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What Is Wrong With Letting a Man be a Gentleman?

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
From another thread..Ladies?..Do ya'll feel offended if a man opens a door for you and says "ladies first"?

And are you intimidated to admit that in fact most of us are physcially weaker by design?(not that we cant open our own door..but in general)...

Love

Dallas
 

Willamena

Just me
Premium Member
What Is Wrong With Letting a Man be a Gentleman?
Nothing. :D

From another thread..Ladies?..Do ya'll feel offended if a man opens a door for you and says "ladies first"?
Not at all. It's nice. I'd do the same for him (only I wouldn't say "ladies" first).

And are you intimidated to admit that in fact most of us are physcially weaker by design?(not that we cant open our own door..but in general)...
I'll just say a fact is a "fact", and I can hardly be intimidated by a "fact".
 

Charity

Let's go racing boys !
I like it when a man is a gentleman, I appreciate it when they show women respect and their gentle side..........But I like it when their are "a little on the bad boy side too"
 

Watchmen

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
I was watching Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World tonight and there was this interchange between a gentleman and a jerk fondling the waitress.

Gentleman: You, sir, are not a gentleman.

Jerk: Is that supposed to be an insult?

Gentleman: I can think of none worse.

I really liked it. :)
 

Nanda

Polyanna
From another thread..Ladies?..Do ya'll feel offended if a man opens a door for you and says "ladies first"?

No. I'm not going to get upset over someone being polite.

And are you intimidated to admit that in fact most of us are physcially weaker by design?(not that we cant open our own door..but in general)...

It really depends on the man and woman in question, but I do realize that, as a whole, women tend to be physically weaker. But that shouldn't matter in this day and age, and just because it's true in general should certainly have no bearing on hiring practices or military service - if a woman is strong enough, and many are, her sex should not be a deterrent.
 

Valjean

Veteran Member
Premium Member
The whole thing revolves around the idea that women are less capable than men, and must be symbolically assisted in ordinary activities. This has come to be proper etiquette.

Some women object to the deferential "assistance" as a slight. Eg:
Assisting a woman to load 80 lb sacks of cement into a truck is helpful. Opening a car door or sliding a chair out for her accentuates the myth of feminine helplessness and strokes the masculine sense of superiority.
I'm not sure this is a good thing....
 

cardero

Citizen Mod
The things I do as a gentleman, I do for both genders. If I open a door for a lady, rest assured that this and any other act of kindness will be extended for all humans. Patrickism doesn't discriminate.
 

Valjean

Veteran Member
Premium Member
I'd find it distinctly odd if another man slid my chair out at table, took my wrap, or opened my car door for me....
 

Hexaqua_David(II)

Active Member
I don't know about in the states, but where I live if I walked through a door without allowing a woman to go through first (especially if she is going in the opposite direction and the door is only wide enough for one person at a time), I would get a very cold look indeed. I agree with Seyorni in that chivalry does originate from the "myth" of female helplessness, but I doubt any sane women see it that way now. It's just a harmless tradition and most of the women I know would be appalled if a man didn't offer her his seat on the bus or something.

Interestingly, I saw a very good TV program this week about old inventions that were patented but never released. One of the patents was from the early 1900s and was for a clockwork, automatic "hat tipper", which would raise a mans hat automatically when his hands were too full to do it himself (as is the tradition in England). A scientist decided to take the blueprints and make the contraption as an experiment. He went to Harrogate, Yorkshire, and tried it out on the local women. He asked them "would this be a suitable replacement for a proper hat tipping if a man's hands were full?", and the reply 90% of the time was "no, he should put his bags down and do it properly, it's just good manners".

Try telling the women of Harrogate that chivalry is bad! =P
 

Scuba Pete

Le plongeur avec attitude...
All cultures are different. I find some colloquialisms fairly quaint and benign, and some turn into malicious stereotypes. It's important to keep the former while discarding the latter.

To that end, I have no problems opening doors, though I do it for all genders and ages. However, I have major issues with those who would tell my daughter what she is capable or incapable of doing.
 

Panda

42?
Premium Member
It is just polite. Really it is a custom and most men who do such a thing do it to try and be nice to people. What is wrong with trying to be a nice person?
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
It is just polite. Really it is a custom and most men who do such a thing do it to try and be nice to people. What is wrong with trying to be a nice person?

This is the way I see it..I dont get some encoded deeper meaning if a man opens my door..I asked my husband if he ever opens doors for women..He said 'of course and men too"....And women and men have held open or opened doors for him..He said he has also had women or men walk right in before him and the door shut in his face..and he thinks that is rude..

For me its more of an acknowledging another persons precense..These days there isnt much of that left..So I enjoy it when its there..Whats little there is...I dont care where it originated from..

Love

Dallas
 
A

angellous_evangellous

Guest
From another thread..Ladies?..Do ya'll feel offended if a man opens a door for you and says "ladies first"?

And are you intimidated to admit that in fact most of us are physcially weaker by design?(not that we cant open our own door..but in general)...

Love

Dallas

I dunno... with the atmosphere of feminism, I expect women to open doors for me. I open door for women and men as a courtesy if I happen to get to a door first, but I don't make a special effort unless it's for mom. :p
 

blackout

Violet.
I dunno... with the atmosphere of feminism, I expect women to open doors for me. I open door for women and men as a courtesy if I happen to get to a door first, but I don't make a special effort unless it's for mom. :p

I love holding doors open for others,
and I always appreciate when the same is done for me.

It's just a HUMAN thing.
People connect in those small acts of consideration.

And I guess I am a person who LOVES open doors anyway.;)
 

smidget

Member
Hmm, I only find it annoying if a male opens a door for only females, and if he refuses to let me open a door for him.
 
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