Om Swastiastu.
I found this thread and thought I would share my Ishwar (I have two) and also, to give a brief background about my beliefs so others can view my posts based on this.
1. Lord Shiva - Bhairava Form.
Why this form? I really like the story about the Jyotir Lingam (representing Brahman Infinite) and Lord Brahma's claim to have discovered the end of his arrogant knowledge ( a totally Vedic concept). Thus, he was punished from within the Lingam itself!
Apart from that, this form appears on all the shrines and temples in Bali, Indonesia as a 'Temple Guardian' (in Lord Bhairava's role as that) and watched over me as a child. I found something about His fearsome face both intriguing and comforting simultaneously. I wasn't scared of Lord Shiva in this form.
I posted this in another thread and shall copy it here:
My Ishwara is Lord Bhairava. Bhairava's Shakti (feminine force) is Bhairavi Ma.
Lord Bhairava is Kala Bhairava in the Divine Aspect (In Buddhism, this is called Vairochana).
Kala Bhairava is synonymous with Maha Kala - that which oversees the Dance of Lord Nataraja, as a Master of Time would.
As stated, Maha Kala's feminine aspect is Maha Kali.
Therefore, Bhairavi Mata is also Maha Kali.
I also worship the Divine Goddess and a huge note here:
You can't reach Lord Shiva except through Divine Mother as per the Vijnana Bhairava Tantras (my sacred books), but I still primarily worship Lord Shiva in the above Cosmic manifestation that beheaded Lord Brahma.
2. Sri Ardharnarishwar.
Reaching an understanding of the above, I had to reconcile it with another aspect of my whole belief system, Advaita Vedanta.
Seeing the dual aspect of the nature of both Shiva and Shakti, I wanted to apply nihilism logic and beheld the beautiful form of Sri Ardharnarishwar.
It also fit in nicely with my background in the Shaiva Agama Tantras and Traditions (I adopted from a very early age) and the next step was to study
Adi Shankaracharya - Soundarya Lahari.
I include both Ishwara in my heart, soul and in my daily prayers. they both/each and
all have my heartfelt pranams and surrender over and over...
Om Namah Shivay.