To all members,, seeking unbiased opinions.

[Nakosis]

Any thoughts, opinions, advice?

So today I was down at my daughters putting up a storm door on her house.(she let the wind catch it and broke the glass out of it) plus putting a new door on her underground storm shelter(it was in need of being replaced).

Anyhow her ex-husband(they divorced last June) has been blowing her phone up within texts and calls, driving by her house(it's off the road with a 1/3 mile drive away and can't be seen from the highway), spying on her, telling her he knows so and so is/was there at her house etc. She is seeing someone right now.


Last month I went down there and put up security cameras and a few times went back at night and have set up in the woods trying to catch him sneaking around without any luck. She has caught him out on the highway by her place a few times and has threatened him with a restraining order

To my point.... When I was there today working, she was mowing and her ex had my grandson(he is two). When her ex brought him back, he just goes right into her house.
I stopped my daughter mowing and said "he just went into your house"
She said I know.
I said hadn't you better go up there.
She said no it's fine. He is with my grandson

I said what the hell do you mean it's fine?... He's been pretty much stalking you to where you have threatened him with a restraining order but you just let him go into your house with no problem? Etc.
She got a little pissy but went to the house.

After he left she came back out and apologized to me for getting pissy.

I said no worries. If he is harassing you like you say, then don't let him just go into your house especially if you aren't in there.


For our conversation, Was I in the wrong??


PS: She won't let me get a hold of him because she said he is your grandsons dad plus I don't want to see you get in trouble because the boys and I need you.

PPS: yes this is the same daughter I posted on about a year ago.(if you remember)

My niece had a problem with her Ex. She set it up that she dropped off and picked up her kids at the police station.
Maybe at least you should advise her to see if she could arrange to pick up and drop off the kids at a neutral place.

Also, your daughter being an adult was invalidated by you telling her what she ought to be doing.
Might be better to rephrase what you tell her as advise instead of scolding her.

 

[Stonetree]

I have no advice to offer but just a few observations that you may already be aware of. The 'ex' went into the house with your grandson because he is looking for clues as to your daughter's current lifestyle (is she seeing someone else). I do support the idea of a restraining order. However if he hasn't threatened your daughter he probably is like most guys and having a great problem with separation. I believe,generally speaking, females adjust faster to separation than males. The time just after separation is difficult for all involved but separations do reach resolution in time. Most males are just little boys and just don't know how to handle rejection especially from someone who formerly was supportive.