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What's the funniest thing you've ever heard a child say out loud during church?
- Thread starter texan1
- Start date
Starfish
Please no sarcasm
I'm sure there are much funnier examples, but here's one--our three-year-old announced in full-volume in the middle of a service, "This is boring!"
I love the story about the toddler, who had gotten into his mother's purse and was standing on the pew in full view, with a tampon in his mouth.
I love the story about the toddler, who had gotten into his mother's purse and was standing on the pew in full view, with a tampon in his mouth.
Sanctuary-Seeker
Professional Cinderella
My daughter yelled out in church after taking communion "that was some good Jesus"
Katzpur
Not your average Mormon
My three-year old daughter, who fortunately was very hard to understand at that age, was sucking the thumb of her right hand and had her left hand down her diaper. I whispered to her, "Honey, take you hand out of your diaper right now." She turned to me and said (in a voice that could clearly be heard but with terrible pronunciation), "I pay if my dzina if I wannoo." If you need to have me translate, forget it.
texan1
Active Member
Oh my gosh these are funny. Here are some I have heard:
It is tradition in Catholic Mass for the Priest to begin by saying "Peace be with you." and my nephew responded very loudly "And a pizza for you too!"
Another time a child said "Who's getting married?" [Parents: "No one"] "Then why are we at church?"
It is tradition in Catholic Mass for the Priest to begin by saying "Peace be with you." and my nephew responded very loudly "And a pizza for you too!"
Another time a child said "Who's getting married?" [Parents: "No one"] "Then why are we at church?"
whereismynotecard
Treasure Hunter
Aww... I don't have any funnies... I've never been to church.
cardero
Citizen Mod
The funniest and most profound thing I heard a child say but was only audible to about three pews was an argument between mother and son.
SON: (whining) I want to go home.
MOTHER: (whispering sternly) Shhhhh, You are in the house of GOD.
SON: Well when's He going to get here?
I never forgot that one.
SON: (whining) I want to go home.
MOTHER: (whispering sternly) Shhhhh, You are in the house of GOD.
SON: Well when's He going to get here?
I never forgot that one.
kadzbiz
..........................
This isn't a church one, but I thought it was hilarious when I first heard it. This is a true story. It happened to a friend of mine.
An avid car restorer, my friend rebuilt an old classic vehicle that he was going to take out on the road for the first time. He had a five year old son that never spoke a word until this very day. Initially my friend thought there was something wrong with his son. The son had seen his dad over his five years restoring the classic car. On the day it was due for it's first restored drive, the dad urged his son, "C'mon, get in." With the whole family and a bunch of friends around ready to witness this momentus occasion, the five year old speaks his first words; "I'm not f*****g getting into that piece of sh**."
An avid car restorer, my friend rebuilt an old classic vehicle that he was going to take out on the road for the first time. He had a five year old son that never spoke a word until this very day. Initially my friend thought there was something wrong with his son. The son had seen his dad over his five years restoring the classic car. On the day it was due for it's first restored drive, the dad urged his son, "C'mon, get in." With the whole family and a bunch of friends around ready to witness this momentus occasion, the five year old speaks his first words; "I'm not f*****g getting into that piece of sh**."
sandandfoam
Veteran Member
When my daughter was small she heard the story of Cain and Abel, she said "wasn't he related to the man that stole the apple" I said he was.
She said "They're a tough family aren't they"
I thought it was brilliant.
She said "They're a tough family aren't they"
I thought it was brilliant.
Starfish
Please no sarcasm
This wasn't said in church, but reflects the morality and innocence of a child.
Years ago, just outside of our town there was a nude-dancing bar. One day my husband and our 9 yr-old son were driving by it and our son asked what it was. His dad told him, and after a pause, our son's comment was that it's a good thing there were no windows in it because it would probably cause a lot of accidents. Then he added, "Everyone would shut their eyes as they drove by."
Years ago, just outside of our town there was a nude-dancing bar. One day my husband and our 9 yr-old son were driving by it and our son asked what it was. His dad told him, and after a pause, our son's comment was that it's a good thing there were no windows in it because it would probably cause a lot of accidents. Then he added, "Everyone would shut their eyes as they drove by."
Hema
Sweet n Spicy
When I was very little and I used to go with my folks to the Mandir, my dad would sometimes record discourses from well learned people. Some years ago my dad dug up a couple of his old tapes and was playing one of them. In the middle of one of them I heard a little child's voice saying, "I want to pee." I laughed and asked my mom who said that. She said, "That's you!" However, I don't think I said it out loud for everyone to hear. Still it sounded funny on tape.
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
HA! Bunch of 'ardnuts.
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
HA! that is good. Funny kid.
Fat Old Sun
Active Member
I'm not one to toot my own horn, but my parents love telling this story so I will share it with you.
When I was about 6 or 7 years old, the minister brought a bunch of children up in front of the congregation. He loved doing this every so often because you never know what they are going to say. The subject at hand that day was Lent. He asked everyone what they were giving up. After numerous declarations of forgoing candy, cookies, and ice cream, it was my turn. As the microphone turned my way, I proudly proclaimed my intended sacrifice ... "BROCCOLI!"
When I was about 6 or 7 years old, the minister brought a bunch of children up in front of the congregation. He loved doing this every so often because you never know what they are going to say. The subject at hand that day was Lent. He asked everyone what they were giving up. After numerous declarations of forgoing candy, cookies, and ice cream, it was my turn. As the microphone turned my way, I proudly proclaimed my intended sacrifice ... "BROCCOLI!"
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
That...is... GREAT!
The "F" word, over and over, during the Priest's sermon. Kid's Mom tried to shut him up, but he wouldn't stop. Over and over, "F**K" he said in lilting tones. The entire congregation ended up falling off their seats laughing...
MiChAelThOmPsOn72
Member
Mommy? Daddy's snoring again.
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
HAAAA!!!!! Thats just fantastic!!!
Ciscokid
Well-Known Member
LOL!!!! Now that's funny.