What advice would you give someone who is starting their 30's?

[The Sum of Awe]

I'm only several months older than you, so the advice I'll post is what I tell myself now. It may or may not work for you; I hope it does, even if a little.

- Enjoy the time you can spend with your family (assuming your relationship with them is healthy). They are getting older, and you don't want to regret not spending time with them when you could.

- Emotional self-sufficiency is a must. There will be times when you can't rely on anyone else for emotional support. Learn to go out on your own and to enjoy your own company. That's totally fine. Friends come and go, even close ones; the only absolute constant in your life is yourself. Company definitely helps, but if need be, it's better to learn how to survive on your own now than later.

- A relationship isn't a substitute for the above. Get into a relationship because you want to, not because you feel a need. It won't replace emotional self-sufficiency, nor should it. Your emotional eggs belong in your own basket.

- Don't compare yourself to others; only to your own goals and what you want to achieve. There will always be someone better off or worse off. Don't let that render you discouraged or complacent. No two lives are identical; comparison is pointless unless it motivates you to do better and helps you.

- Take care of your health as much as you can. If the last two years have demonstrated anything, it's that your health-related decisions may have noticeable effects decades later. That body ain't changing; keep it in as good of a shape as you can now.

- Don't let your plans and career isolate you from family and friends. A successful career without a loving, caring social circle is soulless and lonely.

I remind myself of these things frequently nowadays. Some days are harder to stay motivated through than others, but things have been getting better in the last few years--slowly but surely.

I appreciate all of your advice, it's very good advice. I would say I am self-sufficient, I know how to make myself happy, but the thing is that I always return to deep unhappiness because I learned perhaps too much to rely on myself? I already have let my plans and career isolate me from friends and family, it's just been a trial reinventing my social self.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I've been in; stopped by while traveling that corner of Iowa. No one was there but a large Buddha statue and a cat, though. They both seemed welcoming.

Well, there's certainly more strip clubs dotting Iowa, I'm sure, but I'm not going to hunt down links for all those.

If you're in small town Iowa, you're probably going to want to find some larger cities if its night life you're looking for.

I was thinking that too, I've looked into a few places and will try them out. It seems the larger cities like waterloo, CR, cedar falls, are within an hour range from me and have a lot of options for nightlife (they are college cities after all). I guess i'm mostly just asking if it's too late for me to start that up? I feel like I might be too old for that? People at my age generally are starting families.

 

[JustGeorge]

I was thinking that too, I've looked into a few places and will try them out. It seems the larger cities like waterloo, CR, cedar falls, are within an hour range from me and have a lot of options for nightlife (they are college cities after all). I guess i'm mostly just asking if it's too late for me to start that up? I feel like I might be too old for that? People at my age generally are starting families.

Well, you get to decide when you're too old for something, not everyone else.

Waterloo's a cesspool. Don't come here for the nightlife; its pretty crimey. (Its where I live.) Unless you like a rougher crowd, then by all means! Just be careful about where you go.

Cedar Falls is more reputable, but you are going to be older than most on College Hill, yes. I'd try downtown if you go that route.

I don't know CR very well, can't help there.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Well, you get to decide when you're too old for something, not everyone else.

Waterloo's a cesspool. Don't come here for the nightlife; its pretty crimey. (Its where I live.) Unless you like a rougher crowd, then by all means! Just be careful about where you go.

Cedar Falls is more reputable, but you are going to be older than most on College Hill, yes. I'd try downtown if you go that route.

I don't know CR very well, can't help there.

I appreciate the advice!

 

[Secret Chief]

You teeth, or your pension?

My pension just about pays for my teeth.