What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I haven't really thought of it.
What is your greatest fear?
I haven't thought of this either.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
How easy it is for me to lie, cheat and other nasty things I picked up as a kid to help things not be so bad.
By easy, I mean I usually will not feel guilt, will not hesitate or doubt, the act comes as easily as honesty.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Dishonesty.
Which living person do you most admire?
Jane Goodall.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Probably my book collection.
What is your current state of mind?
Overall depressed and feeling like a failure, hopeless and anxious about the future.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Humility.
On what occasion do you lie?
It started to protect me, keep people away, and to cover my tracks from authoritarian mom. Most often it's just to avoid a conversation or avoid people.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
The results of male puberty.
Which living person do you most despise?
Not sure about this. That I actually know my dad.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Honesty.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Honesty.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Of this I don't know.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My brother. He filled in for a lot of roles for me, was more of a dad to me than my own dad, and the only one in my family to ever apologize to me for any wrongs done to me.
It's been just over two years since he died and I still ache.
When and where were you happiest?
It was the last Family Values Tour. I was with my best friend, her parents were there (emotionaally they've been more like parents to me than mine have). Stone Sour was one stage, and not only did they steal the show is so good at working the crowd and brings so much energy to the stage he got the audience in the lawn section rioting and tearing up the place just by ranting about Bush Jr. There was no encouraging, no mentions or hints or suggestions, just a rant against Bush, a mentioning of freedom, and things started getting rowdy in one spot of the lawn off to the side and then exploded and consumed the lawn. Clothes, shoes, trash, cans, chunks of sod (some large enough to require multiple people to throw) and more were flying in the air, the was a huge cloud if dust covering the area, people are moshing and fighting everywhere, there's some lawn fires, security evacuated the lawn, my friend's dad is 6'11 and tucked his glasses close and pulled down the bill kf his hat and enjoyed the view, I accidentally backhanded someone throwing sod, I accidentally elbowed someone in the face moshing, I lost a pair of sunglasses when I was hit on the head with sod, and the riot squad was called the venue and put on standby. After Stone Sour the morning DJs of x103 at the time (Stuck and Gunner (the Gunner sometimes on Bob and Tom) I think) came on stage and told us if we don't chill the hell out they are telling the riot squad to go and people are going to jail.
A very close second was whatever Ozzfest it was (I with a different group) and above mentioned friend threw a bottle full of whatever from much further back in the crowd, aiming for a security guard known for being a prick, and ended up hitting me not even knowing I was in that area of the lawn (it's how we found eachother that year
).
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would like more musical talent, but I really need better social skills.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I'm not sure. On one hand I really wish I was born female, but I'm also really struggling in life due to poor social skills and trying to find help to learn the absolute requirements for survival (like succeeding in a job interview) has also been a challenge.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
The times I've had art on display or published. I've not had anything major or big but it's nice to say I've had some poems published and some drawings on display.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
What kind of thing? A random non-human thing? A thing we can pick?
Where would you most like to live?
Some where warm like here but with clean air, outside of America.
What is your most treasured possession?
The material things it's a toss up. I have some rare books, some autographed music albums and band posters, I also have an Edison Victrola.
Sentimentals it's this glass hourglass filled with iron fillings on a magnetic base my brother gave to me.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
For me it was the weeks and months after my brother died.
What is your favorite occupation?
I'm not exactly sure what this is asking.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Most people notice my calmness, intelligence, stubbornness and my generally being anti-authority.
Those who get to know tend to say first deeply caring and loyal.
What do you most value in your friends?
I think it's the deep level of trust my best friend and I have for each other. A trust that must exist for deep bonds, emotional security and a love that is unbreakable.
Who are your favorite writers?
Chuck Palahniuk, Bernard Cornwell, Shakespeare, Lovecraft, Poe, Mary Shelley Wollstonecraft, Eminem/Marshal Mathers.
Who is your hero of fiction?
The 10th Doctor.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
None that I can think of.
Who are your heroes in real life?
My brother was. I wouldn't say he was a hero, but George Carlin also had a very strong influence on me during my teens.
What are your favorite names?
Never had any or thought of it.
What is it that you most dislike?
Not sure about the most.
What is your greatest regret?
Not sure with this either. The positions I'm in aren't typically due to a lack of trying.
How would you like to die?
Without pain and when I'm ready.
What is your motto?
Though I don't have one, I say **** a duck a lot.
