What do different religions teach about casual sex?

[Trailblazer]

As a member of the Baha'i Faith, I've learned that our teachings emphasize sex only within the bounds of marriage between a man and a woman. This view aligns with many other religious traditions. For example, Christianity, especially in the New Testament, condemns sex outside of marriage, labeling it fornication. However, I've noticed a disconnect between these teachings and the behaviors of many self-identified Christians on dating sites, where casual sex seems prevalent.

I'm curious about Judaism and Islam's perspectives on casual sex, as well as those of Buddhism and Hinduism. Understanding these different teachings could provide more insight into why casual sex is so normalized despite various religious doctrines. Personally, I've struggled with the pressure to engage in casual sex from men I've met online, many of whom claim to be Christians. Their lack of adherence to their faith's teachings makes it difficult for me to respect them. As a result, I've chosen to stay true to my principles, even if it means staying single.

Hello, and welcome to the forum.

These days sex out of wedlock is just taken for granted so I don't think it matters what one's religion teaches. I have been a Baha'i since I was 17, but even before that I would never have sex out of wedlock although that was very prevalent back when I was a teenager, with free love having just become acceptable. I was a hippie but never engaged in free love.

I got married when I was 32, and my husband was also a Baha'i, age 42, and neither one of us had ever had sex. I was married for 37 years and have been a widow for two years now. Some people wonder why I would want to marry again at my age. It would be for companionship, love, and having someone to share life with. After having someone for 37 years life feels very empty being alone, although I am not completely alone since I have eight cats!

I do not relish the thought of being alone for the rest of my life, and I am alone since I have no children or other family, and no close in-person friends. I have been on several dating sites and the main issues with men I meet are that they live too far away, I have too many cats, or I won't have sex out of wedlock. I keep thinking there has to be someone who I would be compatible with, but I am leaving that to the will of God. All I can do is make myself available, and if nobody comes along I will accept that. I don't need a man for sex or financial support since I have no desire for sex and I am financially well off. The reason I might want to marry again would be for love and to have a companion to share my life with, although a big bonus would be if he was a handyman!

 

[Link]

Salam

Curious question, what was Bah'allah's justification for canceling Muta?

 

[ppp]

Hello, and welcome to the forum.

These days sex out of wedlock is just taken for granted so I don't think it matters what one's religion teaches. I have been a Baha'i since I was 17, but even before that I would never have sex out of wedlock although that was very prevalent back when I was a teenager, with free love having just become acceptable. I was a hippie but never engaged in free love.

I got married when I was 32, and my husband was also a Baha'i, age 42, and neither one of us had ever had sex. I was married for 37 years and have been a widow for two years now. Some people wonder why I would want to marry again at my age. It would be for companionship, love, and having someone to share life with. After having someone for 37 years life feels very empty being alone, although I am not completely alone since I have eight cats!

I do not relish the thought of being alone for the rest of my life, and I am alone since I have no children or other family, and no close in-person friends. I have been on several dating sites and the main issues with men I meet are that they live too far away, I have too many cats, or I won't have sex out of wedlock. I keep thinking there has to be someone who I would be compatible with, but I am leaving that to the will of God. All I can do is make myself available, and if nobody comes along I will accept that. I don't need a man for sex or financial support since I have no desire for sex and I am financially well off. The reason I might want to marry again would be for love and to have a companion to share my life with, although a big bonus would be if he was a handyman!

I think that the views on sex of most religions are simplistic and lazy. They are attempts to force compliance through artificial standards. They try to justify those standards not only by over dramatization of the risks, but by intentionally creating rules to make any deviation from their rules riskier than necessary. Not just in sex, but in any intimate relationship not sanctioned by the given religion.

There is nothing intrinsically moral about your choices around sex, except for the fact that your choices suited you. They carry no moral weight beyond that Had sex for fun suited you better it would have been no more or less moral.

 

[IndigoChild5559]

What do different religions teach about casual sex? By casual sex I mean sex just for fun, sex without love, and sex outside or marriage.

I'm sure that you are aware that different branches of Judaism approach this differently, so I will only speak for myself here.

The whole point of marriage is that is creates a safe and stable home for the raising of children. Set politics aside, and look at the studies -- the biggest source of childhood poverty is kids being raised by single moms. I'm not saying that every marriage is good and loving and safe. I'm simply pointing to the top of the bell shaped curve. I'm also NOT saying that all single moms choose to be in that position -- many bring their kids into the world with every expectation that their marriage will last forever, and then still end up divorced. My problem is with the common culture that makes it "okay" to have babies outside of marriage.

I also read sometime last month that marriages where the couple waited until at least engagement to have sex, and that this was their only sexual partner in life, had the greatest amount of marital satisfaction.

Now let's talk about casual sex. I've been reading a lot of articles of late as to why young people are ditching dating apps, and even choosing voluntary celibacy (and I'm talking about men as well as women). Some sites have even gone so far as to say "the sexual revolution is over." It is very clear that MOST (though not all) people are looking for a meaningful relationship, not the one night stands that these apps facilitate. I think casual sex is especially hard on women, as our sexuality is deeply intermeshed with loving. it is quite common for a woman to start off thinking, "Oh this is just sex," and then the next month find that she has feelings for the other person.

I examined the many reasons that men and women are choosing voluntary celibacy, and the one that struck me the most was this: celibacy protects those who want a relationship from those who are looking to sexually exploit them.

 

[Trailblazer]

The whole point of marriage is that is creates a safe and stable home for the raising of children.

That is a Baha'i belief.

“The Bahá’í teachings on sexual morality centre on marriage and the family as the bedrock of the whole structure of human society and are designed to protect and strengthen that divine institution. Bahá’í law thus restricts permissible sexual intercourse to that between a man and the woman to whom he is married.” The Kitáb-i-Aqdas, p. 223

 

[Link]

That's nice as a general rule. But not everyone has the patience to endure and not everyone will find themselves in the right position for marriage. Muta also makes sense as an exception, for those who fear God's curse and can't find a means to marriage.

 

[Trailblazer]

That's nice as a general rule. But not everyone has the patience to endure and not everyone will find themselves in the right position for marriage. Muta also makes sense as an exception, for those who fear God's curse and can't find a means to marriage.

Endure what? You make it sound as if live without sex is like some kind of torture.
What is Muta?

 

[PureX]

I'm just guessing, here, but I suspect that most religions do not address the issue of who can have sex with whom, and under what conditions. That just hasn't been something that human beings fussed a lot about, generally. I know it seems like a big deal because all the Abrahamic derived religions are concerned about it, but the history of religions extends far beyond those three. And I am not aware of any significant concern apart from them.

 

[Link]

Endure what? You make it sound as if live without sex is like some kind of torture.
What is Muta?

It can be torture for a lot of people. Some people can endure others cannot. Muta is a contract for a set time (that can be extended) with a man and woman, to be able to have sex with each other. However, if there is a kid, the father is responsible over the kid. He has to raise him. The understanding is no kids are to be attempted but if it happens, the father is still responsible.

It's in the Quran.

The Quran however recommends patience is better. However, for those who fear God's curse, it's an option. Better then giving up and going all out in forbidden.

 

[McBell]

What is Muta?

It is basically legalized prostitution.

It is a temporary 'marriage' between a man and a woman where the man pays the woman to be his 'wife' for a short period of time.

 

[Link]

It is basically legalized prostitution.

It is a temporary 'marriage' between a man and a woman where the man pays the woman to be his 'wife' for a short period of time.

Is marriage legalized prostitution because the man has to pay the woman something as well in Islam?

 

[Link]

There is waiting period. So prostitution would happen only if the women ignores the waiting period. Otherwise, there is no way for her to make money with the waiting period.

 

[McBell]

Is marriage legalized prostitution because the man has to pay the woman something as well in Islam?

If marriage in Islam were all legalized prostitution then there would be no need for the Muta, right?

So what is the difference between marriage and Muta in Islam?
It is my understanding, and I may be wrong, that marriage is a life long commitment.
At least in theory.
Muta is a hall pass to have sex with Allahs supposed being ok with it.

 

[Link]

If marriage in Islam were all legalized prostitution then there would be no need for the Muta, right?

So what is the difference between marriage and Muta in Islam?
It is my understanding, and I may be wrong, that marriage is a life long commitment.
At least in theory.
Muta is a hall pass to have sex with Allahs supposed being ok with it.

Muta is for who fears falling into curse. It's exception to the general rule. But a lot of people fall under this exception. Marriage might not be an option for them and they may not have the patience to wait.

Marriage is the stabilizing institution. But if too many exceptions people can say the marriage system is too rigid. God said you can do do this if you fear falling into curse but if you are patient it is better and it's for who can't be with a married woman.

Of course, marriage can be abused, a person can marry, divorce, marry, divorce, marry, divorce... and do this continuously. so anything can be abused.

In theory Muta is an exception to the rule. It's not made to be first gate nor is supposed to become the norm and replace marriage. Some people are not fortunate enough for marriage.

It also suggests extending this to marriage if you find the person good.