What is the secret of successful marriage?

[Milton Platt]

You know, there are couples that live happily ever after.....What is their secret? Do you know any example of that type of relationship?

What makes a marriage successful? Is that compatibility or willingness to compromise? Maybe love or common interests?

I just want to be armed and prepared when time comes.

Living in different states helps.....just kidding. I have been married for 30 plus years and am perfectly happy. Does not mean we do not have differences of opinion, or do not get under one another's skin on occasion. But at the end of the day, we both put the "we" before the "I".

 

[Sakeenah]

Been together 41 years, it's easy ... I just do what I'm told.

Very intelligent guy

 

[Kilgore Trout]

The secret to a long-lasting relationship is finding someone whom you are co-dependently compatible with.

 

[Parchment]

A successful marriage is like a dance, you work together as one, you help the other if they make a mistake and try not to let them fall, if one does fall the other picks them up and goes on with the dance. It's worked for +25 years for us- honest communication is the key, at least that's the way I see it.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

The institution called marriage in my thinking is a prison, you cannot institutionalize love, or friendship, I have never had anything to do with it and never will.

*scratches his head*
Whilst true that marriage doesnt neccessarily enhance love, describing it as a prison seems...well...hyperbolic.
I feel no more (or less...lol) trapped with my wife right now than I would if we were unmarried.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

A successful marriage is like a dance, you work together as one, you help the other if they make a mistake and try not to let them fall, if one does fall the other picks them up and goes on with the dance. It's worked for +25 years for us- honest communication is the key, at least that's the way I see it.

So presumably the honeymoon is the lambada?

 

[psychoslice]

*scratches his head*
Whilst true that marriage doesnt neccessarily enhance love, describing it as a prison seems...well...hyperbolic.
I feel no more (or less...lol) trapped with my wife right now than I would if we were unmarried.

Well of course this prison doesn't apply to everyone, and also most make their prison quite comfortable never realizing it is a prison.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Well of course this prison doesn't apply to everyone, and also most make their prison quite comfortable never realizing it is a prison.

*chuckles*

Fair enough mate. The latter assertion can be true of MANY things in life though.

 

[suncowiam]

not divorcing

 

[Scarlet]

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[McBell]

not divorcing

please define "successful marriage"

 

[Akivah]

You know, there are couples that live happily ever after.....What is their secret? Do you know any example of that type of relationship?

What makes a marriage successful? Is that compatibility or willingness to compromise? Maybe love or common interests?

Yes, I've been married to the same woman for 28 years. We've had our ups and downs. What made our marriage work is
1) effective communication. We had to learn from a marriage counselor how to do this.
2) A willingness to support each other's hobbies.
3) Being able to rely on each other without question.

 

[Akivah]

However, there is one quality that is very good at predicting how long a marriage will last.

Mutual respect.

Mutual respect. More important than love, compatibility, common interests, etc in determining how long a marriage will last.

I like that. When people ask me about my wife and I start extolling her and listing her admirable qualities, some people told me that they never heard anyone talk about their spouse like I do.

And I have to agree. Most of the time when people talk about their spouses, they're complaining. I have rarely heard people talk positively about their spouse. I believe that thoughts lead to words, which lead to actions. If one starts in a negative place, that it will eventually adversely affect your marriage.

 

[suncowiam]

please define "successful marriage"

I have no idea what I meant now.

Probably an ill-timed joke.

 

[oldbadger]

You know, there are couples that live happily ever after.....What is their secret? Do you know any example of that type of relationship?

What makes a marriage successful? Is that compatibility or willingness to compromise? Maybe love or common interests?

I just want to be armed and prepared when time comes.

Hi.....
I am one very very lucky bloke. My wife is fabulous.

Secret? I was more lucky than I ever deserved.
If you find a religion or faith, then it will be by the Grace of God.
If you find no religion it will be by brilliant good luck.

But do not write out a list of qualities that your intended must have, rather you should write out a list of qualities that you must have, and then, if you never find, you will be living in contentment anyway.


Good Luck!

 

[McBell]

I have no idea what I meant now.

Probably an ill-timed joke.

fair enough

 

[VioletVortex]

Finding a different definition of success.

Just kidding, the real secret to successful marriage is probably restraint. Dating for a considerable period of time before marrying, and when doing the aforementioned, it should be for a legitimate reason.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I find it interesting that none of the people who claim in same-sex marriage threads that marriage is about procreation have said here that the secret to a successful marriage is fertility.

 

[ChristineM]

Find a man who is supportive and kind
Find a man who is a great lover
The secret is, never let these two men meet?

No. Really.

Tolerance, trust, communication

 

[Akivah]

I find it interesting that none of the people who claim in same-sex marriage threads that marriage is about procreation have said here that the secret to a successful marriage is fertility.

Fertility is just table-stakes, it is part of the definition of a marriage.