However you want to paint it. Regardless of what you say I'm doing, you're the only one who seems to have a problem with it. I suggest you get over it and move on.
-
Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:- Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
- Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
- Access to private conversations with other members.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!
Three year olds with attitudes
- Thread starter Jessica Magan
- Start date
I'm not sure why you would disrespect somebody if you don't disrespect them.Aqualung said:
Showing respect for someone you don't respect is hypocritical in a sense, but doing so makes you the better person.
If you're follower of the golden rule, then this would definitley be something you would strive to practice: Treat others how you want to be treated. This is what being coutous and showing respect for someone boils down to.
Aqualung
Tasty
I don't know. Why would you respect somebody you don't respect?
Lying and acting against what you know is true makes you a better person? I disagree. Acting in conjuction with what you know is reality makes you better, even if society says that it's better to lie.
Well, then, we can stop right there, because I think the golden rule is one of the worst rules to have infiltrated our society.
Read my previous post.Aqualung said:
If we all acted on our true feelings about people, the world would be an even worse place than it is. I think you're confusing pretending you like a person and respecting a person.Aqualung said:
But we are talking about children and disciplining them. My stance is that children today need more discipilne.
I thought all Christians were followers of the golden rule? Guess I was wrong. We will have to respectfully disagree.Aqualung said:
Aqualung
Tasty
Only if (a) you are a naturally hateful person and/or (b) you always operate on one of two extremes. Most of the people I meet I have no feelings for one way or the other. The majority of the rest I like. The minority I don't like. That's very few people. I also find it easier to just ignore them rather than actively make them feel bad. I'm not showing disrespect, but I'm certainly not showing respect.
Well, then, why have we gotten this far off track? Obviously, we need to lay some groundwork before we can continue. We cannot discuss the issue of children needing more discipline until we can decide why children need more discipline and if this outcome is desirable.
Sure I suppose if that's the way you want it, I will nicely disagree (but not respectfully; see what I did there? I illustrated the difference between respect and just being reasonable).
Hope
Princesinha
Most people are "old" to a child.
It's the perfectly sensible place to start in teaching a child to respect others.I stand by what I said. It seems apparent you don't understand my point at all.
Hope
Princesinha
Then it's no wonder you don't understand where I and others are coming from.
I would argue that as acting in a respectful manner due to the fact you don't wish to make a person feel bad.Aqualung said:
Good question.Aqualung said:
My groundwork is that children are increasingly rude and act in a disrespectful manner towards their parents. Which I feel will have an impact on how they treat other people in general.Aqualung said:
Well you can call a cherry pie an apple pie, but it still makes it a cherry pie.Aqualung said:
You are still in a sense being respectful.
I'm with daddyholland. We're talking about three-year-olds, who are going through enormous changes in their physiology, their steps toward autonomy, their perspectives on relationships, and language development. I just shake my head and chuckle a tad bit with the whole "my-parents-would-have-whacked-me-on-the-behind-if-I-acted-that-way" mindless diatribe. :areyoucra
The way children act is the way children have acted throughout time. I've heard things my grandmother and her siblings did when they had the opportunity, and it's amazing they weren't dead by the time they were 16! The only differences we notice from "back then" to "now" are a few things:
1) Children do not have the freedoms now than they did in years past. 20-30 years ago, I could take my bike out all day and not return until dinnertime. My mother talks of the same freedom. My grandmother.......same story. Nowadays, children are monitored by the minute. Do they ever have any breathing room for their own frustrations? My husband and I take this into account, and I wish others would, too. Ever since the whole phenomena of child-abduction stories beginning with Adam Walsh, children have not been able to take a bike ride to get their high-strung energies out of 'em. They are confined to a small playground with a group of parents staring at the whole lot.
2) We have moved into a more individualistic society........and this doesn't necessarily mean, "ME FIRST", since rampant egoism has existed way before this generation. We're simply evolving as a culture away from the nuclear family, the definition of marriage is not so narrow anymore, and kids are also seeing their parents become more involved with careers, hobbies, and their OWN dreams. Kids do not see their parents staying with each other simply for the kids' sake, but watch as their parents seek active and loving relationships either with each other through counseling, or with someone new.
3) Children understand (and we should, too) that physical punishment isn't necessary to keep a child's respect. Spanking, I don't think, should be demonized.......but parents that don't spank shouldn't be labeled as "overly permissive." When parents point fingers at each other, the only thing that comes out of it is a bunch of noise that children hear, too, and they don't care much for that, either.
CHILDREN ACT UP!! I did it. You did it. Everyone did it. Whether our parents gave us a look, a smack, or a hug shouldn't sway this discussion. Kids are kids, and they always will be. They need lots of discipline - which for me translates into guidance and not punishment - and lots of love and compassion. Grandstanding about this so-called "lack of discipline" doesn't make anyone look better, nor does bragging about how you were raised. Every child is different, just like every couple, and every family as a whole. What works in one household and with one child will not always work for another.........even after time has passed since that very child has changed, too.
Meh - what do I know, anyway? I guess my hubbie and I will find out just how much we've screwed our kids up in 10 years or so if they're in prison or sobbing on a therapists couch.
Give parents a break. I've not heard of one set of parents who were perfect, so stop expecting us to be.
Peace,
Mystic
The way children act is the way children have acted throughout time. I've heard things my grandmother and her siblings did when they had the opportunity, and it's amazing they weren't dead by the time they were 16! The only differences we notice from "back then" to "now" are a few things:
1) Children do not have the freedoms now than they did in years past. 20-30 years ago, I could take my bike out all day and not return until dinnertime. My mother talks of the same freedom. My grandmother.......same story. Nowadays, children are monitored by the minute. Do they ever have any breathing room for their own frustrations? My husband and I take this into account, and I wish others would, too. Ever since the whole phenomena of child-abduction stories beginning with Adam Walsh, children have not been able to take a bike ride to get their high-strung energies out of 'em. They are confined to a small playground with a group of parents staring at the whole lot.
2) We have moved into a more individualistic society........and this doesn't necessarily mean, "ME FIRST", since rampant egoism has existed way before this generation. We're simply evolving as a culture away from the nuclear family, the definition of marriage is not so narrow anymore, and kids are also seeing their parents become more involved with careers, hobbies, and their OWN dreams. Kids do not see their parents staying with each other simply for the kids' sake, but watch as their parents seek active and loving relationships either with each other through counseling, or with someone new.
3) Children understand (and we should, too) that physical punishment isn't necessary to keep a child's respect. Spanking, I don't think, should be demonized.......but parents that don't spank shouldn't be labeled as "overly permissive." When parents point fingers at each other, the only thing that comes out of it is a bunch of noise that children hear, too, and they don't care much for that, either.
CHILDREN ACT UP!! I did it. You did it. Everyone did it. Whether our parents gave us a look, a smack, or a hug shouldn't sway this discussion. Kids are kids, and they always will be. They need lots of discipline - which for me translates into guidance and not punishment - and lots of love and compassion. Grandstanding about this so-called "lack of discipline" doesn't make anyone look better, nor does bragging about how you were raised. Every child is different, just like every couple, and every family as a whole. What works in one household and with one child will not always work for another.........even after time has passed since that very child has changed, too.
Meh - what do I know, anyway? I guess my hubbie and I will find out just how much we've screwed our kids up in 10 years or so if they're in prison or sobbing on a therapists couch.
Give parents a break. I've not heard of one set of parents who were perfect, so stop expecting us to be.
Peace,
Mystic
nutshell
Well-Known Member
Is anyone else out there completely fed up with the attitude problems even the smallest children have today. I don't understand when or how it happened, but at some point good manners disappeared. Everyday I here some kid in a store speaking to their parents in ways I never would have dreamed of addressing mine. It does,not stop there either they are rude to complete strangers sometimes even the elderly. Sometimes I just want to walk up myself and put these children in line. However that would not be politically correct I suppose. I'm just wondering how many of you share my frustration?
I can't say this strongly enough:
YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG!!!
If you see kids acting out like this you need to put the PARENTS in line - NOT the children.
Do you really think a 3-yr old is consciously aware of making good decisions? They will act as they've been conditioned to act - conditioned by their parents.
That said, there will be times when being a 3 year old means throwing a temper tantrum - even when the parents and the kid are the best.
porkchop
I'm Heffer!!!
Is anyone else out there completely fed up with the attitude problems even the smallest children have today. I don't understand when or how it happened, but at some point good manners disappeared. Everyday I here some kid in a store speaking to their parents in ways I never would have dreamed of addressing mine. It does,not stop there either they are rude to complete strangers sometimes even the elderly. Sometimes I just want to walk up myself and put these children in line. However that would not be politically correct I suppose. I'm just wondering how many of you share my frustration?
I totally get where your'e coming from,JM and i hate the way kids from the age of three upwards talk to there parents, but worse, is that the parents take it, or encourage it by talking the same way back to them. I believe it will get worse, there is no respect for elders or authority anymore and this political correctness malarky is ridiculous, dont get me started, i could rant for days!!!!!!!!!!!!
p.s. Yup, i share your frustration!!
Nutshell is right. Parenting and disciplining children is the parents responsibility, not the child's.
Aqualung
Tasty
No, it's not. I understand your point, but I think it's wrong. Is it so hard to believe that it's possible for somebody to disagree that you automatically assume I'm a retard? What this teaches is blind deference to authority, that actions are better than intentions, that lying is okay, and the ohter things I've mentioned.Most people are "old" to a child.
The golden rule teaches that what I want is more important than what anybody else wants. How I want to be treated is more important than how you want me to treat you. It's the most self-centred theory ever.
Respect is about intent. I'm acting in an avoidant manner because it's better for me that I don't spend all my time arguing with them. It's better for me to surround myself with people who I can look up to.MrT said:
My groundwork is that it's not desirable to teach children blind respect for those around them.
You're the one calling a cherry pie an apple pie. You want respect to be all about actions, but it's about intent, too. Like burglary.
I don't think anyone would disagree with you Heather. The stance I think a lot of people are getting at is that certain people let their kids run them. I've seen this many times and it is usually do to not enough discipline or incorrect use of it. From what I can see, this is a problem that is quite common these days.MysticSang'ha said:
Dr. Nosophoros
Active Member
I didn't dare "act out" in public when I was young because I knew what was waiting for me when we got home, a simple look kept us in line, wild and free one minute then yes maam, no maam, please and thank you, that look from your father can get you in line pretty damn quick and I thank him for that.
Overall I'd say it's a failure of parents, a weakness that has been taught, and the taught (and enforced in some cases) non- assertiveness of strangers, really you shouldn't have to deal with other peoples laziness but that is the society we live in. I personally make no bones whatsoever "correcting" a child while their parents are acting like nothing is going on, if you don't do it who else will? Step up to the plate.
You'll soon see me in the cane tips and eyeglasses section at Walmart...
Overall I'd say it's a failure of parents, a weakness that has been taught, and the taught (and enforced in some cases) non- assertiveness of strangers, really you shouldn't have to deal with other peoples laziness but that is the society we live in. I personally make no bones whatsoever "correcting" a child while their parents are acting like nothing is going on, if you don't do it who else will? Step up to the plate.
You'll soon see me in the cane tips and eyeglasses section at Walmart...
I agree. But I do think we should teach them to have manners when dealing with people, even if we find them unpleasant (which I would classify as respectful behavior). I'd want my children to set an example.Aqualung said:
I'm not saying not to surround yourself with people who who you respect.Aqualung said:
My intent is to set a positive example. You and I have a different idea about what respect is. So I don't think we're going to get anywhere.Aqualung said:
Oh, come on, Nick! We finally disagree on something.......don't back down now!!
LOLI do see the "good ol' days" comments as rather naive, since if any demographic that COULD seriously claim to start a rebellious attitude toward authority in the last 50 years, it's the Baby Boomers (groovy, baby). Any idea of just how often my parents were scolded when they were younger for having no respect for their elders, no respect for authority, yadda yadda yadda? I don't disagree with you that lack of respect is a problem, but to somehow assume that this problem is something new and has only started occurring in the last decade or so isn't very credible.
I still love ya, though.
Peace,
Mystic
RevOxley_501
Well-Known Member
im just gonna show u guys how to fix the problem of bad children:
http://www.darklands.no/belts/2rowcon.jpg
RevOxley_501
Well-Known Member
and i forgot:
Hmm...Being only 25, I really don't know what the good ol' days were like.Oh, come on, Nick! We finally disagree on something.......don't back down now!!
I do see the "good ol' days" comments as rather naive, since if any demographic that COULD seriously claim to start a rebellious attitude toward authority in the last 50 years, it's the Baby Boomers (groovy, baby). Any idea of just how often my parents were scolded when they were younger for having no respect for their elders, no respect for authority, yadda yadda yadda? I don't disagree with you that lack of respect is a problem, but to somehow assume that this problem is something new and has only started occurring in the last decade or so isn't very credible.
I still love ya, though.
Peace,
Mystic
I'm just stating my observaton and what I feel is a solution to the problem at hand.As far as this being something "new in the last decade or so" I don't agree with that. I just feel that in recent times it is more common.
Still luv you too though.