Wearing My Hijab Around Family

[ayani]

hey- i usually wear hijab, but i will take it off around family not comfortable with it just yet. i'm some what split between the attitude of "heck, they'll get used to it" and "i should be more compassionate and less attached to the veil itself". i do not believe that hijab as in "head scarf" is specifically mandated in the Quran, but i do wear it as a sign of muslim identity and faith. it should be up to the individual woman, imo.

 

[AbdelHalim]

hey- i usually wear hijab, but i will take it off around family not comfortable with it just yet. i'm some what split between the attitude of "heck, they'll get used to it" and "i should be more compassionate and less attached to the veil itself". i do not believe that hijab as in "head scarf" is specifically mandated in the Quran, but i do wear it as a sign of muslim identity and faith. it should be up to the individual woman, imo.

Why do u only use half shahadah la illaha illalla?

 

[AbdelHalim]

It doesn't state in the Quran that one must cover their hair or wear a hijab. However, this is mentioned in the hadith (equivalent to the talmud in Judaism) and I suppose it is up to the individual how they interpret their obligations to God.

God makes it clear in the Quran that it is essential for one to cover their private parts and that the best garment is the garment of God consciousness. I personally feel that I have not and do not compromise my faith by not wearing a head scarf.

24:31 And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.
33:59 O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.
Not up to individual this Allah command us to obey, individual has no right to blunder & criticiz. Muslims easily understand no compromise no argument.

 

[Katzpur]

Wear your hijab if you want to, Holly -- just not to Sacrament Meeting.

 

[almifkhar]

to the op

wear it or don't its your choice, but you should not let someone else decide that for you not even your family. if they love you and i'm sure they do, they will come to at least tolerate you.

 

[Yeshua_Lives]

Hi everyone. I can't wear my hijab around friends and family because they would know that I am a Muslim if I did. My family would disown me if they knew I was a Muslim and my friends probably would too. What can I do? Just not wear a hijab?

If they are truly your family and friends, then they probably should accept you regardless of your religion.

 

[moonyman]

What’s all this tale about the veil?
Fred and Gail shout and hail
Straw as hero
For his hail of fire on Aïsha’s attire.
Did Straw want Aïsha to show
Herself from head to toe?
Let Gail wear a mini-skirt
For her flirt.
And let Aïsha wear on her face
Or on her hair
Whatever piece
That would bring her peaceVis-à-vis God and vis-à-vis Man.
Oh, man!
Why d’you wish her to disclose
Her beautiful eyes and nice nose
Or her lips or her hips
If that belongs to her?
Come on, Sir!
That body you want her to show
Is a diamond dearer than the glow
Of the face of Marilyn Monroe!

 

[Hyperborean]

When I first became a Muslim, I did not tell my father until six months after. At that point, I wrote an "epistle" to him to explain that I had entered into the service of Allah (swt), explaining the virtue of the Islamic faith and the decadence of the modern world. I suppose he begrudgingly accepted it, but he is still not comfortable with my choice.

That is his decision, and inshallah, one day he will also come to the right path.

 

[suumi]

Gradually changing your wardrobe to be more modest seems like the right way to go about it for someone in your situation, rather than making a drastic change. Also, you can still use Western style clothing provided it is modest enough. Unfortunately a lot of Western converts get sucked into this notion that they *need* to wear Pakistani or Arab ethnic clothing to be considered a "real" Muslim. There is a blog you can Google featuring the diversity of modern Muslim female dress, worldwide. It is called "Hijabs High." Different styles, and yes, even different amounts of coverage.

Trying to please everyone and wearing 2 different identities (1 in private, 1 for your family/friends) is an exhausting way to live. You're an adult and your family should respect your decisions about what kind of life you want to live. Gradual changes are easier to accept than sudden ones. I really respect people who are able to make that change into a new religious identity suddenly, but I have seen it with my own eyes that it often isn't good for a person to jump right into superficial aspects like appearances, when they are still taking spiritual baby steps. Faith is a journey which takes many years.

P.S.: I think this obsession people have with women and what they do or do not wear is spiritually unhealthy, it is as if hijab has become the only measure of a woman's piety.

 

[Katzpur]

Gradually changing your wardrobe to be more modest seems like the right way to go about it for someone in your situation, rather than making a drastic change. Also, you can still use Western style clothing provided it is modest enough. Unfortunately a lot of Western converts get sucked into this notion that they *need* to wear Pakistani or Arab ethnic clothing to be considered a "real" Muslim. There is a blog you can Google featuring the diversity of modern Muslim female dress, worldwide. It is called "Hijabs High." Different styles, and yes, even different amounts of coverage.

Trying to please everyone and wearing 2 different identities (1 in private, 1 for your family/friends) is an exhausting way to live. You're an adult and your family should respect your decisions about what kind of life you want to live. Gradual changes are easier to accept than sudden ones. I really respect people who are able to make that change into a new religious identity suddenly, but I have seen it with my own eyes that it often isn't good for a person to jump right into superficial aspects like appearances, when they are still taking spiritual baby steps. Faith is a journey which takes many years.

P.S.: I think this obsession people have with women and what they do or do not wear is spiritually unhealthy, it is as if hijab has become the only measure of a woman's piety.

By the way, I wonder if, when you posted this response, you noticed the religion du jour of the poster who started the thread.

 

[monta]

Gradually changing your wardrobe to be more modest seems like the right way to go about it for someone in your situation, rather than making a drastic change. Also, you can still use Western style clothing provided it is modest enough. .

I hope this isn't an unwelcome intrusion into the discussion, but I thought it might be helpful to have a non Muslim pov seeing as the family in question is non Muslim.

My sister gradually changed her dress and was studying in secret, it was obvious to them what was going on, even though it was modified western clothes she was wearing and they found it sneaky and it made them more distrustful of her choice to convert.

 

[Katzpur]

I hope this isn't an unwelcome intrusion into the discussion, but I thought it might be helpful to have a non Muslim pov seeing as the family in question is non Muslim.

Not only is the family in question non-Muslim, so is the author of the OP. The way this was explained to me was the changing religions on the average of 4 to 6 times a year, year after year, is a symptom of a mental illness of some kind. I didn't buy that explanation, but maybe you will.

 

[Ghostaka]

If you are living in liberal democratic societies, your switching religion and dress style would not be grudged by anyone and you would have legal protection. But if you were living in Saudi Arabia (the citadel and bastion of Islam) and a Muslim there, you would probably be arrested if you were to convert to Christianity or Hinduism and display your new religious enthusiasm openly.

Wow, such an assumption. Do you think she still wouldn't have this problem if she lived in a "liberal democratic " society? She'd be receiving death threats on the daily.

As for KSA, if she wasn't a Muslim in the first place what is the problem? I don't get the logic are you using to assume that she would be arrested. Don't you know that there are Christians and Hindus living there with no probelms? Hault the propaganda spreading please.

Peace be upon you.

 

[Ghostaka]

Maybe you could handle the hijab issue this way: Wear it only one day a week, since you're only a Muslim about one day a week anyway.

Sorry I didn't understand this part of your comment. From my experience, when you're a Muslim, you should be so 24/7 not once a week. Sorry if I misunderstood.

Peace be upon you.

 

[fatima_bintu_islam]

He meant that he is presuming she is not a muslimah.

Now, wether you are a muslimah or not; I would like to advise you to go on a forum called "multaqa ahl alhdeeth" ( plz google it, i cant post URLS yet) and ask a bro there called ayman ben khaled who is a very knowledgeable and wise brother, and inshallah he can help u with this.

 

[logicalperson]

Well do you have a job?Its not about wearing hijab.Its about telling your family.
Ask your dad :should I take a right decision if see one?
Slowly work.

 

[Union]

Well do you have a job?Its not about wearing hijab.Its about telling your family.
Ask your dad :should I take a right decision if see one?
Slowly work.

Hi there . Did you see the date of last post of this thread ? It is 2010 !! Check the same for other threads you posted .

Nevertheless welcome to RF .

 

[ivan-sa]

All, I have just registered here. I have only recently started to attend Mosque, not really a Muslim yet.

Is this forum then for Muslims (Sunni) only? Can nobody else post or comment?

If it is this closed, maybe I am not welcome here either?

It does make it very difficult to start knowing about a specific religion.

Yours,

 

[Smart_Guy]

All, I have just registered here. I have only recently started to attend Mosque, not really a Muslim yet.

Is this forum then for Muslims (Sunni) only? Can nobody else post or comment?

If it is this closed, maybe I am not welcome here either?

It does make it very difficult to start knowing about a specific religion.

Yours,

Hello there

You can start your own threads here, but for asking questions only, taking the answers, respectfully asking for clarifications for them if needed but without commenting opinions on them that does not go against the belief of the DIR.

In threads made by others, it could be different. Not sure about the details.

 

[ivan-sa]

Sorry, should have been more clear.

I was merely commenting on the post from A_E:

***MOD ADVISORY***

Please keep in mind that this is a Sunni forum, and only Sunnis can post their opinions here.

Thanks,
A_E

It sounds as though any other person but a Sunni can be here.

Ivan