verbal vs physical abuse

[Charity]

Even though there are no scars or bruises that could be visible to anyone looking at you, Could verbal abuse be as bad as physical abuse? Someone constantly telling you , your aren't good enough, your stupid, you can't do anything right. How do you handle this and how long should someone take this type of abuse before walking out and closing the door on that part of your life....Does anyone have the right to do this to someone even if it is a husband, partner, father, or mother?

 

[whereismynotecard]

you should never verbaly or physically abuse anyone, no matter who you are. (father, mother, spouse...)

If someone is telling you that you aren't good enough and all of that, you should try to explain to them that they are being a jerk, but if they simply will not listen, then forget about them. Leave. Tell them you don't need them, because they are the one who isn't good enough, not good enough for you.

 

[DallasApple]

Of course no one had the right to do that to someone..

But I still say...people assume physical abuse is "only physical"..Being physical abused doesnt "heal" once the wound is gone always..physical abuse leaves emotioanl wounds as well..So its a "double whammy"...

I hate when someone says "Id rather be physically abused"...Maybe they would..But unless they have had both they wouldnt know..

Take someone who is raped?...Lets just say there are no broken bones..their isnt any physical damage..The totality of the damage all be it a "physical" assault in emotional truama..

If you beat a dog but talk sweet to it?...It turns mean anyway..

Both are damaging..Im just saying with physical you get both..

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

If I never yell at my children..always say sweet things to them ..encourage them..tell them I love them???..Then I hit them?..(in an abusive way not a spanking) ..they will suffer tremendous emotionally damage no matter how non verbally abusive I am...

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

Even though there are no scars or bruises that could be visible to anyone looking at you, Could verbal abuse be as bad as physical abuse? Someone constantly telling you , your aren't good enough, your stupid, you can't do anything right. How do you handle this and how long should someone take this type of abuse before walking out and closing the door on that part of your life....Does anyone have the right to do this to someone even if it is a husband, partner, father, or mother?

Oh and how long you should take it is up to the individual..How you handle for now untill you decide is not believing what the devil is teling you..Lies form the pit of hell.And surround your self with people you can trust who can comfort you and tell you the truth..That is ..you are PRECIOUS and you ARE "good enough"..and point to everything you do right...people who verbalize love to you not hate and jealousy..

Love Again..

Dallas

 

[Magic Man]

No, no one has the right to do that to anyone, especially if it is a parent or spouse, etc. Verbal abuse can do much more harm than physical. It lasts a lot longer, and can cause wore things, like suicide.

 

[DallasApple]

No, no one has the right to do that to anyone, especially if it is a parent or spouse, etc. Verbal abuse can do much more harm than physical. It lasts a lot longer, and can cause wore things, like suicide.

Look of rape truama syndrome..suicide is a high risk..so is post truamatic from physical abuse..The truama from physcial abuse can last a LONG time..

Never tell a victim of physcial abuse its "worse" than verbal unless you have expereinced both..

Love

Dallas

 

[Magic Man]

Look of rape truama syndrome..suicide is a high risk..so is post truamatic from physical abuse..The truama from physcial abuse can last a LONG time..

Never tell a victim of physcial abuse its "worse" than verbal unless you have expereinced both..

Love

Dallas

But what is it about the rape trauma that results in suicide? It's the psychological part. There's no question that physical abuse is horrible and causes severe damage. But hitting someone is not the worst part about the physical abuse. It's the message it sends to the person being abused. I don't mean to downplay your experiences, but the verbal abuse causes the psychological problems more easily than the physical abuse, and the psychological problems are what cause suicide and the like. I'd much rather get into a fight with a guy in a bar and get beat up, than have my wife constantly degrade me and make me feel worthless.

 

[Somkid]

Yep, maybe worse because it makes you lose your mind. Physical bruises heal in a matter of days mental ones don't heal so easily if they ever do. I had a girlfriend like this she would try to tear me down every day and make me feel small and insufficient (which is fine I'm a Buddhist I already know that) but I mean in a really nasty hateful way. I read a book called "Walking on eggshells" to see if I could help her or if I could learn how not to set her off. The book was great and gave me insight about people like this but she continued her crap and I seriously dumped her, after which she promptly started stalking me. Turns out she had a few mental problems (yep, I kind of figured) but she wouldn't take her meds and be a good girls so screw it that was that.

 

[DallasApple]

But what is it about the rape trauma that results in suicide? It's the psychological part. There's no question that physical abuse is horrible and causes severe damage. But hitting someone is not the worst part about the physical abuse. It's the message it sends to the person being abused. I don't mean to downplay your experiences, but the verbal abuse causes the psychological problems more easily than the physical abuse, and the psychological problems are what cause suicide and the like. I'd much rather get into a fight with a guy in a bar and get beat up, than have my wife constantly degrade me and make me feel worthless.

I used rape as an example..You dont have to say a "word"..rape is a physical assalult against your body..So is hitting someone in the face and splitting their lip..So is twisting someones arm and breaking it...No words need be said..There will be extreme trauma that goes way beyond the physical wounds..Verbal or non verabal..

Your talking about getting in a fight with some guy in a bar?..Sure..That person doesnt "love you" and you never have to see them again..But NO ONE can tell me that Im better off..or my children..or my parents..or anyone living with someone or close to someone physically abusing you is easier to get over than verbal..That would be a lie..

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

So...I beat my child...then I tell them I love them..

Right..they will get over it...

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

Physical bruises heal in a matter of days mental ones don't heal so easily if they ever do.

Physical bruises heal.....YES ..but the truama of someone who is supposed to protect you inflicting them DOES NOT!...It will drive you INSANE that someone who loves you puts BRUISES on you as well....

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

Also Mball?? See you arent comparing apples to apples...Wouldnt you rather be called an a-hole by some guy in a bar than have him hit you in the head and give you a cuncussion?One is verbal asault..One is physical..By a stranger..So your saying you would rather have a brain bleed..by the dude ...than him call you a name?

Love

Dallas

 

[Nessa Nenharma]

Even though there are no scars or bruises that could be visible to anyone looking at you, Could verbal abuse be as bad as physical abuse? Someone constantly telling you , your aren't good enough, your stupid, you can't do anything right. How do you handle this and how long should someone take this type of abuse before walking out and closing the door on that part of your life....Does anyone have the right to do this to someone even if it is a husband, partner, father, or mother?

I know I am new here but I am willing to open up about this one.
I was in a VERY abusive relationship when I was younger. This boy ( I call him a boy now because no MAN would act in such a manner) used to abuse me just about everyday for close to 3 years. He was the type to use emotional and verbal abuse more than physical abuse. I was told I couldn't touch him because I was unclean. He used ot make me kneel in the floor and called me DOG. I was fat, ugly, stupid, a whore, everything you could think of. He told me once that he was going to break my spirit, and he did. I was a shell of what I used to be. Then the violence came to a head one night, I moved from my spot on the floor (his buddies and him were watching TV), he disapproved. He back-fisted me so hard that he broke my jaw bone. As I lay on the floor, he dragged me by my hair up the stairs and shoved his knee in my throat so I couldn't get up. He tried to get his "friend" to rape me, but his friend backed out, and ran down the stairs. I was punched several times, he even drove my head through a wall. I fought back with all I had, and ended up kicking him down the stairs.

I walked away with 12 broken bones, including 4 ribs.
I didn't write all of this for pity, because I don't want any. I just wanted you all to understand where my comment on this is coming from.
I believe that verbal abuse is ten times worse than physical abuse. When I went to the hospital I was broke (spiritually). I didn't even know how to be me. I was lost and confused. I felt like a tiger must feel after years of captivity and then suddenly being set free.

To answer the other parts of the OP, I think the FIRST time someone is abused they should get out. Of course they will get the "I'm sorry" treatment or the "You know I love you right?" plead. I say leave, and never look back.

NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO PUT THEIR HANDS ON SOMEONE ELSE. NEITHER DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO BELITTLE, OR ABUSE YOU IN ANY WAY.

:bb:

Nessa

 

[mrscardero]

I've had both. I don't wish physical or mental abuse on anyone. No matter what. Like the saying of "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"? I don't believe in that. Physical and/or verbal abuse can leave scars. When one or both happen, please either protect yourself or stand up for yourself. Don't let that person step all over you or allow them to think that they are better or stronger. Don't let them see or make them think that you are weak. Don't show them tears. Be strong! You should be respected. Everyone should be respected.

 

[feather]

Even though there are no scars or bruises that could be visible to anyone looking at you, Could verbal abuse be as bad as physical abuse? Someone constantly telling you , your aren't good enough, your stupid, you can't do anything right. How do you handle this and how long should someone take this type of abuse before walking out and closing the door on that part of your life....Does anyone have the right to do this to someone even if it is a husband, partner, father, or mother?

They say "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me", I say Yes, they do. Verbal abuse can be one of the worst. You can handle it for a while then you lose a grip, and you start questioning yourself. That's when problems begin and you lose yourself. As far as I am concerned no one has the right to do this to someone and non one should have to put up with it. There are some severe cases where people never recover from this type of abuse.