standing_alone said:Friends? No. I can't even make friends.
Man, heteros have it so much easier. At least there are more of them. It's not some kind of homo search and find.
Now Playing: "Trusty Uncle Sunstone Attempts To Advise Standing Alone On Picking Up Girls!" ("Year's Best Comedy" -- NY Times.)
While in college, Standing Alone, your Uncle Sunstone was once voted "Floor Whore" by the 83 folks on his dorm floor in recognition of the fact he picked up more girls than anyone else. Because of this astonishing proof of surpassing expertise in the subject of picking up women, I have decided to divulge all my tried and true secrets to you, my favorite lesbian niece, who shall thus become "The Awesome Living Repository of Uncle Sunstone's Sacred Knowledge", and obligated thereby to pass "The Holy Wisdom of Whoredom" down through the generations. Niffty, huh?
Disclaimer: Some people might find it preposterous that advice which works for a heterosexual male could work for a homosexual female. And quite possibly they would be right. So, you yourself will have to decide how much and what, if any, of this advice is workable for you.
The Holy Wisdom Of Whoredom (Chapter The First)
First, realize that learning how to pick up women is like learning how to play tennis. You cannot adequately learn it from a book or coach alone. You must practice. And most of your real and true insights will come from practice.
Second, be prepared to get a bloody nose from time to time while practicing. You will take hits. Don't give up! But, learn from them! You can learn as much from your negative experiences as you can learn from your positive. What not to do is just as important as what to do.
Third, do not expect, even after years of playing the game, to become become perfect. The very notion that there even is such as thing as perfection is an illusion. Instead of perfection, go for doing your personal best, whatever that might be at the time. Do not fall into the trap of comparing your success or progress to others. That will only make you miserable and, worse, distract you from what you should be working on, which is what you yourself can or can't do to pick up women.
Fourth, begin by assessing your mental and emotional health. If you have been depressed for more than two weeks, for instance, see a psychiatrist. This might sound at first to be advice that has nothing to do with dating, but it is actually intrinsic to it. Just as you cannot expect to do your best at a sport if you are in poor physical health or condition, you cannot expect to do your best at dating if you are in poor mental or emotional health.
Fifth, play the numbers game! When your Uncle Sunstone went to a party back in his college days, he most assuredly did NOT stand back, cast a discerning eye about the room, visually latch onto one or two women who he deemed exceptionally attractive, and then spend the rest of the night trying to figure out how to approach those two worthy women. No! NO! NO! Everybody else did that! But not your Uncle Sunstone, dear Standing Alone. Your Uncle Sunstone, you see, was destined for far, far greater things than pining away party evenings merely in order to have ample material for college ***** sessions the next day in which everyone else would complain about how difficult it was to meet women: Instead, your Uncle Sunstone was destined for that elusive, precious distinction of astonishing excellence: The Floor Whore Award! Consequently, your Uncle Sunstone played the numbers.
Playing the numbers, O Beloved Niece And Incipient Floor Whore, is deceptively simple. The principle is to meet as many women as you can. The principle is to not cease meeting women until there simply are no more women to meet. Deceptively simple.
I have noticed in this thread that many people have given you excellent advice. Advice that thoroughly agrees with everything I myself have learned over the years. May it be useful to you! But no advice on meeting women works until you actually, do, in fact, meet women. And the sad fact is that most people who are looking for love, sex, relationship, or a fun date, utterly fail to meet enough women to make that happen anytime soon. Recall that I began this post by pointing out that practice is key to picking up women. Well, the very first thing you should practice is simply meeting them, O Blessed Repository Of the Sacred Knowledge. Make it not your goal to find love, sex, relationship, or a fun date. Instead, make it your goal to simply meet people.
Everyone I know of well enough to say this of initially finds it difficult and embarrassing to meet strangers. Everyone is at first afraid of rejection, of making a fool of themselves, of any number of worries. And everyone is right. You will indeed be rejected by many, you will sometimes make a fool of yourself, and you will encounter situations and people you wish you had not. Do not let these things deter you! When you encounter rejection from one person, simply go onto the next. When you make a fool of yourself, move on. When you meet someone you don't like, cease to waste their time and yours, and move on again. As you do this, you are practicing. And practicing is what you need to do.
Your Uncle Sunstone would enter a party with the resolve not to leave the party until he had at least said "Hi" to every woman there. He introduced himself to one and all. Sometimes all he could think of was to say "Hi" and move on. Sometimes he even introduced himself to women who had boyfriends with them (in which case, he would politely introduce himself to the boyfriends,too). But he kept to his resolution, for verily did your Uncle Sunstone know, Standing Alone, that the coveted Floor Whore Award would not be won by the meek of breath, nor the weak of body ordure, nor the suave of personal hygiene, but by the guy who met the most women (of course, meek breath, weak body ordure, and suave personal hygiene can only help).
As you've pointed out, Standing Alone, there are many fewer lesbians out there than heterosexuals, and few of the lesbians there are conveniently wear tags announcing what they're looking for. Nevertheless, the same sacred principle of playing the numbers can apply to you too. If the numbers can be interpolated, then on average, you will need to meet about twenty lesbians to meet one that goes further than just a meeting. This can be done!
Please note well: Your resolution to meet everyone does in no way mean that you must accept everyone you meet. How silly! You should have your own standards about who you accept and not alter them. But merely don't have "high standards" about who you meet.
This concludes the First (and possibly last) chapter in The Holy Wisdom Of Whoredom For Standing Alone. May you profit by it, O Beloved Niece! And, if I have misguided you and you don't, then may you never learn of my home address!
-- Your insufferably arrogant Uncle Sunstone
