to other Christians, despite many requests. I suppose someone could write a headline about that, and make that church sound bad, super intolerant.

But you see, I know the real reason. The church directors at one time set a policy that burial plots would be $2, a very nominal expense. The local people bought the plots. Heck, even today, if I de-converted, I could buy a plot there. I've been offered one. The reason they don't allow others is cost. Some people in the 'big city' who have to pay $3000 or more got wind of the price, and tried to be buried there. The directors changed the rules to vaguely say 'proof of a connection to the community'. That's why I could buy a plot.

Like I said before, I doubt if the whole story has come out. In a way the temple/mandir is being really tolerant to the Muslim husband, as he could be in deep trouble with some of his Muslim brothers if word gets around that he married a Hindu without converting her first. In some circles that would be considered an absolute necessity, hence he committed a grave sin. Maybe the priest is protecting him from retribution, or maybe the priest got a threatening phone call fom the guy's brother. Who knows?

 

[Jainarayan]

The church where I grew up refuses burial to other Christians, despite many requests.

Not unusual at all, at least between the Catholic and Orthodox Churches especially. They won't perform a funeral for someone not of the church, they won't perform joint marriages. One or the other party has to convert if they want a church wedding. I saw part of a "mixed" wedding at temple one day. She was American-born, he was Indian. Of course, she may very well have converted to Hinduism, or maybe not, and it was a non-issue between the couple. So many variables.

 

[Vinayaka]

I saw part of a "mixed" wedding at temple one day. She was American-born, he was Indian. Of course, she may very well have converted to Hinduism, or maybe not, and it was a non-issue between the couple. So many variables.

Not an issue generally for agnostics. Very often there are two weddings. Maye the next day was a Christian wedding.

 

[Jainarayan]

Not an issue generally for agnostics. Very often there are two weddings. Maye the next day was a Christian wedding.

Yes, possibly. A couple I knew from the Orthodox Church did that . He was Russian Orthodox, she was Methodist. They had the Methodist wedding, then when she became Orthodox they had the Orthodox wedding.

 

[Aupmanyav]

.. he married a Hindu without converting her first. In some circles that would be considered an absolute necessity, hence he committed a grave sin. Maybe the priest is protecting him from retribution, or maybe the priest got a threatening phone call fom the guy's brother. Who knows?

Yes, that is an abomination in Islam, associating oneself with a polytheist woman. If he was in an Islamic country, it would have merited a severe punishment. It surely merits Allah's fire.

"However, the Quran (2:221) also states, "And do not marry Polytheist women until they believe, And a believing slave woman is better than a Polytheist women, even though she might please you. And do not marry Polytheist men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a Polytheist men, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember". From this verse, it can be understood that Muslim men are not allowed to marry women who associate or similarise Allah with anything."
Interfaith marriage in Islam - Wikipedia

 

[SomeRandom]

Maybe. Maybe not. The church where I grew up refuses burial to other Christians, despite many requests. I suppose someone could write a headline about that, and make that church sound bad, super intolerant.

But you see, I know the real reason. The church directors at one time set a policy that burial plots would be $2, a very nominal expense. The local people bought the plots. Heck, even today, if I de-converted, I could buy a plot there. I've been offered one. The reason they don't allow others is cost. Some people in the 'big city' who have to pay $3000 or more got wind of the price, and tried to be buried there. The directors changed the rules to vaguely say 'proof of a connection to the community'. That's why I could buy a plot.

Like I said before, I doubt if the whole story has come out. In a way the temple/mandir is being really tolerant to the Muslim husband, as he could be in deep trouble with some of his Muslim brothers if word gets around that he married a Hindu without converting her first. In some circles that would be considered an absolute necessity, hence he committed a grave sin. Maybe the priest is protecting him from retribution, or maybe the priest got a threatening phone call fom the guy's brother. Who knows?

It still doesn't sit right to me. I don't even believe in last rites personally. Mostly because I'm too far removed to understand them. But the mere thought of say not doing so for my mother if she were to pass on horrifies me.
As usual religion and politics has seemingly created all sorts of complications and issues for both parties involved. Humans. Pfft.

 

[Aupmanyav]

I would not want any death rites for myself at all. I only want continuity. Cremate me at the place where I cremated my father and immerse what remains in River Ganges in Haridwar. Destroy all photographs in which I may be appearing. Just forget me and move on.

 

[ajay0]

This is an issue in the zoroastrian religion as well.

Where we belong: The fight of Parsi women in interfaith marriages

Problem is the male dominated nature of Hinduism and religion in general.

How come there are no female Popes, Shankaracharyas and Ayatollahs till now, inspite of the fact that the females form half of humanity !

Similarly there are no female Jewish Rabbis or Hindu female temple priests while there are female priests in the Arya Samaj and Prajapita Brahmakumaris.

I would say that the corporate and political world is more adherent to sattvic values in this regard as we have seen many female CEO's like Indra Nooyi, Marissa Mayer and female prime ministers like Margaret Thatcher , Indira Gandhi, Benazir Bhutto and this is something the religious world would do well to emulate if they wish to give off an image of being progressive.

 

[sayak83]

In India, there are demographic problems. What is the name and religion of their children? Have they been fair to both religions? Just allowing her to be cremated is not enough. Let us be practical. Why should we encourage inter-religious marriages? You are ignoring 'Vyavaharika', but that too is a truth.

Why not? Its down to individual choice. Freedom to love and marry whomever one pleases?
The children can choose their own religion when they are adults.