What if a Friend Made a Joke You Found Racist, Sexist, Homophobic, Disrespectful of Your Religion, etc.?

[Debater Slayer]

This is a spin-off from the other thread I recently started:

What if You Found Out That a Friend Was Racist or Otherwise Hatefully Prejudiced?

What if you were in a friend group and then someone made a joke that you found to be racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, etc.? For example, if that person made a joke mocking sexual assault survivors or using racial slurs such as the N-word, how would you react, and why?

If you're a religious person and would find jokes mocking your religion to be disrespectful or perhaps even blasphemous, like most people where I live would, then please include such a scenario in the above hypothetical when answering.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I find jokes funny.

Many jokes have been made at my expense or the expense of a group I belong to, a good deal of them by yours truly. I have no idea why people take jokes so seriously.

I think people need to laugh more and stop taking themselves so damn seriously.

 

[Debater Slayer]

I find jokes funny.

Many jokes have been made at my expense or the expense of a group I belong to, a good deal of them by yours truly. I have no idea why people take jokes so seriously.

I think people need to laugh more and stop taking themselves so damn seriously.

If you found out that a racist, sexist, etc., joke partially or fully expressed genuine conviction on the hypothetical friend's part, would your perception of it change or remain the same?

I have found that the backdrop and larger context often make a significant difference. A joke between friends laughing with and at each other in a good-natured manner will be perceived by many people as one thing. A joke making fun of sexual assault survivors in a country like mine, which has one of the world's highest rates of sexual harassment and where women (including all of the ones in my friend group) deal with such harassment on a nearly daily basis, will be perceived by many people as a completely different thing.

The above is just to put the OP into perspective and add further context to my question in the OP.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

I find jokes funny.

Interesting. What is your favorite disrespectful antisemitic or islamophobic joke?

I think people need to laugh more and stop taking themselves so damn seriously.

"... taking themselves so damn seriously" is laughably off topic. I think people people need to consider damn seriously the attitudes they choose to normalize.

 

[SalixIncendium]

If you found out that a racist, sexist, etc., joke partially or fully expressed genuine conviction on the hypothetical friend's part, would your perception of it change or remain the same?

Intent certainly a large role on whether or not such a thing would even be considered a joke. If the "joke" expressed genuine conviction, it's no longer a joke, it an insult or mockery.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Interesting. What is your favorite disrespectful antisemitic or islamophobic joke?

I'm not sure.

What is your favorite loaded question?

"... taking themselves so damn seriously" is laughably off topic. I think people people need to consider damn seriously the attitudes they choose to normalize.

I think people need to stop making assumptions about the intent of others.

If you wish to fire shots, make sure you have loaded the correct ammunition.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

What is your favorite loaded question?

Do you think you are taking yourself too damn seriously?

 

[Balthazzar]

This is a spin-off from the other thread I recently started:

What if You Found Out That a Friend Was Racist or Otherwise Hatefully Prejudiced?

What if you were in a friend group and then someone made a joke that you found to be racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, etc.? For example, if that person made a joke mocking sexual assault survivors or using racial slurs such as the N-word, how would you react, and why?

If you're a religious person and would find jokes mocking your religion to be disrespectful or perhaps even blasphemous, like most people where I live would, then please include such a scenario in the above hypothetical when answering.

If able, I'd probably walk away. I do that anyway when people start mouthing off about other people. Truth is, I don't want to hear it.

 

[Stevicus]

This is a spin-off from the other thread I recently started:

What if You Found Out That a Friend Was Racist or Otherwise Hatefully Prejudiced?

What if you were in a friend group and then someone made a joke that you found to be racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, etc.? For example, if that person made a joke mocking sexual assault survivors or using racial slurs such as the N-word, how would you react, and why?

If you're a religious person and would find jokes mocking your religion to be disrespectful or perhaps even blasphemous, like most people where I live would, then please include such a scenario in the above hypothetical when answering.

In the here and now, I think most people know enough to avoid those kinds of jokes. If they don't and still tell them anyway, then that would be a red flag to me. However, there was a time when I was younger when such jokes were common and considered funny. Of course, racist, sexist, homophobic, and anti-trans attitudes were also pretty common, although compared to the denial of civil rights and wanton acts of violence, jokes might not have been seen as bad as that.

As a kid, I started hearing Polish jokes before I even learned that there was an actual place known as Poland. We had some kids in our class who were of Polish ancestry, and even they told Polish jokes, although I don't think anyone consciously associated those kids with the Polish jokes. However, nowadays, I don't hear people tell those kinds of jokes anymore, and for good reason. Reagan got caught telling a Polish joke during his 1980 campaign. I remember that caused a bit of a row. Back in those days, people might tell such jokes or laugh at such jokes just to go along with the crowd, but in the present day, I don't think it would be acceptable.

 

[ChristineM]

What if you were in a friend group and then someone made a joke that you found to be racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, etc.? For example, if that person made a joke mocking sexual assault survivors or using racial slurs such as the N-word, how would you react, and why?

Depends on who was cracking the joke and that their intension was.

For sexual assault, if warranted, my comment would be something along the lines of "you try it then see if you still find your joke funny"

If it were a racial slur I'd probably say "not funny" but, i know plenty of black guys who use the N word as a term of endearment so a black guy joking by using the N word would probably pass my scrutiny.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

This is a spin-off from the other thread I recently started:

What if You Found Out That a Friend Was Racist or Otherwise Hatefully Prejudiced?

What if you were in a friend group and then someone made a joke that you found to be racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, etc.? For example, if that person made a joke mocking sexual assault survivors or using racial slurs such as the N-word, how would you react, and why?

If you're a religious person and would find jokes mocking your religion to be disrespectful or perhaps even blasphemous, like most people where I live would, then please include such a scenario in the above hypothetical when answering.

When I'm on the ball and have had my coffee, I try to deflect with a joke that makes the person telling the original joke the butt of my joke and lets them know that their original joke was unwanted.

I am not usually this on the ball.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Depends on who was cracking the joke and that their intension was.

For sexual assault, if warranted, my comment would be something along the lines of "you try it then see if you still find your joke funny"

Small sidenote here...rape jokes don't have to target victims.
Amy Poehler made a joke at Bill Cosby's expense, for example, something to the effect that Sleeping Beauty had just been out for a coffee with Bill Cosby.
Amy Schumer did a whole extended skit parodying rape culture on American college campuses, and the privilege of sports stars.

If it were a racial slur I'd probably say "not funny" but, i know plenty of black guys who use the N word as a term of endearment so a black guy joking by using the N word would probably pass my scrutiny.

I see a lot of funny jokes playing at racial stereotypes. I also see a lot more that aren't funny. But I grew up on South Park, amongst other things, so parodying everyone with equal blunt force, including especially ones own groups is part of what I grew up with.

 

[Kathryn]

What if you were in a friend group and then someone made a joke that you found to be racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, etc.? For example, if that person made a joke mocking sexual assault survivors or using racial slurs such as the N-word, how would you react, and why?

If you're a religious person and would find jokes mocking your religion to be disrespectful or perhaps even blasphemous, like most people where I live would, then please include such a scenario in the above hypothetical when answering.

I would probably say something like "You're terrible," and drive on. If the joke was funny, I'd laugh - if it wasn't, I wouldn't laugh.

 

[Revoltingest]

What if you were in a friend group and then someone made a joke that you found to be racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, etc.? For example, if that person made a joke mocking sexual assault survivors or using racial slurs such as the N-word, how would you react, and why?

If you're a religious person and would find jokes mocking your religion to be disrespectful or perhaps even blasphemous, like most people where I live would, then please include such a scenario in the above hypothetical when answering.

I'm often the one making those jokes.
(The best humor is pain.)
And when they laugh, I lambaste them
for their prejudice.

 

[siti]

This is a spin-off from the other thread I recently started:

What if You Found Out That a Friend Was Racist or Otherwise Hatefully Prejudiced?

What if you were in a friend group and then someone made a joke that you found to be racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, etc.? For example, if that person made a joke mocking sexual assault survivors or using racial slurs such as the N-word, how would you react, and why?

If you're a religious person and would find jokes mocking your religion to be disrespectful or perhaps even blasphemous, like most people where I live would, then please include such a scenario in the above hypothetical when answering.

I think the ability to see humor in our cultural differences (including religion) is not necessarily a bad thing and we are sometimes way too sensitive about perceiving ourselves as the butt of a joke...

That said, some "jokes" are offensive - especially if they involve mocking victims of violence or injustice...I have no problem calling out someone who tells an offensive joke by telling them its out of order, in poor taste or it's sick.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Do you think you are taking yourself too damn seriously?

Do you think you are taking my self too damn seriously?

 

[SalixIncendium]

If able, I'd probably walk away. I do that anyway when people start mouthing off about other people. Truth is, I don't want to hear it.

What do you do when people start mouthing off about other people starting to mouth off about other people?

 

[Quagmire]

If you found out that a racist, sexist, etc., joke partially or fully expressed genuine conviction on the hypothetical friend's part, would your perception of it change or remain the same?

I find myself in this situation pretty often

As people become older they tend to acquire more stuff and more wealth and become more conservative.

This coincides with a period in their lives where they're becoming less patient and more concerned about their personal security.

Putting all that together I've seen a few people that I know go from indulging in a few off color remarks here and there about minorities or liberals to spewing actual hatred towards those groups with increasing venom and regularity.

It's disturbing and off-putting, but what I do if it's somebody that I'd like to keep in my life anyway is I ignore it, pointledly, and sooner or later some of them at least will get the hint that there's no benefit to them to be displaying their prejudice in my presence: I'm not going to laugh at their jokes or offer confirmation for their rants.

 

[Kathryn]

Putting all that together I've seen a few people that I know go from indulging in a few off color remarks here and there about minorities or liberals to spewing actual hatred towards those groups with increasing venom and regularity.

It's disturbing and off-putting, but what I do if it's somebody that I'd like to keep in my life anyway is I ignore it, pointlessly, and sooner or later some of them at least will get the hint that there's no benefit to them to be displaying their prejudice in my presence: I'm not going to laugh at their jokes or offer confirmation for their rants.

I find this to be true of any stripe of person, actually. I have a friend who is very, very liberal and she is CONSTANTLY posting things, talking about things, so much of it political. I just ignore her diatribes and her hatred isn't fed by me, that's for sure. So she has quit talking about politics to me, but she still posts stuff all the dang time, which is tiresome but oh well...

 

[Quagmire]

I find this to be true of any stripe of person, actually. I have a friend who is very, very liberal and she is CONSTANTLY posting things, talking about things, so much of it political. I just ignore her diatribes and her hatred isn't fed by me, that's for sure. So she has quit talking about politics to me, but she still posts stuff all the dang time, which is tiresome but oh well...

Oh no doubt. In fact just before you posted this I was thinking about the ways that some of my liberal friends become more [fill in the blank] as they get older.

In fact recently I've stopped talking to one of my liberal friends because he wouldn't stop insisting that I care about all the same things that he cares about to exactly the same degree that he cares about them, along with a schematic of what I should do about "[whatever]" once I wake up and start caring about [whatever].

In his case I've seen him become more self-righteous, more outspoken, more controlling and condescending as the years have gone by.