Hi Kryptid,
I apologise for making you wait for a reply, however, I have given it much thought and prayer. I am aware that what I tell you now is sacred and, therefore, open to ridicule by the trolls. I have only responded to one paragraph as it has rendered me exhausted. I will respond to the rest later as I still have a very important point to make that if not adhered to will almost certainly thwart and attempts that you make in communicating with the Holy Ghost. You probably know as much as I do about it, it relates to personal worthiness. Anyway, be assured that the road you are on is well trodden. I was on it myself for far to long.
I hope you return to the flock of the Lamb to find that straight an narrow path that leads to life eternal. I wish I could send you something that would connect you into the network of the Holy Ghost, who would testify to you of the authenticity of our God and his son, Jesus Christ.
I have felt the Holy Ghost in my heart. Many, many times. I used those experiences to justify my faith for many years. I don't deny that those experiences happened, it's the interpretation of those experiences that I now question. The reason is because I have since learned that the people of other religions say that they can also feel the presence of their respective gods and communicate with them as well. Not to mention that religious experiences can be created artificially, both from electromagnetic brain stimulation and suggestion. I now consider feelings to be one of the weakest forms of evidence for the divine.
Your word are very interesting and have struck on a familiar cord. I know where the problem lies, however, I am not so sure that I can be sufficiently articulate to convey it in words to you, but I do not mind trying, if you do not mind reading it.
I to was once in a very similar predicament to you. The year was 1981, winter, with thick snow on the ground, when we received a phone call to say that my father-in-law had a massive heart attack and as a result had passed away. It was the first death, in any of our families, of someone very close to us. When we viewed his body it was the first time we had seen someone who was dead. We were shocked at what we saw. An empty carcass having no evidence of the person that once occupied it. Where had he gone, was the first thing that came to our minds. Neither of us was particularly religious so heaven was not readily on our minds, nevertheless, we tried to find out from local clergy where they thought he had gone. None were able to answer our inquiry. Then, out of the blue came a knock on the door. When we opened it there were two Mormon missionaries stood there. They had a answer. Despite hours of trying to find holes in there answers they were able to give logical and understandable answers to all our questions. Within two weeks we found ourselves in the baptismal font being baptised into the Mormon religion. You may think that we were gullible, you would be right, however, I will come to that later. For 25 years I was a devout Mormon. I fulfilled every calling that could be filled in our local ward. I did an intense study on both the bible and the Book of Mormon and took a masters class on the New Testament. I also casually read the Bible and Book of Mormon several times. I could quote you chapter and verse of the most popular scriptures, although I lost that with age. I was, by all accounts, a "Peter Priesthood".
Now here is were we strike a similar cord. I never felt the Holy Ghost in all those years. In reality I did, however, I never recognised it because I was looking for something completely different. I had been duped by the missionaries and the church.
Please do not misunderstand me, Mormonism is essentially a very good social club to belong to, however, like Satan, they will tell you 99 truth to ensnare you with one lie, and I fell foul of that lie. What was the lie, the same lie that most Christian faith will tell you.
You see Mormons have some of the most sophisticated movie production facilities that you can find anywhere. BYU conduct courses on film production for up and coming movie producers. They are experts in what they do, however, what they do is not particularly ethical. They have approximately 50,000 missionaries in the field who are train to seduce you into joining the church. They carry with them Oscar winning church movies to show to perspective converts. Each film follows a similar format. A wholesome family story with a sad ending or a sad story with a happy ending. We have all watched these kind of movies. They cause us two swell up in the chest and feel tingly all over with emotion. Many will cry from the artificially induced emotion of Lassie dying or Grandma recovering from cancer because she had a blessing. The one I was shown was of the reaction of children who tragically lost their mother to some kind of illness and she promised she would look down on them from above. They could tell when she was looking as there would be a rainbow in the sky. Yes, I was sucked in by it and it took me twenty five years to realise what they did. The point I am making is that these missionaries told me that these emotions that I was feeling was in fact the Holy Ghost. They lied to me and caused me to live for 25 years without his companionship. It was just normal and natural emotion born out of happiness or sadness
What did they do? They gave me a false depiction of the Holy Ghost. I was looking for that warm feeling in my heart and a rush of emotion to my brain. I never received it, ever. I very often became emotional at the birth of a child, or something similar, but that was normal human emotion. It was not until I left the church and sought the council of the Holy Ghost, whilst reading scripture, did I realise that the influence of the Holy Ghost cannot be mistaken with your own emotions. They are separate and distinctive. God would have to be cruel, or a joke, to make them so similar that you could not tell one from the other. Reading your description was like reading my own experience. What you think is the Holy Ghost is actually your own emotions. You are right, feeling are the worst kind of evidence for deity because they can easily be mistaken.
The Holy Ghost is the third member of the Godhead. He is a personage of spirit, without a body of flesh and bones. He is often referred to as the Spirit, the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God, or the Comforter. The Holy Ghost is a sanctifier. Because no unclean thing can dwell in a divine presence, the whole system of salvation centers on the process of sanctification; people are saved to the extent that they are sanctified. Sanctification and holiness are inseparable. "To be sanctified is to become clean, pure, and spotless; to be free from the blood and sins of the world; to become a new creature of the Holy Ghost, one whose body has been renewed by the rebirth of the Spirit. Sanctification is a state of saintliness, a state attained only by conformity to the laws and ordinances of the gospel"
I see the Holy Ghost in all space, filled with a subtle, though material substance of wonderful properties, by which all natural phenomena are controlled. This substance is known as the Holy Spirit, or Dark Matter. Its most important characteristic is intelligence. ''Its inherent properties embrace all the attributes of intelligence. Knowledge is a function of intelligence, that means the immensity of space is filled with knowledge. Anything and everything that we can ever know is right in front of our eyes in a universal data base. All you need to be able to do is tap into it. To draw upon the powers of heaven and be sanctified by the Spirit of a living God. You are already naturally filled with it. It flows through your body like quantum physics tells us. It is not a swelling of the bossom or the point just before tears flow. You need a cool calm head to feel that external knowledge flow into your soul, testifying to you, your spirit, of that which is true. Communication of spirit with spirit in conceptual form. Feelings and conceptualisations that are not yours and are delivered in a micro second. Words seem archaic as everything is presented to your mind in an instant within your minds eye. The experience will engulf your entire being, both body and spirit, and you will know, without a doubt, that you are in communication with an external entity that is conversing with your spirit. .
Now, please do not expect that kind of experience everytime you communicate with the Holy Ghost. I have only witnessed it three times. Three times when my life was in tune with the teachings of the Gospel.Today, it is back to standard communications. I can actually feel him right now, as I write, guiding my hand. He is right there, within me and next to me. Telling me what to say, and very often, what not to say, I do not always listen, but he always forgives me. No swelling bossom, no teary eyes or lumps in the throat, just a constant presence guiding and directing me through this mortal probation, but as real as anything else in my life. I wish I could give you a prescription that would instantly give you this wonderful gift, so the eyes of your understanding maybe opened to the wonders of the universe. A understanding that supercedes the perceived knowledge that self proclaimed scientists think they have. A understanding that makes you realise that this forum must never be taken seriously, because those who frequent it, the atheists trolls, think that there belief system is the correct one to have and all others are fallacious fantasy. It is not. It is archaic. It relys on laborious calculations and unnecessary complexities. Through the Holy Ghost all of science is known without any words. You will be able to indulge in a little carnal smugness in the knowledge that you have a source of knowledge that makes them look like Kindergarten children.