What Makes People Think It's Ok To Do This?

[Circle_One]

I'm SO upset with the world and people in it right now, I can't even begin to explain.
Why do people think it's alright to be so mean? Where were their parents when it was time to instill proper morals and values into them? What is wrong with them?

Here's the story: A friend of mine is dating a transexual guy. She's known since before they got together that he used to be female and she didn't care, obviously, because she liked him so much for who he was.

Last night, some girl that her boyfriend used to go to school with (when he was still a female) but is no longer friends with him because she stopped talking to him when he had the operations, found my friend's email on the net and sent her a message that said something along the lines of "So...does this make you...a lesbian?" My friend had no idea who this girl was and neither did her boyfriend at first because the email didn't say her full name, just part of it, and he didn't realize that it was this girl who the two of them had seen at the bar earlier that week pointing at him with all her friends around and laughing at him. Anyway, so my friend emailed this chick back and said "No, I'm not a lesbian, what would make you think that? That seemed like a very pointed comment so what exactly is it that you think would make me a lesbian?" (keeping in mind they still had no clue it was this girl).

Well, anyway, to make a long story short, the girl emailed my friend back this morning saying "Lmao.....so and so (the boyfriend)...uh..isn't all male..haha...ooops". As if she was just telling my friend a secret that she didn't already know, and like making a point to tell her that he used to be a girl.

I don't know..I'm just SO aggravated right now! How is it possible that people can be so cavalier about other people's feelings?

EDIT: So aggravated that I can't even spell it properly

 

[Green Gaia]

I don't know. Some people think it's their God-given right to go around offending and insulting whomever they want. I don't understand it either.

 

[michel]

just plain old Crass ignorance, intollerance and no respect whatsoever for anyone other than the person him/herself. Ego, Ego Ego......................


I can't say anything else - just that sentence nearly burned the keys off my keyboard....................... The only thing I can offer you C1, is the knowledge that there are people who care - and please tell your friend that.

 

[DreamQuickBook]

I don't know..I'm just SO aggravated right now! How is it possible that people can be so cavalier about other people's feelings?

EDIT: So aggravated that I can't even spell it properly

Mostly because people enjoy hurting other people. People who see themselves as being small, feel big when they belittle other people. You just have to ignore people like that. Be Stoic with them. You can't control their stupidity, so don't let it be an issue.

 

[CaptainXeroid]

Like the bumper sticker says: 'Mean people suck'

It sounds like you're a better friend than the old one who sent the 'anonymous' e-mail.

 

[Circle_One]

Thanks guys, I know there are people like this, it didn't really come to me as a surprise..more of a small shock than anything that this girl would feel the need to bring up such a personal bit of information and share it with people she doesn't know in order to hurt him. It just really got to me and I needed to vent, thanks for listening. I think I just kind of needed some solace, coming here to RF and telling you all as a way of reassuring myself that the majority of people aren't this mean.

Heartless people like this always just get to me a little too much. Especially when it comes to things like this.

The only thing I can offer you C1, is the knowledge that there are people who care - and please tell your friend that.

I will Michel, thank you for that.

 

[jewscout]

i'm sorry C1 sometime people just need a swift kick in the gluteus maximusKnockout

 

[Pussyfoot Mouse]

You almost want to feel sorry for the girl who sent the email. She obviously doesn't have much of a life of her own if she feels the need to "try" to destroy someone else's. Your friends are fortunate to have people like you in their lives. It's a shame that some people think it makes them feel better to hurt someone and feed of their negative energy. I sure hope your friends won't let this upset their happiness, because that's exactly what that girl was hoping to achieve.

 

[huajiro]

Too many people are idiots.....they try to make other people look bad to feel better, rather than working on their own shortcomings

 

[Circle_One]

Your friends are fortunate to have people like you in their lives.

Awwww, thank you

I sure hope your friends won't let this upset their happiness, because that's exactly what that girl was hoping to achieve.

No, they most definitely won't let this upset their happiness, they are both comfortable with everything and would never let something as petty as this come between them.

 

[Druidus]

Ugh... Misinformed and ignorant people can be horrible. But luckily, we can usually take it in stride. I'm glad your friends didn't let this bother them!

Now, to clear up some of my own ignorances, I have a few questions. If a female is surgically altered into becoming a male, does this new male have the ability to ejaculate? To bear children in the traditional sense? And if a male is surgically altered into becoming a female, does this new female have the ability to menstruate? Can they have children?

 

[fromthe heart]

C1...there are a lot of cold calculating folks in this world who are miserable and you know what they say...misery loves company. Perhaps this girl is like that of the school bully who isn't happy unless they are trying to pull someone down in the muck with them. Shake it off...what goes around comes around so try to remember that this hateful person will get hers one day.

 

[Circle_One]

Now, to clear up some of my own ignorances, I have a few questions. If a female is surgically altered into becoming a male, does this new male have the ability to ejaculate? To bear children in the traditional sense? And if a male is surgically altered into becoming a female, does this new female have the ability to menstruate? Can they have children?

I don't pretend to know every thing there is to know, but I will try to answer your questions as bet I can Dru.
I'm not sure about the male being able to ejaculate, I think they can, but I may be mistaken. They cannot, however, procreate. If they can ejaculate, I believe it's probably a simulation ejaculate and so there are no living sperm cells in it.

As for males who become females, they too, cannot have children, and I'm pretty sure they don't menstruate. That would mean they would have to fix the male=>female with a uterus, which, I believe, is not possible, yet.

Now, I could be completely wrong, I know more about Transexual males than I do transexual females, but even there, I'm not 100% knowledgeable on the subject.

 

[Fluffy]

Pity them. I know 8 year olds who are more mature than that. You can rely on one thing, if they do not change the way they react with the world then someday they will **** off a person less forgiving than your friend and then they will be physically unable to do the same thing again.

I am sorry that your friend and her boyfriend had to put up with this type of person. They sound like a very sweet couple, by the way, and I wish them all the best.

 

[Circle_One]

You can rely on one thing, if they do not change the way they react with the world then someday they will **** off a person less forgiving than your friend and then they will be physically unable to do the same thing again.

That less forgiving person very well could have been me. I was at the bar with them that night when this girl was sitting with her friends and laughing and pointing at him and I was so agitated that (after having a few drinks and getting more and more annoyed with her), I was more than ready to confront this girl, but the boyfriend asked me please not to. Having been beat up and picked on his whole life, he's not a fan of violence of any kind, even if it is semi-deserved (not that I'm saying any violence at all is deserved). And because I adore him so, I respected his wishes and merely sat down, kept my mouth shut and continued to stew about it.

Hearing the emails set me off again, but he, again, pleaded with me to calm down. He said he understood I was mad and he thanked me for caring so much as to stand up for him in any way, but he really didn't want me to start anything with her. So again, I obliged. But, if it wasn't for him and my extreme respect of him and his wishes, I would have confronted her the first time and this, perhaps, may not have come to such an extreme.

I am sorry that your friend and her boyfriend had to put up with this type of person. They sound like a very sweet couple, by the way, and I wish them all the best.=Fluffy

Thanks Fluffy. Everyone here has given me such reassurance, as I knew they would, as to the actual state of this world's inhabitants and for this, I am grateful to you all.

They are the sweetest couple! They are so perfect for each other and it is for this reason that I get so upset with people, as if true love and happiness must depend on such trivial things as whether or not a certain person was born with certain parts, etc. etc.

 

[Quoth The Raven]

Sounds to me like this girl - who obviously had issues with the fact her friend had the gender reassignment - is pissed off that he has managed to move on with a life that doesn't involve her and is obviously happy with his life, and she just wanted to get his attention. She's obviously not a big enough person to be able to try and regain his friendship, but she wants to make her presence felt in his life. Sort of a,'How dare you manage to get along without me...I'll fix you up.' thing.
Personally, I would have sent her back an email saying something along the lines of," I'm sorry, I missed where you where someone who mattered enough to have an opinion I'd care to hear."
Fact is, some people are just sad.

 

[kreeden]

I can't begin to explain people ... However , as I see it , there is a key thing to keep in mind when anyone has a problem with anything , and that is that it is THEIR problem , and only becomes yours if you allow it to . There is even a thread on this forum that states " My Problem With ... ". And most problems can be reduced to just that ...

But that doesn't help much eh C1 ? I can't figure out why people are always trying to make their problems other people's problems myself . But as people have pointed out , it is nice to have a friend like you when they do .

 

[Scuba Pete]

I am so sorry C1.

People use meanness to compensate for something they can never experience: True Friendship. Their loss. Frubals on your head for your loyalty!

 

[Shadow Wolf]

And if a male is surgically altered into becoming a female, does this new female have the ability to menstruate? Can they have children?

If a male was altered into female, the testicles would have to be completly re-wired and changed into to ovaries to produce the egg to be fertilized. I might be possible since sex chromosomes determine if the first two lumps of a developing fetus become ovaries or testicles. But then again, the testicles would have to be reprogrammed, so it might not.
Same with a female becoming male. Also, (I think) the prostate gland wouldn't be thier, and an ejaculation would not be the same.

I think the one girl is suffering from low self esteem, and takes the easy way to regain it by picking on targets she percieves as easy, and for the wrong reason. If she still insist on going on, your friend could email her back with some really dumb sarcastic response like "Oh really? I had no idea, even though I knew him before he had surgery." I've found the easiest way to deflated an inflated ego is to pop it with a good word game.
I do hope your friend and her friend can work things out.

 

[Fluffy]

That less forgiving person very well could have been me. I was at the bar with them that night when this girl was sitting with her friends and laughing and pointing at him and I was so agitated that (after having a few drinks and getting more and more annoyed with her), I was more than ready to confront this girl, but the boyfriend asked me please not to. Having been beat up and picked on his whole life, he's not a fan of violence of any kind, even if it is semi-deserved (not that I'm saying any violence at all is deserved). And because I adore him so, I respected his wishes and merely sat down, kept my mouth shut and continued to stew about it.

Hearing the emails set me off again, but he, again, pleaded with me to calm down. He said he understood I was mad and he thanked me for caring so much as to stand up for him in any way, but he really didn't want me to start anything with her. So again, I obliged. But, if it wasn't for him and my extreme respect of him and his wishes, I would have confronted her the first time and this, perhaps, may not have come to such an extreme.

Then all I can do is echo what has already been said on this thread, that these people are incredibly lucky to have a friend like you.