What's Wrong With Sincerely Saying, "Our Thoughts And Prayers Are With You."

[james bond]

It's the same as saying, "May the Force be with you," but not science fiction. It shows empathy. It shows being together with that person despite your differences.

I get some people get carried away with their religion ad nauseum, so I'm not talking about these religious nuts. However, there are internet atheists who do so, too, with their complaints.

The other complaint I have is politics being carried over to sports and consumerism. Just today, I've had to read people on both sides of the political spectrum taking pot shots at each other because a liberal sports figure cannot do their job due to health pain. It was unfortunate that this individual spoke out against Trump, but he does not deserve ill will for it. That said, I do wish ill will on one liberal sports figure, but I also think this person has an a-hole personality. Yet, I bite my tongue. Is there something Jesus said about this?

 

[ADigitalArtist]

Keyword 'sincere.' Some of the times 'I'll pray for you is just insincere code for 'I hope you realize you're wrong' or 'it would take an act of God for you to see you are wrong' and that's just being a prick.

Sometimes it can also seem insincere because it could be an empty gesture. 'I'll pray for you as a substitute 'I'll help you.' This is only when someone has the means to help but opts for prayer. This is especially aggravating when it's being said to someone you know doesn't believe prayer does anything. Sort of adding insult to injury. Two working hands does more than a million closed in prayer, and all that.

But in a helpless situation when there's nothing to do but aknowledge the pain someone else is going through? 'I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers' wouldn't insult me.

 

[dianaiad]

Keyword 'sincere.' Some of the times 'I'll pray for you is just insincere code for 'I hope you realize you're wrong' or 'it would take an act of God for you to see you are wrong' and that's just being a prick.

Sometimes it can also seem insincere because it could be an empty gesture. 'I'll pray for you as a substitute 'I'll help you.' This is only when someone has the means to help but opts for prayer. This is especially aggravating when it's being said to someone you know doesn't believe prayer does anything. Sort of adding insult to injury. Two working hands does more than a million closed in prayer, and all that.

But in a helpless situation when there's nothing to do but aknowledge the pain someone else is going through? 'I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers' wouldn't insult me.

I utterly agree with you. Not a word did you say here that I can argue with...but for some reason there's no 'like' or 'winner' button for me to push, so you'll have to make do with, y'know, actual words.

 

[crowfeather]

"What's Wrong With Sincerely Saying, "Our Thoughts And Prayers Are With You."

Is it actually sincere? Do you know what sincerity is? Why are you even saying it?
You mention it is a way of "showing" something or other, and this whole concept is questionable.
If somebody, anybody, takes exception to it, then that should tell you something.
Should you care? Probably not. People take exception to all sorts of things, inoffensive or not.
Personally, I prefer to err on the side of appearing unsympathetic, because that is generally what I am.
I don't "sincerely" care about you any more than you do about me.

Good question, though. I'm sure you're not the only one to have pondered this subject.

 

[Kemosloby]

Talk is cheap, and everybody knows if you're serious about your prayers you have to fast for 40 days. Or at least one day wearing sackcloth and ashes.

 

[Bob the Unbeliever]

It usually doesn't bother me, but the context is everything.

If it's given in response to someone posting a tragic event in life? Then likely, it's real--and the poster doesn't know what else to say, so at least they say that, in sympathy. I'm totally not offended or bothered-- sympathy/empathy is what humans do.

But. Sometimes? The phrase is deliberately given to someone they know does not believe.

Then? I see it as bullying, plain and simple. All too often? (among inter-religious dialog) It's bullying, and not a sincere expression of sympathy.

Context. It matters.

 

[crowfeather]

"Talk is cheap, and everybody knows if you're serious about your prayers you have to fast for 40 days. Or at least one day wearing sackcloth and ashes."

Golly. I didn't know that. I wasn't big on praying before I read that, but now I'm sure I'll never do it at all.

 

[Deidre]

I don't see anything ''wrong'' with it, but I think it's said sometimes when someone doesn't know what to say when a friend etc is caught up in a tragedy. I don't think it ''needs'' to be said, though. Why not just pray for the person, without announcing it first? Just my pov.

 

[crowfeather]

Yes. Why announce your good intentions, your kindness, your assistance?
It points squarely at impure intent.
Quietly do your work, do your best, and move on.

 

[CogentPhilosopher]

It's the same as saying, "May the Force be with you," but not science fiction. It shows empathy. It shows being together with that person despite your differences.

I get some people get carried away with their religion ad nauseum, so I'm not talking about these religious nuts. However, there are internet atheists who do so, too, with their complaints.

I don't have a problem with it and I know a lot of atheists don't. Richard Dawkins said that he says grace if asked to.

The other complaint I have is politics being carried over to sports and consumerism. Just today, I've had to read people on both sides of the political spectrum taking pot shots at each other because a liberal sports figure cannot do their job due to health pain. It was unfortunate that this individual spoke out against Trump, but he does not deserve ill will for it. That said, I do wish ill will on one liberal sports figure, but I also think this person has an a-hole personality. Yet, I bite my tongue. Is there something Jesus said about this?

That has nothing to do with the title of this thread and needs a separate thread.

 

[sun rise]

If one is going to express condolences it's natural to speak in a way that will help the other person. If I'm offering something to an atheist, I would not use 'prayer' but I would to a believer. If I'm not sure, I would use something neutral. Because it's not about me but about the person suffering a loss.

 

[danieldemol]

I wouldn't be offended by someone saying, "my prayers are with you"

 

[Skwim]

When people say things such as "my prayers are with you," I believe there's the presumption (hope) the recipient should care and will show their appreciation with a "Thank you." It amounts to a ploy to garner appreciation: "See what I just did and what a good boy I am. Now give me a pat on the back." A less egocentric person would simply offer up their prayer without mentioning it. That said, I also know that some people welcome hearing about prayers for them, sometimes even going out of their way to gather as many as they can from as many people as they can: attention seekers. Others, of course, feel this actually helps their situation. The more prayers said for them the more likely god will help them---as if god can be bribed with such tactics, which, perhaps, he can.

.

 

[CogentPhilosopher]

If one is going to express condolences it's natural to speak in a way that will help the other person. If I'm offering something to an atheist, I would not use 'prayer' but I would to a believer. If I'm not sure, I would use something neutral. Because it's not about me but about the person suffering a loss.

How is there a neutral between prayer and not-prayer?

 

[sun rise]

How is there a neutral between prayer and not-prayer?

I did not use the word 'between' but described three cases: atheist, believer, unknown as illustrations that what one says should be helpful to the receiver.

 

[VioletVortex]

Their isn't really anything wrong with it as long as their intentions are good. Of course, one could argue that the theology is incorrect, but that is really beside the point. Whenever anyone of any religion says something like that, I am warmed by it, though I prefer more secular speech in non-religious contexts.

 

[crowfeather]

Living in Canada, as I do, I encounter a weird phenomenon whenever I am around people...
They all seem to be reading from an identical script: one I have not been issued with.
For example, everybody says: "Hi. How are you today?"
You might imagine this be polite, and innocuous, and you might be right.
But it's all in the delivery.

It is very common to encounter people who have actually managed to weaponize this greeting, rendering it into passive-aggression.
It would seem that very few Canadians are aware of this, but both I and my wife can easily spot it.

Detecting passive-aggressive intent, I decline to respond, whereupon the passive promptly disappears, and it becomes overt and active aggression.
A response then is demanded. To which I mostly don't respond.

It is probably the same with the statement mentioned in the OP: the intent behind it may be more clear to some, than it is to others.
It may go well, but it also may not.

 

[Bob the Unbeliever]

Living in Canada, as I do, I encounter a weird phenomenon whenever I am around people...
They all seem to be reading from an identical script: one I have not been issued with.
For example, everybody says: "Hi. How are you today?"
You might imagine this be polite, and innocuous, and you might be right.
But it's all in the delivery.

It is very common to encounter people who have actually managed to weaponize this greeting, rendering it into passive-aggression.
It would seem that very few Canadians are aware of this, but both I and my wife can easily spot it.

Detecting passive-aggressive intent, I decline to respond, whereupon the passive promptly disappears, and it becomes overt and active aggression.
A response then is demanded. To which I mostly don't respond.

It is probably the same with the statement mentioned in the OP: the intent behind it may be more clear to some, than it is to others.
It may go well, but it also may not.

Yes... some folk do enjoy being the bully to others, even if in small ways.

It is sad that religion makes this so very, very easy to do...

 

[arthra]

What's Wrong With Sincerely Saying, "Our Thoughts And Prayers Are With You."

For me well wishing, prayers and good thoughts are welcome. I generally take them and consider the source has a pure intent and positive direction. Along with prayers and positive intent is a helpfulness to the other person ... Kahlil Gibran suggested that the wayfarer removes stones along the path making it easier for those on the trail and I feel this is a kind of "paying it forward".

 

[Sapiens]

...Is there something Jesus said about this?

Psalm 23:5