Transgender/transsexual?

[Unveiled Artist]

This may be sensitive but I've been thinking about this. My cousin is a female trapped in a male's body. Most of our family respect her as a female, though a lot do not agree with his "supposed" choice to be a female.

When I think of myself, I don't think I have feelings that I am a male in a female's body because I don't know what it is like to feel like a male. Other than biological parts, I don't know what makes a male a male. Sexuality has been stereotyped so much that everything that goes out of the bounds of man and woman is abnormal. Definitions get blurred. People have overlapping feelings. Makes me wonder how we make sense of everything or claim we can.

Other than body parts and personality, what makes a male a male or a female a female to where we can differentiate when a transgender person says he or she is in the wrong body? What personality traits does he or she has that would make that person one gender when they feel they are another?

It can't be "I have an inner feeling that I'm supposed to wear dresses." Straight and non-transexual men wear dresses and they say they are men. It can't be just body parts. If someone is not a male or female how does that person feel the gender he or she is not when it comes to the parts? Does the woman feel they are "missing something"? Does a guy feel like "he has too much parts."? Even so, that doesn't make them (hypothetically speaking) the other gender.

So what does it feel like to be someone of the other gender when biologically (physically) you have all the aspects of your gender male or female? Is it personality? Do males and females have different spirits?

Maybe this would help me understand what my cousin believes.

 

[The Hammer]

This may be sensitive but I've been thinking about this. My cousin is a female trapped in a male's body. Most of our family respect her as a female, though a lot do not agree with his "supposed" choice to be a female.

When I think of myself, I don't think I have feelings that I am a male in a female's body because I don't know what it is like to feel like a male. Other than biological parts, I don't know what makes a male a male. Sexuality has been stereotyped so much that everything that goes out of the bounds of man and woman is abnormal. Definitions get blurred. People have overlapping feelings. Makes me wonder how we make sense of everything or claim we can.

Other than body parts and personality, what makes a male a male or a female a female to where we can differentiate when a transgender person says he or she is in the wrong body? What personality traits does he or she has that would make that person one gender when they feel they are another?

It can't be "I have an inner feeling that I'm supposed to wear dresses." Straight and non-transexual men wear dresses and they say they are men. It can't be just body parts. If someone is not a male or female how does that person feel the gender he or she is not when it comes to the parts? Does the woman feel they are "missing something"? Does a guy feel like "he has too much parts."? Even so, that doesn't make them (hypothetically speaking) the other gender.

So what does it feel like to be someone of the other gender when biologically (physically) you have all the aspects of your gender male or female? Is it personality? Do males and females have different spirits?

Maybe this would help me understand what my cousin believes.

This is big thing to digest and think about and I don't have any 100% for sure answers.

What I do know is that scans of male and female brains, show that there is a different wiring structure (not that the personality is necessarily different), but that the way the brain itself behaves and reacts is different. Those who are trans, essentially have the wiring for one gender, with the body physicality of another. How far one takes that and transitions is up to them.

I can't answer from a trans perspective so I am hoping others here can give you a better explanation then I.

As an aside: To anyone that is trans, if my comments are rude, ill-spoken, out of place, or incorrect, please by all means let me know. I am not familiar with the subject as much as I would like to be, and am willing to do what I can to learn.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Hmm. That's interesting about the wiring. Could female wiring dictate that a male should look like a female? I would think how we see male and female (clothing, hair, etc) has to do with culture rather than being biological. I mean, my cousin's voice is different than many females I meet. Her domineer is different. Yet, she looks beautiful as a female and acts like one too. Even though she had surgery, her organs are still male. So, it has to be beyond the looks and parts. Just asking rhetorical questions. I know you're not an expert.

Would also like some perspectives from individuals who are transsexual or transgender (which ever word is appropriate).

Also, I second the notion:

As an aside: To anyone that is trans, if my comments are rude, ill-spoken, out of place, or incorrect, please by all means let me know. I am not familiar with the subject as much as I would like to be, and am willing to do what I can to learn.

 

[Jumi]

Yes. Some people are born that way and in many cultures it's been known throughout history. Not all of us have the same wiring and some people have the wrong hardware for the wiring. I'm not trans, but I have come to accept that it's as natural as can be.

It must be a cause of great anxiety to feel you have the wrong body and there are many who would cause more distress to them. I think it's good that you are accepting who she is and are willing to find out more about it.

 

[Jumi]

Obviously if you are raised in a society where females act and dress a certain way and you identify with them, you will also want to look like they are.

 

[The Hammer]

Hmm. That's interesting about the wiring. Could female wiring dictate that a male should look like a female? I would think how we see male and female (clothing, hair, etc) has to do with culture rather than being biological. I mean, my cousin's voice is different than many females I meet. Her domineer is different. Yet, she looks beautiful as a female and acts like one too. Even though she had surgery, her organs are still male. So, it has to be beyond the looks and parts. Just asking rhetorical questions. I know you're not an expert.

Would also like some perspectives from individuals who are transsexual or transgender (which ever word is appropriate).

Also, I second the notion:

Try taking a look at this website. It will give you more informed answers then I can: Trans* Awareness Project - Home

 

[Skwim]

Sexuality has been stereotyped so much that everything that goes out of the bounds of man and woman is abnormal.

Well, anything outside of men preferring females and females preferring males is abnormal: not normal---96.2 %* of adults identify as heterosexual. So,I fail to see where stereotyping enters into the issue.
*(Source: Wikipedia)

 

[Shadow Wolf]

What is commonly believed to be the source is that when a fetus is developing, the chromosomes cause the body to develop as one, but the brain is bathed in high amounts of hormones of the other sex, which causes the brain to develop structurally more like that sex.

So what does it feel like to be someone of the other gender when biologically (physically) you have all the aspects of your gender male or female?

It's hard to describe. It's knowing you don't see you when you look in the mirror. It's knowing you have to put on an act just to get through the day. It's knowing you are being excluded from things that you want to do. It's feeling like your life is being dictated to you on a very deep level, and the life that is yours is being denied to you. It's feeling and knowing that you are never acknowledged for how you are, and not even being able to acknowledge yourself trying to keep it hidden.
But to see yourself as you are, to have others acknowledge you as you are, to do the things you want, to live a life in which you can be you, it's like a great darkness and burden is lifted from your life. I don't even know if words can describe the feelings when you can finally smile at what we see looking back in the mirror.

It can't be "I have an inner feeling that I'm supposed to wear dresses." Straight and non-transexual men wear dresses and they say they are men. It can't be just body parts. If someone is not a male or female how does that person feel the gender he or she is not when it comes to the parts? Does the woman feel they are "missing something"? Does a guy feel like "he has too much parts."? Even so, that doesn't make them (hypothetically speaking) the other gender.

You just know. Our identity is internalized, and like everyone else knows they are a man or woman, without even having to think about it, we too know who we are just because we know.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

What is commonly believed to be the source is that when a fetus is developing, the chromosomes cause the body to develop as one, but the brain is bathed in high amounts of hormones of the other sex, which causes the brain to develop structurally more like that sex.

It's hard to describe. It's knowing you don't see you when you look in the mirror. It's knowing you have to put on an act just to get through the day. It's knowing you are being excluded from things that you want to do. It's feeling like your life is being dictated to you on a very deep level, and the life that is yours is being denied to you. It's feeling and knowing that you are never acknowledged for how you are, and not even being able to acknowledge yourself trying to keep it hidden.

But to see yourself as you are, to have others acknowledge you as you are, to do the things you want, to live a life in which you can be you, it's like a great darkness and burden is lifted from your life. I don't even know if words can describe the feelings when you can finally smile at what we see looking back in the mirror.

That sounds hard to deal with I'm sure. Those feelings as you describe, no disrespect intended, seem to be things that for example I felt once before I came out as lesbian. The difference is, though, when I look in the mirror I see me. In other words, what you're describing could mean you could be anyone in that mirror not necessarily the other gender.

If we all did not have any male/female organs and genitalia and no physical and personality aspects that defines us as male or female--and--no cultural values and stereotypical norms that say what a female should say or do and likewise a male, how would any of us (not just transsexuals) know we are male or female?

In this example, I can look in the mirror and see brown skin, brown eyes, black hair....and without any reference to what or who a male or female actually looks like, how would I know I (if I were transsexual) different?

Given you look in the mirror and see a body that isn't yours--in this analogy--how do you know its the opposite gender when you wouldn't know what an opposite gender looks or feels like since everyone is the same?

You just know. Our identity is internalized, and like everyone else knows they are a man or woman, without even having to think about it, we too know who we are just because we know.

I guess growing up I had mixed feelings about my being male or female because I struggled with knowing I am attracted to females and only men are "supposed" to be attracted to females. I look like and act like a regular woman (hate the words, tomboy, butch, etc) rather than stereotypical lesbian woman you see on t.v.; so, it's kinda confusing. When it comes to gender identity, you're right, we know automatically. I kinda wish I can go outside myself and understand what it's like to feel like a male to understand this; because since it's so natural, it doesn't dawn on me I'm one or the other until society and my biological hormones start acting up.

It's like I'm in between until I'm shown otherwise. I don't know what that's about or what that is called. I never looked into it since it doesn't get to me like it would a transsexual or someone coming out.

I really hate to see people discriminated against because of how they identify themselves. My cousin got a lot of mess physically and mentally for it. I never got the full blown homophobia (in my case not hers).

 

[Penumbra]

This may be sensitive but I've been thinking about this. My cousin is a female trapped in a male's body. Most of our family respect her as a female, though a lot do not agree with his "supposed" choice to be a female.

When I think of myself, I don't think I have feelings that I am a male in a female's body because I don't know what it is like to feel like a male. Other than biological parts, I don't know what makes a male a male. Sexuality has been stereotyped so much that everything that goes out of the bounds of man and woman is abnormal. Definitions get blurred. People have overlapping feelings. Makes me wonder how we make sense of everything or claim we can.

Other than body parts and personality, what makes a male a male or a female a female to where we can differentiate when a transgender person says he or she is in the wrong body? What personality traits does he or she has that would make that person one gender when they feel they are another?

It can't be "I have an inner feeling that I'm supposed to wear dresses." Straight and non-transexual men wear dresses and they say they are men. It can't be just body parts. If someone is not a male or female how does that person feel the gender he or she is not when it comes to the parts? Does the woman feel they are "missing something"? Does a guy feel like "he has too much parts."? Even so, that doesn't make them (hypothetically speaking) the other gender.

So what does it feel like to be someone of the other gender when biologically (physically) you have all the aspects of your gender male or female? Is it personality? Do males and females have different spirits?

Maybe this would help me understand what my cousin believes.

Transgender is an umbrella term for a diverse set of things, so I think the best person to help you understand what your cousin believes, is probably your cousin.

Human brains are sexually dimorphic, meaning male and female brains have differences in certain areas, statistically. Studies show that transsexual people, have brains that in several areas, are more like the gender they identify as, rather than the sex they were assigned at birth. Scientists have narrowed the issue down to seeming to often be caused by incorrect hormone surges in the womb. The female brain either gets physically masculinized or does not, mostly based on correctly timed prenatal hormone surges. They have also found a strong genetic component to being transsexual, but that may be related to those hormone surges, rather than a separate thing.

There are also animal studies where for example they take a pregnant rodent, give her testosterone, and there result is that her female offspring mount other rodents like males throughout their lives. There are also indirect human studies. For example, if you a non-transgender man is given estrogen and has his testosterone blocked, which is sometimes a treatment for prostate cancer, a likely result is chemical depression; low testosterone is a contributor to depression in men. But if you give a male-to-female transsexual person estrogen and block their testosterone, they typically report feelings of improved well-being, prior to physical changes occurring. They seem to be running on the wrong hormones for chemical well-being before they make the switch.

I've seen transsexual/transgender women that are butch or tomboyish. Trans people generally do not change their bodies based on the belief that their personality is better suited to a cultural understanding of gender roles, and there is no gene that specifically makes a person want to wear dresses. Mostly what being transsexual seems to mean, is that their gender identity stays constant and they change their body, because for whatever reason, their brain is sending signals that their body is at a mismatch, whether it's genitals, secondary sex characteristics, what other people view them as, etc.

I found this paper rather helpful in understanding the phenomenon:
Pacific Center for Sex and Society - Clinical Implications of the Organizational and Activational Effects of Hormones

 

[Penumbra]

If we all did not have any male/female organs and genitalia and no physical and personality aspects that defines us as male or female--and--no cultural values and stereotypical norms that say what a female should say or do and likewise a male, how would any of us (not just transsexuals) know we are male or female?

In this example, I can look in the mirror and see brown skin, brown eyes, black hair....and without any reference to what or who a male or female actually looks like, how would I know I (if I were transsexual) different?

Given you look in the mirror and see a body that isn't yours--in this analogy--how do you know its the opposite gender when you wouldn't know what an opposite gender looks or feels like since everyone is the same?

If humans had no biological differences between the sexes, then transsexuality would likely not occur to begin with, because most of the research indicates that an individual becomes transsexual during the stage where the brain is hormonally masculinized or not, due to a biological mismatch. So the thought experiment isn't really representative of what's happening, as far as I can see.

In an asexual/agender world, there wouldn't be like, brains that incorrectly develop their receptors to run on estrogen and then are instead given testosterone by their bodies, or the other way around. There wouldn't be people or other animals that have deeply imprinted instincts designed for one set of genitalia only to find that they have a different kind.

The way I think of it, is that we're each clearly attracted to one sex or the other, or both, or some other combination. It's not a big stretch to assume that our brains, in addition to having an understanding of roughly what its mate's body should look like, also have an understanding of roughly what its own body should look like. It may be kind of like a toothache; we don't notice when our teeth feel good but we quickly notice when suddenly they are in pain. So non-transsexual people might not notice their own gender identity, like transsexual people seem to do. Like, we may not notice when our bodies just kind of work right, and we've not experienced being in the problematic position of having developed a sexually dimorphic female brain that is continually given testosterone rather than estrogen by the body, due to some mismatch.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Thank you for the reply. I don't have time to read the article now and reply with a better post, but that kinda made me think more about the physical rather than cultural components that makes a male a male or female a female. Of course, if I were a scientist, I could see the differences and interpret them... but for now, it's something that has been on my mind. I'd have to ask my cousin.. I just feel uncomfortable asking given she has gone through so much to be who she is, i don't want to ask her about that when she may be comfortable with no one bringing it up. Married and all. One day.

Transgender is an umbrella term for a diverse set of things, so I think the best person to help you understand what your cousin believes, is probably your cousin.

Human brains are sexually dimorphic, meaning male and female brains have differences in certain areas, statistically. Studies show that transsexual people, have brains that in several areas, are more like the gender they identify as, rather than the sex they were assigned at birth. Scientists have narrowed the issue down to seeming to often be caused by incorrect hormone surges in the womb. The female brain either gets physically masculinized or does not, mostly based on correctly timed prenatal hormone surges. They have also found a strong genetic component to being transsexual, but that may be related to those hormone surges, rather than a separate thing.

There are also animal studies where for example they take a pregnant rodent, give her testosterone, and there result is that her female offspring mount other rodents like males throughout their lives. There are also indirect human studies. For example, if you a non-transgender man is given estrogen and has his testosterone blocked, which is sometimes a treatment for prostate cancer, a likely result is chemical depression; low testosterone is a contributor to depression in men. But if you give a male-to-female transsexual person estrogen and block their testosterone, they typically report feelings of improved well-being, prior to physical changes occurring. They seem to be running on the wrong hormones for chemical well-being before they make the switch.

I've seen transsexual/transgender women that are butch or tomboyish. Trans people generally do not change their bodies based on the belief that their personality is better suited to a cultural understanding of gender roles, and there is no gene that specifically makes a person want to wear dresses. Mostly what being transsexual seems to mean, is that their gender identity stays constant and they change their body, because for whatever reason, their brain is sending signals that their body is at a mismatch, whether it's genitals, secondary sex characteristics, what other people view them as, etc.

I found this paper rather helpful in understanding the phenomenon:
Pacific Center for Sex and Society - Clinical Implications of the Organizational and Activational Effects of Hormones

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I just feel uncomfortable asking given she has gone through so much to be who she is, i don't want to ask her about that when she may be comfortable with no one bringing it up. Married and all. One day.

It's all in how you approach people, not pushing and prying for answers, respecting boundaries, and avoiding making someone feel put on the spot. Most of us do not mind answering questions (we'd rather inform and educate people than deal with the awkwardness), but do keep in mind, trans or not, most people are potentially put off by questions that may be interpreted as too personal, in which that case you will have to judge how close you are with your cousin and how she would react to those types of questions.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

True. Last time I talked wit her was three years ago right after she got her surgery. I was surprised she told me about it given we haven't talked much. I asked her a little about it; she was alright answering it then. I'll bring it up when it's appropriate of course; not too big of a deal, I hope. Thank you.

It's all in how you approach people, not pushing and prying for answers, respecting boundaries, and avoiding making someone feel put on the spot. Most of us do not mind answering questions (we'd rather inform and educate people than deal with the awkwardness), but do keep in mind, trans or not, most people are potentially put off by questions that may be interpreted as too personal, in which that case you will have to judge how close you are with your cousin and how she would react to those types of questions.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Hi, there. I'm a transsexual man. I can only speak for myself, but it's not so much about "feeling" as it is about perception of self along with strong dyphoria towards your body. As far as I can recall, I always perceived myself as a male. Around puberty, I hit a deep depression that lasted throughout my teen years. I was always disconnected from my body and my feelings of dysphoria became worse and worse as time goes on. I have even considered self-mutilation, so deep was my hatred of the things on my chest and between my legs Since beginning testosterone last year, I feel a bit more at home in my body, but still dysphoric because of my female characteristics that still/will remain. I may always be a bit dysphoric since I will never have an XY male body in this life unless science advances rapidly. I'm angry and hurt that I will never have a fully functional set of male parts. I will never be able to impregnate anyone. I will have to spend tens of thousands of dollars and undergo months of grueling serious surgery if I ever want to be able to feel myself inside of someone and that's on top of the thousands of dollars I will have to spend on chest reconstruction.

What science tells us is that the brains of transsexuals more closely match the brains of the sex we identify as. It's more correctly thought of as a sex differentiation disorder. Our bodies form their primary sex characteristics first in the womb. Then, a bit further along, the brain of the developing fetus is hit with a large amount of hormones and this either feminizes or masculinizes the brain. Apparently, in the case of transsexuals, our brains are hit with the sex hormones of the opposite sex of our chromosomes. So a transsexual woman's brain is hit with estrogen and a transsexual man's brain is hit with testosterone.

Apparently, along with this formation of the brain, there's also the concept of a brain map. Our brains seem to expect the body to be a certain way. When it's not, there's a large amount of distress. This may be the cause of the body dysphoria that is a hallmark of transsexualism. It's similar to phantom limb syndrome. There are reports of transsexual men actually feeling the sensations of having a penis when one isn't there.

So it's really nothing to do with society or culture. It's a medical condition and a pretty serious one. The only treatment that's known to work is cross-sex hormone therapy and surgery. Changing behavior, talk therapy, guilt, shame, repression, etc. don't work. I have tried to identify as a lesbian, but it didn't fit. I want to be with a woman as a man, not as a woman. I want to be a boyfriend, not a girlfriend. I want to be a husband, not a wife. I want to be a father, not a mother. I was never really a part of the lesbian community. I actually have more in common with the gay and bisexual male cultures and communities.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I'm sorry, I'm not getting all my alerts.

Hi, there. I'm a transsexual man. I can only speak for myself, but it's not so much about "feeling" as it is about perception of self along with strong dyphoria towards your body...

What science tells us is that the brains of transsexuals more closely match the brains of the sex we identify as. It's more correctly thought of as a sex differentiation disorder. Our bodies form their primary sex characteristics first in the womb. Then, a bit further along, the brain of the developing fetus is hit with a large amount of hormones and this either feminizes or masculinizes the brain.

Apparently, in the case of transsexuals, our brains are hit with the sex hormones of the opposite sex of our chromosomes. So a transsexual woman's brain is hit with estrogen and a transsexual man's brain is hit with testosterone.

That's strange. I know it does affect transgender physically given testosterone in a female body... mentally, though? How does one feel like a female or a male? Maybe I'm kinda confused because I'm lesbian. However, I do know I am a female physically.. but mentally, the only difference between a transgender and I (I assume, no insult) is that I feel I'm right in this body mentally even though I don't identify my thoughts and attractions as male or female. (I don't know what you call that, really).

Apparently, along with this formation of the brain, there's also the concept of a brain map. Our brains seem to expect the body to be a certain way. When it's not, there's a large amount of distress. This may be the cause of the body dysphoria that is a hallmark of transsexualism. It's similar to phantom limb syndrome. There are reports of transsexual men actually feeling the sensations of having a penis when one isn't there.

Wow. You do not have to answer (or can answer in pm), do you feel the other way around, that you should have a penis but there is something missing? (Actually, this is a good topic for one-to-one... if you don't mind us exchanging feelings and points of view)

So it's really nothing to do with society or culture. It's a medical condition and a pretty serious one. The only treatment that's known to work is cross-sex hormone therapy and surgery. Changing behavior, talk therapy, guilt, shame, repression, etc. don't work. I have tried to identify as a lesbian, but it didn't fit. I want to be with a woman as a man, not as a woman. I want to be a boyfriend, not a girlfriend. I want to be a husband, not a wife. I want to be a father, not a mother. I was never really a part of the lesbian community. I actually have more in common with the gay and bisexual male cultures and communities.

Given what you told me, I completely understand why. Many people, for example Deaf and GBL people don't consider themselves having a medical condition. Both have a culture behind their views and "togetherness" type of thing. I thought transgender would be in that category. Since it's a medical a condition, do you see yourself as ill--like having a sickness? Or different as many GBL people feel, we are different but not broken, type of thing? I know you cant speak for all transgenders, though.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I'm sorry, I'm not getting all my alerts.

No worries.

That's strange. I know it does affect transgender physically given testosterone in a female body... mentally, though? How does one feel like a female or a male? Maybe I'm kinda confused because I'm lesbian. However, I do know I am a female physically.. but mentally, the only difference between a transgender and I (I assume, no insult) is that I feel I'm right in this body mentally even though I don't identify my thoughts and attractions as male or female. (I don't know what you call that, really).

You're asking how does one know whether one is a man or woman? I agree with what Penumbra said about it, that transsexuals are forced to constantly recognize our gender and cissexual people (non-trans people) don't have to think about it because they do not experience body dysphoria. If you are at home with your female body and have no problem being identified as a female/woman and living in the social role of a female/woman, then you're not a transsexual.

With transsexuals, the way we experience things is that - for example, with me as a female to male transsexual - internally, I perceive myself as a male. When I visualize myself in my mind, I am a male. The things that I want out of life, say with sex and relationships, are visualized with me in the male role. When I dream, I'm a man. You just automatically know. But then I see my body and how I'm perceived by others and there's a mismatch. My body is saying female and people are seeing a female, when I see myself as male.

If I had a male body, I'm sure I wouldn't think of it too much, because I wouldn't really be given reason to think about my gender. Everything would just fit and it wouldn't need a second thought. But, as transsexuals, we're forced into the position of being hyper-aware of it.

Wow. You do not have to answer (or can answer in pm), do you feel the other way around, that you should have a penis but there is something missing? (Actually, this is a good topic for one-to-one... if you don't mind us exchanging feelings and points of view)

If I feel that I should have a penis? Yes, of course. Along with testicles, scrotum, a prostate gland, a male bone structure, etc., etc.

You can ask me whatever you wish. I'm a pretty open person. If it's too private, feel free to message me.

Given what you told me, I completely understand why. Many people, for example Deaf and GBL people don't consider themselves having a medical condition. Both have a culture behind their views and "togetherness" type of thing. I thought transgender would be in that category. Since it's a medical a condition, do you see yourself as ill--like having a sickness? Or different as many GBL people feel, we are different but not broken, type of thing? I know you cant speak for all transgenders, though.

Well, I don't see myself as sick or diseased. I view it as more akin to having something like a birth defect that needs to be corrected.

I'm not sure if there is a "transsexual culture" as with gays and lesbians. Much of our "culture" would consist of exchanging advice and support. There are some people who explore spirituality and art with it, however, but those types of people aren't likely to identify as transsexuals. They tend to view it as more of a positive thing, which is something that I can't agree with, although I suppose I can understand it.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I'm sorry, I'm not getting all my alerts.

No worries.

That's strange. I know it does affect transgender physically given testosterone in a female body... mentally, though? How does one feel like a female or a male? Maybe I'm kinda confused because I'm lesbian. However, I do know I am a female physically.. but mentally, the only difference between a transgender and I (I assume, no insult) is that I feel I'm right in this body mentally even though I don't identify my thoughts and attractions as male or female. (I don't know what you call that, really).

You're asking how does one know whether one is a man or woman? I agree with what Penumbra said about it, that transsexuals are forced to constantly recognize our gender and cissexual people (non-trans people) don't have to think about it because they do not experience body dysphoria. If you are at home with your female body and have no problem being identified as a female/woman and living in the social role of a female/woman, then you're not a transsexual.

With transsexuals, the way we experience things is that - for example, with me as a female to male transsexual - internally, I perceive myself as a male. When I visualize myself in my mind, I am a male. The things that I want out of life, say with sex and relationships, are visualized with me in the male role. When I dream, I'm a man. You just automatically know. But then I see my body and how I'm perceived by others and there's a mismatch. My body is saying female and people are seeing a female, when I see myself as male.

If I had a male body, I'm sure I wouldn't think of it too much, because I wouldn't really be given reason to think about my gender. Everything would just fit and it wouldn't need a second thought. But, as transsexuals, we're forced into the position of being hyper-aware of it.

Wow. You do not have to answer (or can answer in pm), do you feel the other way around, that you should have a penis but there is something missing? (Actually, this is a good topic for one-to-one... if you don't mind us exchanging feelings and points of view)

If I feel that I should have a penis? Yes, of course. Along with testicles, scrotum, a prostate gland, a male bone structure, etc., etc.

You can ask me whatever you wish. I'm a pretty open person. If it's too private, feel free to message me.

Given what you told me, I completely understand why. Many people, for example Deaf and GBL people don't consider themselves having a medical condition. Both have a culture behind their views and "togetherness" type of thing. I thought transgender would be in that category. Since it's a medical a condition, do you see yourself as ill--like having a sickness? Or different as many GBL people feel, we are different but not broken, type of thing? I know you cant speak for all transgenders, though.

Well, I don't see myself as sick or diseased. I view it as more akin to having something like a birth defect that needs to be corrected.

I'm not sure if there is a "transsexual culture" as with gays and lesbians. Much of our "culture" would consist of exchanging advice and support. There are some people who explore spirituality and art with it, however, but those types of people aren't likely to identify as transsexuals. They tend to view it as more of a positive thing, which is something that I can't agree with, although I suppose I can understand it.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I replied in "conversation" or pm.

No worries.



You're asking how does one know whether one is a man or woman? I agree with what Penumbra said about it, that transsexuals are forced to constantly recognize our gender and cissexual people (non-trans people) don't have to think about it because they do not experience body dysphoria. If you are at home with your female body and have no problem being identified as a female/woman and living in the social role of a female/woman, then you're not a transsexual.

With transsexuals, the way we experience things is that - for example, with me as a female to male transsexual - internally, I perceive myself as a male. When I visualize myself in my mind, I am a male. The things that I want out of life, say with sex and relationships, are visualized with me in the male role. When I dream, I'm a man. You just automatically know. But then I see my body and how I'm perceived by others and there's a mismatch. My body is saying female and people are seeing a female, when I see myself as male.

If I had a male body, I'm sure I wouldn't think of it too much, because I wouldn't really be given reason to think about my gender. Everything would just fit and it wouldn't need a second thought. But, as transsexuals, we're forced into the position of being hyper-aware of it.



If I feel that I should have a penis? Yes, of course. Along with testicles, scrotum, a prostate gland, a male bone structure, etc., etc.

You can ask me whatever you wish. I'm a pretty open person. If it's too private, feel free to message me.



Well, I don't see myself as sick or diseased. I view it as more akin to having something like a birth defect that needs to be corrected.

I'm not sure if there is a "transsexual culture" as with gays and lesbians. Much of our "culture" would consist of exchanging advice and support. There are some people who explore spirituality and art with it, however, but those types of people aren't likely to identify as transsexuals. They tend to view it as more of a positive thing, which is something that I can't agree with, although I suppose I can understand it.

 

[Lj Mark]

I am transgender also, born male, but I identify as female, but at times I feel non binary also, meaning between male and female.

I agree with st. Frankenstein on the info and perspective explained, it was quite accurate in every way.

For me, I did not realize my true identity until I was in my 50s. My upbringing, parents, school, church had brainwashed me so thoroughly as to how I was expected to act as a man, I spent most of my life withdrawn, depressed with constant anxiety and stress. My inability to fit that mold made me an alcoholic much of the rest of my life, trying to hide the pain, and fill the void missing in my being.
When I discovered my female qualities a few years ago, and started allowing them out and allowing myself to feel, think and behave in a female manor, my whole life changed.
The drinking stopped, the anxiety, stress and depression disappeared, and a sense of completeness and authenticity began, and there are no words to explain the wonderful feelings that followed.
I am now the real me, the person I was always meant to be, but was forced into a kind of prison for many years, then finally let out and released.!
I feel wonderful now, I'm the real me, no more masks, no hiding myself or parts of myself, just 100% authentic me.!
I'm so happy now..
That's what its all about.!!