UU joke of the day/week

[Antiochian]

A group of people knocked on a guy's door, and attempted to convert him to their sect:

"Have you found Jesus, my friend?"

The guy responds, "Yeah, I have. He saw you coming and hid behind my couch."

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

A group of people knocked on a guy's door, and attempted to convert him to their sect:

"Have you found Jesus, my friend?"

The guy responds, "Yeah, I have. He saw you coming and hid behind my couch."

Nice one. Here's an oldie but a goodie.

A man bought a brand new Ferrari. He wanted to get a blessing for it, so he went to see his priest.
"Father O'Hanlon, can I have a blessing for my Ferrari?"
"Certainly, my son, but what's a Ferrari?"

The man was so incensed that the priest wasn't impressed with his new car that he went right up the street to the first Protestant church he saw.
"Reverent Schmidt, can I have a blessing for my Ferrari?"
"Naturally, but what's a Ferrari?"

The man took off again and stopped at the synagogue two blocks away. "Rabbi Zimmerman, can I have a blessing for my Ferrari?"
"Of course. But what's a Ferrari?"

At last, in desperation, the man wen tto the Unitarian Universalist Society. "Ms. Dibble-Fujimoto, can I have a blessing for my Ferrari?"
"Wow!" she said. "You got a Ferrari? Can I have a ride in it?"
The man took the UU Minister once around the block. He then asked, "Now, can I please have a blessing for my Ferrari?"
"Sure. What's a blessing?"

 

[keithnurse]

I have heard that this is a true story: At a predominantly black Roman Catholic church someone decided to make the sanctuary more culturally relevant to the members of that parish so they removed the white Jesus from the crucifix over the altar and replaced it with a black Jesus. A member walked in the next Sunday morning and said about it, "haven't we already been through enough? why would we want to see a black guy getting the death penalty?"

 

[keithnurse]

On Monday afternoon little Johnny came home from public school and told his parents they had started beginning each school day with a prayer. Today we prayed for a blessing from our heavenly father. The father clucked with approval. The mother smiled politley. Tuesday Johnny said Today we gave thanks to the mother goddess. The mother clucked with approval and the father frowned. Wednesday: we gave thanks to all the different gods and goddesses, both parents sputtered their disaproval. Thursday: we heard a talk from secular humanists about "there is no god", both parents decided to call the school and complain. Friday : we meditated until we reached nirvana. All hell broke loose.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

A Universalist church burned down and several other churches in town sent financial contributions to help rebuild. One church included a note which read: "I regret that church law prevents our giving to help build a new Universalist church, but here is a contribution to help you tear down what is left of the old one."