What are girls taught today?

[bobhikes]

I want my six granddaughters to grow up and have a man in their lives like my husband. He holds doors open for women, he respects women and will get up and give his seat to a woman every time. He treats his mother with tenderness and respect, and he treats me that way as well.

He also enjoys his role as bread winner. When we met and got married, I had a career, and he supported my decision to pursue it. However, about a year ago he brought up the idea of me quitting my job so we could spend more time together. After mulling it over for months, I felt that the benefits for our entire family outweighed the negatives, and I quit my job. It was the best decision we have made in a long, long time.

I am grateful that I am married to someone who is willing to take a leadership role in so many areas in our relationship, because he understands that leadership is a SERVICE role. In return for his service, I respect him, admire him, and show him appreciation - which is genuine. I show this respect and appreciation, not only by my words, but by my actions - I keep a clean house, I cook good, healthy meals, I make sure the laundry is done and the house runs smoothly. When he is out of town, or unable to do so, I visit his parents and check on them regularly (they are elderly. This past week, I knew he had been working a lot of hours, and I mowed our 1 acre yard with a push mower by myself so that he wouldn't have to come home from out of state and immediately feel pressured to mow the yard. He would have been willing to - but I was willing to as well. He caught a break and I was glad to be able to give it to him!


He has given me one of the greatest gifts of my life - time with my family.

See - this whole thing goes both ways. He would not have been as willing to shoulder the financial burden alone, if I had not clearly demonstrated my respect and appreciation for him.

Sadly - many boys these days are not being raised to even consider this as an option - but why would they, when so many girls are not being raised to respect and appreciate their strengths?

Sad, really.

I still think that boys are raised to the same standard but as Songbird says they follow what they learn through life. Girls are giving mixed messages now. There is no clear picture for what they want. The boys get confused and then get unclear answers from the adults in their lifes.

I believe girls are being raised to respect men and boys but are being taught more things are important than settling down and having a family. They are being taught to enjoy life and then think about a family. Specifically in the US.

 

[Sunstone]

We're living in a time of new ideas and rapid social change. Many of us also live in very diverse nations. Given all that, I think it's inevitable that the messages we send girls (and boys) would vary considerably from one family to the next, from one caregiver to the next, and even over time.

I often think that, of all the changes we see these days, the predominant change is that we have -- or are becoming -- a consumer culture. I also think that might go well beyond just buying what we want when we want it. It seems to me that consumerism sets up certain expectations about life that spill over into such things as what we expect from our mates, from our marriages, for our children, and for ourselves, among other things.

For instance, I think consumerism tends to reduce human worth to ownership. Not just material ownership, but also immaterial ownership. You are what you own, whether that be a car, or a boyfriend, or a politics. And if so, I think a lot of girls are being taught that they can and should find their value as a person in what they possess.

It seems to me, however, that if that is the message we're sending kids, then it is misleading them. For I believe real happiness must be based on fulfilling who you are as a person in a socially responsible manner. For instance, if you have an inherent talent for music, then you usually will be happiest if you can find some way to develop that talent into a skill and express it. Consumer culture seems to tell you that you can be just as happy by buying other people's music and identifying with it -- that is, by physically and psychologically possessing it. But I don't think that's true, and I think it misleads kids to tell them that's true.

Those are my guesses.

 

[Kathryn]

I still think that boys are raised to the same standard but as Songbird says they follow what they learn through life. Girls are giving mixed messages now. There is no clear picture for what they want. The boys get confused and then get unclear answers from the adults in their lifes.

I believe girls are being raised to respect men and boys but are being taught more things are important than settling down and having a family. They are being taught to enjoy life and then think about a family. Specifically in the US.

You really do believe that our culture encourages women to respect men? Wow, I don't see that at all.

 

[Viker]

They're being taught self destruction.

 

[Storm]

They're being taught self destruction.

Are they any different from boys in that regard?

 

[Viker]

Are they any different from boys in that regard?

No. We're soaking in a cult of self killing and self hate. The youngest are almost completely immersed.