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What Would Jesus Pack?

dyanaprajna2011

Dharmapala
According to Family Guy, it was machine guns that Jesus and Moses used to beat the Romans, so I think he'd go with an M-16 or something similar.
 

Quintessence

Consults with Trees
Staff member
Premium Member
Is it sad that when I read "what would Jesus pack?" the first thing I thought of was a suitcase? I'm not going to claim to know either way. Jesus isn't a figure I make enough study of to feel like I could get inside his head.

Now Ares on the other hand... *snickers just thinking about it* ...what wouldn't he pack? And good 'ol Hephaistos swings a mean hammer... but in the modern day, I tend to think of him as the Tony Stark of the Greek pantheon. He'd be using whatever is the latest and greatest awesome technological gizmo that is decades ahead of its time.
 

no-body

Well-Known Member
Nothing as such verses are metaphorical in nature. Jesus told his disciples to drop their swords when the Romans came for him.

One would assume he would just blow peoples heads up with his magical powers rather than using conventional weaponry anyway.
 

Skwim

Veteran Member
After reading Luke 22:36 do you believe Jesus would be pro Second Amendment?
No, because he would never belong to a well regulated militia that would have him as a member.

Jesus is a loner.
jesus-gun.jpg

 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Staff member
Premium Member
Jesus wouldn't decide fully-automatic, he sees the advantage in the speed of the fully-automatic, but sees the greater advantage in the slowness of the semi-automatic.

Jesus wouldn't choose a shot-gun, as it is an overkill, and he wouldn't take more than he needed, he'd probably choose a hand-gun.

Jesus wouldn't choose a 9mm because the bullets are much too swift, he would believe a Desert Eagle would do the trick.
 

Amechania

Daimona of the Helpless
Anyone who could grow a new hand on a perfect stranger could outfit himself with quite a package I would imagine.
 

Bob Dixon

>implying
Jesus would pack his bong/bowl/pipe/bubbler/steamroller/vapo/etc

I'm thinking it would be a vapouriser. Efficiency and health-consciousness above all. But it might be hard to find a plug in the desert.

Allow it. He'd smoke blunts. Fat blunts, too.
 

Iti oj

Global warming is real and we need to act
Premium Member
I'm thinking it would be a vapouriser. Efficiency and health-consciousness above all. But it might be hard to find a plug in the desert.

Allow it. He'd smoke blunts. Fat blunts, too.
water into wine- cactus into hemp?
he would remember the 3 p's puff puff pass, and the gun he carried would be a gag shock lighter shaped like a gun

i feel like jesus would smoke a bubbler gets high with the disciples and tells judas he turned the bong water into wine. :shrug:
 

beenie

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
*Staff Advisory*

Please keep Rule 6 in mind when posting; thank you.


6. Illegal Activities
Encouragement of others to participate in any activity that is illegal under U.S. laws is prohibited. This includes the use of illegal drugs, infringement of intellectual property rights, all violent crimes, terrorism and any/all criminal activities. Mentioning of engagement in any illegal activity, such as the above or others is also prohibited. Religious allowances are not basis for exemption from moderation. Members are only allowed in some cases to mention their engagement in activities that are illegal under U.S. laws if said activities are not illegal in the member's own country/state.
 
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